1. He sends you mixed signals. Are you uncertain of his feelings for you? Are you unsure about what he is thinking? One day he calls you and texts you first and wants to spend the whole day together, and the next he is distant again. He mentions going on a vacation together but then changes his mind because he might not have the time or because he promised his friends to hang out with them, play video games, go on that gig, and whatnot. Mixed signals cause uncertainty and overthinking.
2. He isn’t jealous. Jealousy is not a good thing, it’s borderline toxic. It points to a lack of trust in a relationship, but cute little innocent jealousy at the beginning is always welcome. It’s flattering, and if he does not show any jealousy whatsoever, it could mean he doesn’t really care. That he has no serious plans for the future.
3. He talks about a future. Without you. This is a huge red flag, especially if you’ve been dating for a while. He talks about the places he wants to visit, about the cars he wants to buy, about the food he wants to try. Singular. Even though you are standing next to him.
4. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family. This is a double-edged sword. When you love the person you are with, you want them to meet your circle of people. You want to let them in. If you’ve been dating for a while and he still hasn’t mentioned introducing you to his friends, let alone his family, it could be he is still having doubts or he is just shy and unsure if YOU would be comfortable to meet his friends or family, or if is it the right time just yet. The length of your relationship can determine which side of the sword is pointing at you. The first side is sharper.
5. He talks about other women. He comments about other women’s attractiveness in front of you. I mean, if you are in a serious relationship, this could be like a joke for your partner to tease you and vice versa, but if he is saying this right out the gate, it could be a bad sign. Or, if he talks about his exes a lot, it could mean he is still not over the past. Get out of there. You don’t need underlying issues right from the start of something new.
6. He never takes you out anywhere. He never takes you out to lunch, dinner, or coffee. He has never suggested you take a walk together or go to the movies and share a huge bucket of popcorn. Also, if he does not show any public affection or hold hands…it sounds harsh, but cutting that relationship from the core would not be the worst idea ever.
7. There is no relationship growth. The path to a successful relationship is not paved, it’s muddy and full of bumps and curves, but it exists. With effort, you can cross it together. However, if you are dating for a while and you see no progress, if your partner is distant, if he makes no plans for Valentine’s day or if you have received no gifts from him, it could be because he does not plan to take the relationship to the next level. If you don’t hold hands in public and if your partner hasn’t really opened up to you, you should reconsider if you want to stay in a one-sided relationship for much longer.
We are not always at the same level; we don’t always want the same things. Sometimes, the timing is not right, but none of it is your fault. Choosing to be unhappy, however, is. So if deep down you feel like something is off, chances are, you are right. In a healthy and serious relationship, you wouldn’t feel doubts and insecurities. You wouldn’t overthink your partner’s actions and mood swings. There is a reason you feel the way you feel, so why waste your time?
Nora Connel is a devoted writer with a BA in English Language and Literature. Her interests span around psychology, human relationships, and the inner self. She believes that writing has healing powers.
