People with antisocial personality disorder are better known as psychopaths or sociopaths to the general public, but the terms are not interchangeable. Many people, upon hearing the term “psychopath”, envision Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, and while he was indeed a psychopath, the majority of people with antisocial personality disorder live among us and carry on seemingly normal lives.  

What is antisocial personality disorder? 

Antisocial personality disorder is a mental illness which presents in long-term patterns of manipulation, lack of empathy, and disregard for the law. “Antisocial” can be considered something of a misnomer, however, since that word is more commonly associated with shyness.

According to Dr. Donald W. Black, a professor of psychiatry who has been studying antisocial personality disorder for more than 20 years, “The term arose because the disorder is anti-society. It’s [behaviour] that’s directed against society.” Studies on antisocial personality disorder are few and far between, but others like Dr. Black continue to petition for better funding for research into this still largely unknown disorder. 

The sociopath 

Sociopaths often have difficult childhoods due to poverty, abuse, or neglect. For this reason, many mental health professionals tend to consider sociopathy to have an environmental factor in its inception.

Sociopaths tend to be hot-headed and impulsive, with little or no regard for the law or the feelings of others. That being said, however, sociopaths do form attachments to people close to them and will avoid hurting them, or will feel remorse after causing them pain. They do not feel empathy toward people outside of their small group of close attachments. 

The psychopath 

Psychopathy is considered a more innate form of antisocial personality disorder. Upbringing does not seem to be as much of a factor for psychopaths as it is for sociopaths.

Unlike sociopaths, psychopaths do not feel empathy, guilt, or remorse, even when causing pain to “friends” or family members. Psychopaths are cold and calculating but present themselves as charming and witty individuals. They use their charm to manipulate people into doing what they want, and for this reason, they often end up high-powered positions in their careers. 

The similarities 

Psychopaths and sociopaths aren’t completely different, hence the terms being used interchangeably. At their most basic, both are manipulative, tend to commit crimes without guilt or fear of consequences, and lack compassion for others. Both are likely to lie, cheat, and steal if it gets them what they want. Some describe both psychopaths and sociopaths as “lacking a conscience”. 

Antisocial personality disorder is a serious mental illness that strongly affects those around the person afflicted. Oftentimes the individual will not seek out treatment since they truly do not believe anything is wrong with them nor do they have any desire to change.

When treatment is sought it is usually at the request of a court after a crime has been committed. If you know someone who may have antisocial personality disorder, it is important to get the right support in dealing with the situation.

A private therapist in London could mean the difference between being a victim and handling the situation appropriately. 

Further suggested reading 

While doing research for this article, I came across a very poignant piece written by a patient diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. It is a unique and insightful look into the mind of a sociopath and is well worth a read: Confessions of a Sociopath by M. E. Thomas .

This personal trait might be the reason why people feel intimidated in front of you

Very often, our personality is just a reflection of events that we went through in our lifetime. Privately, we often don’t know how tough we are until we are forced to face a difficult situation, and only then we see our real strength.

Strong personality is a good thing and all of us should have it, but sometimes that can cause fear in others. In many cases, people who have strong personality are intimidating to other people. Most of the time it is not their intention to intimidate others, but it is a result of their tough attitude.

Intimidation can have different meaning for different people, but there are some things that can contribute to it.  

These are 5 things that make a personality look intimidating:

1.Intellectual conversations

People who have a strong personality have difficulty just to chit-chat. Most of the time they will consider it a waste of time. When this person is involved in a conversation, they want it to be intellectual, and it is really hard to accommodate their standards. They want someone who is curious about the world, someone who’s not limited.

They will not hide this side of their personality. Strong minded people might even go far and tell you that you are wasting their time. They are very pragmatic, and they will talk only if the conversation is in their interest. For some people this might be intimidating and rough.

2. Luck follows the brave and hardworking

Often, strong characters are also very successful and when it comes to success, people with strong personality have one motto: Work hard and never let an opportunity go by. They instantly recognize an opportunity and they go for it without hesitation, regardless what others might think or feel about it. It might seem selfish but this is their recipe for success. In many cases, strong minded people are obsessed with success and they will not stop until they have it. This could easily become intimidating for the people around them.

3. You get annoyed with some people

In general, people with strong personality are well educated and well informed. They are well aware of anything that happens in their surroundings, and they spend lots of time exploring the world around them.

This type of people have high self-confidence and get annoyed easily. Therefore they will not tolerate a small talk with someone who’s ignorant, fake and judgmental. It might seem rude but people with strong personality will try to avoid people that they consider unworthy.

4. Not interested in drawing attention

While many people feel good when they have attention drawn to them, people with strong personality don’t really care about it. They will not try to get attention from others in any way, good or bad. They simply don’t feel the need for it.

Actually, all they want to do is to do a good job and succeed. They might seem rude to attention lovers as they might show disrespect for them. From their point of view, people who are asking for attention are people who have no self-confidence and have weak personality.

5. They are not interested in apologizes

You will never hear an excuse from a person with strong personality. They are very pragmatic and ethical when working, they know that life is not perfect and they accept that easily. When there is a problem they make an effort to solve it, instead of coming up with an excuse.

Their mindset doesn’t allow them to tolerate people who are always complaining and finding excuses for their failures.  They just don’t respect whining, and they aren’t afraid to criticize it.

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We all have intuition. As a women, me personally I have used my intuition in many cases and I’ve never been wrong. Intuition has also been studied by researchers.

The newest book written by Gerd Gigerenzer, “Gut feelings: The intelligence of the unconscious” proves this.

Gigerenzer, who is a director at Max Planck Institute for Human Development, says that intuition is instinctively recognizing and understanding the information which is needed to solve the problem instead of definitely knowing the solution of the given situation from previous experience.

In “Gut Feelings: The intelligence of the unconscious” he says that he himself is intuitive and rational. He believes that in his scientific work a gut feeling brings him the answer very often.

According to him, sometimes one cannot explain why something is right and it’s just the feeling that brings you to the realization.

Even in his private life, he admits that it is best to rely on your instinct. A good example is his first encounter with his wife. Namely, when he meet her, he recalls that he was not overthinking neither calculating anything – he just had a feeling.

One of his readers, Joy Boleda, asked him a question that intrigued him and made him tell this story. The question was: 

Gerd Gigernzer answered that his instinct tells him to say yes, even more when it comes to talking about people who are curious and seek knowledge and changes in their way of thinking.

Simply put, if you are waiting for an answer sitting and doing nothing just waiting for the instinct to give you the answer you are not exercising your intelligence. But if you think about and go over different possible solutions, than you are training your intelligence and your gut feeling will give you the answer to the right solution for you. 

Actually, many people think of intuition as a form of collective intelligence. Just take a look how web pages evolved over time. They used to be made of a lot of information put together on one page. However, today they are very intuitive to use and you can easily access the information you need. This way of organizing web pages was introduced by several web designers at approximately same time who selected the most important information.

Theo Humphries defines intuitive design as design that could be understood by most of people without any extra explanation for it. This makes sense. You know how most people find some objects easy to understand and others not?

Humphries, too considers himself a believer in the potential of controlled and well trained intuition. According to him, if you want someone to believe in your intuition you need to use your brain, think a lot and share your ideas and arguments with others.

On top of all, you should never be static and always be on the move searching for new things and ideas. If you are static and stuck in your comfort zone, no one will believe in your intuition.

Theo adds that intuition works better if you investigate more and when you stay hungry for learning and researching new ideas and solutions. That’s how you train your mind to be intuitive.

This is what Albert Einstein had said on this matter: 

Many times, we find ourselves in a situation where we have a bad feeling for something. These situations can be caused by someone who has influenced us, or by our side, as well. In these situations the only thing that can save us is intuition. If you have a bad feeling about something, you should never ignore your intuition, no matter how badly you need or want to go towards that thing.

Intelligent people always listen to their intuition. The biggest geniuses in history have never ignored their feelings, in fact they have always known what they feel about something and they have trusted their intuition.

That’s why they have better judgment in certain situations. They wouldn’t become the intellectuals they are and stand out above others without following their intuition.

Image Copyright: niserin / 123RF Stock Photo

Happiness is a way of life, an attitude toward life that is designed to let you experience the positive outlook on your life and your actions. This kind of happiness takes time to build, but once you’ve got into the habit of living a happy life, you can never go back to the queue for the illusory happiness.

Being happy means taking a full control over your life and living it to the fullest. So, here are the things genuinely happy people do that unhappy people tend not to.

1. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t.

Gratitude is the first step to realizing that you are already a happy person. There are so many things that you have if you decide to look around you. Being unthankful and paying no value to these things will eventually leave you without them.

Happy people realize that one can never have everything. So, instead of focusing on the things that you don’t have, and dwelling over how ‘miserable’ your life is without them, you could take a look at your life and understand that you have already been blessed more than once.

2. Be realistic toward your expectations.

Expectations are the mother of all disappointment. Why? Because we often tend to rely on external sources without thinking that we are the only and most reliable source of happiness for ourselves.

You should always be realistic toward your expectations. If you have set them toward people, ask yourself if these expectations can really be met by someone (or something) that doesn’t owe you anything to make your life happier.

The best person to meet all your expectations is yourself. Do you know why? Because you know your limits and you set your expectations accordingly.

3. You have the power to change your life.

There is always something we will not like about our lives. Now, the question is: Will you complain, or will you try to set the course straight? Happy people choose the latter.

Your life is what you do with it. If you expect that it will magically change for the better, you are fooling yourself greatly. The reality is that if you don’t contribute to how your life looks like, you will end up in a dead end, and thus misery.

If you want something from life, you need to start working toward it, not just daydream about it. Take control over the situations and start creating some beneficial ones that will contribute to a goal you have set in your mind. Happiness is action.

4. Happiness has no destination.

While many think that happiness looks like some magical moment in the future where everything will be pink and colorful, the truth is that happiness doesn’t look like that at all. Happiness has no destination – it’s the ride itself that makes happiness possible.

Experiencing genuine happiness is understanding that life is full of ups and downs (like a roller-coaster). Your job is to enjoy the ride, not think of the destination.

5. Slow down.

You can’t smell the roses, you can’t see the beauties around you, and you can’t really enjoy life if you are on the run all the time. Slowing down is essential for a happy life. Devote a part of the day for doing nothing.

Don’t be surprised to see a happy person with a hobby. They all have one. It’s not only about the money and getting everything done – it’s also about giving some pleasure to your life that no money can give to you. Slow down and do something you’ve always wanted to do.

6. There are no shortcuts.

Easy come easy go. Everything in life that has come the easy way in, will easily go out as soon as you become numb to it. In truth, you will never learn the value and appreciate the fruits of whatever comes into your life unless you don’t work for it, earn it.

Getting an easy job, tricking your way into things, easy money – these are all shortcuts that will eventually leave you unaware of your worth and your abilities. In turn, you will never feel the happiness that comes out of getting things on a silver platter for no good reason, because there is no such happiness.

7. You are not entitled to anything.

You should never think that the things that come into your life are there because you deserve them unconditionally. You are not entitled to anything but what you make out of your life.

The truth is that no one owes you anything, you rip only what you have sowed and everything else is a bonus. So, work hard to giving yourself whatever you think you deserve. Deserve it.

8. Your life has significance.

Once you understand what your gifts and abilities are, you need to understand that your life has significance on every scale imaginable. A happy person will always try to leave the world better than they found it.

So, never stop improving and being good to your world. Your life has the potential to change many others for the better.

9. Be generous.

Selfish people are miserable. Generosity means opening your heart to the world. In turn, the world opens up to you. Being generous means that you find greater value for which you don’t hesitate to sacrifice something of a lesser value. Never stop being generous.

Do you know who gets the best out of forgiveness? If a person has hurt you, dwelling on the pain will cause only greater pain. This gives that person power over you long after they have done whatever they did.

Forgiving is letting go of the influence over you and taking the power into your own hands again. The best way to live happily is to move on. Nothing is permanent and nobody is perfect. If you can forgive and stay, do it. If not, just forgive and move on.

11. Happiness is an attitude. Attitude is a choice.

Choosing to have a great and positive attitude toward life is the key to happiness. You can let your feeling take control over you, and you can also take control over your life and your outlook on it. The latter is happiness.

Nobody’s life is easy and it’s because struggles make growth possible. Having a positive attitude while you are living it will make life more interesting to walk through.

12. Speak beauty.

If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t speak at all. It’s not because you are trying to ignore the negative bits of life, but because you know that munching on a bitter rubber will never solve any problem.

Choose words that are uplifting, encouraging, and full of positive energy. You need that energy to work on those bad bits and make them work out just right for you. Love life and don’t be afraid to show it – life is beautiful, no matter how much you’re trying to see it as dark.

Inspired by Rev. Shane L. Bishop