First, let me tell you that you are a warrior. You are one of a kind. Your strength, courage, and resilience are the reason why this world should be proud to have you.

And I know you are tired. I know you’re feeling like you’re breaking and falling apart. But you need to know that this is all fine. You’re tired because you’ve been strong and brave so many times. Because you’ve fought so many battles and won each and every one of them. 

Because you’ve had your heart broken so many times and you were left to pick up the broken pieces on your own. Because you’ve always been there for others.

You’ve been through the worst, but you never let your problems, misfortunes, pain, and fears break you. You are still going through a tough time, but you are still standing.

Why?

Because there’s strength within you. There’s strength and courage within you to confront and overcome any obstacle, problem, and pain life throws your way. There’s strength within you to handle any hardship.

I know you’re scared now too. You don’t want to face your problems alone. You need another person to be your rock. You need another person to give you the help and support you’ve been always giving others.

You need this not because you’re unable to walk through life alone but because it’s much easier when you have someone to accompany you along the way. It’s easier when you have someone who understands you and truly feels what you’re going through.

Another thing you need to know is that it’s okay to lose it every once in a while. It’s okay to cry and be vulnerable. It’s okay to be tired.

It’s okay to let yourself fall apart.

It’s okay to be fed up with being strong all the time.

It’s fine to give yourself time to be sad and angry. It’s fine to give yourself time to accept your pain and heal your wounds.

All this is not a sign of weakness. In fact, this is just proof that you’ve been too strong for too long.

A person who is always there for others when they need help, can’t be weak. Because that’s what you did. You had everyone’s back.

Whoever asked for your help, you unselfishly gave it to them. You are someone that others can always rely on. And people know this. They’ve seen your kindness, strength, resilience, and courage so many times.

Unlike many others, you are not looking for anyone to solve your problems. You are just looking for your own sword – the sword with which you’re going to fight your own battles.

You are looking for the tools with which you are going to deal with your own problems.

I know that all the battles you’ve already fought and the ones you’re still fighting exhaust you. People who expect you to be strong all the time and be always there for them tire you too.

You’re fed up with always giving people your time, energy, and love.

You’re tired of being tough all the time.

You’re tired of looking for men worthy of your love and respect. Because you can’t play games with immature, fickle, irresponsible boys.

You need a smart, responsible, and strong man that will be able to keep up with you in every aspect of life.

You need a man of high integrity who will always be true to his word.

You need a man who will treat you like you deserve – with kindness, compassion, respect, affection, and dignity. A man who will appreciate everything you do for him.

You need a man who will let you know that you don’t need to fight your battles on your own because he’ll always be by your side. A man who will stay by your side even when everyone else stops believing in you and gives up on you.

You need a man who will be willing to catch you when life knocks you down.

You need a man who will know that you’re strong enough to fall apart and strong enough to lift yourself up and move on.

You need a man who will be aware of your worth. A man who will be your sword and armor. A man who will know you are a warrior.

It is true what they say – that when we’re in love, we see the world through rose-colored glasses. When we’re with someone that we truly love and care about, every problem and pain seems to fade away. We overlook the hurtful words they say, the bad things they do, and all the pain they cause us. Unfortunately, it is very easy to fall into the trap of a person who is toxic.

I, just like a lot of other women out there, got caught in this trap. I lost myself to a selfish, manipulative, heartless man and believed that it was love. True love. It is an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

If you’re someone whose heart was also broken by a toxic man, then you know exactly what I went through. So, here’s my story.

What I went through was awful. It was demeaning and painful.

I spent day after day wondering if I’d ever get back to being normal. I wondered if I was ever going to be the woman I used to be.

Yes, I know, relationships are not easy. They require time and work. But when you’re with the right person, relationships are simple. They make you feel happier and fulfilled. They add value to your life.

When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you get treated like you deserve. You receive the love and respect you’re worthy of. But when you’re with the wrong person, everything is different.

I’m ashamed to admit that I stayed so long in a life-sucking, toxic relationship. I stayed in a relationship with someone who instead of making me feel loved and protected, he made me fear him.

And all it took was just one day – the day when I said to myself: “I’ve had it enough. I’ll no longer be a part of this torture.”

I plucked up enough courage and walked away.

Leaving him was the best decision I’ve ever made and if I hadn’t found the courage to leave him, I wouldn’t know where I’d be today.

I’m glad it’s all over now because I dated someone who shattered my self-esteem.

Because he knew how to manipulate me and I let him do that. Because he played wicked mind games with me and made me doubt my own perceptions and judgments. Because the more time we spent together, the more he made me feel confused. Because I was weak and I didn’t know how to fight his manipulation tactics and devious mind games.

I dated someone who enjoyed putting me down.

Every other woman was prettier, smarter, and better than me. There was always some kind of problem with me. I was either “too emotional,” or “too needy,” or “obsessively jealous.”

Whatever we talked about, he’d always find a way to make me feel like what I had to say was illogical, stupid, or irrelevant. Even my jokes weren’t funny to him – they were “lame,” as he used to call them.

I dated someone who never saw and accepted me for who I really was.

No one is perfect, but he made me feel like I was the most flawed person in the entire world. Whenever he had a chance to point out my insecurities, fears, and failures, he took it.

He even compared me with other women, including my friends and coworkers, and told me how they always dressed and behaved better than me.

I was never good enough for him.

Slowly, he managed to make me hate the person I saw whenever I looked at the mirror. I couldn’t find anything good about my physical appearance or behavior. I found flaws wherever I looked. I stopped seeing myself as the pretty, smart, strong woman I used to be.

I dated someone whom I thought I knew.

Because with his charm, great manipulation tactics, and superb acting skills, he managed to convince me that he was kind, compassionate, and loving.

He managed to convince me that I was the only woman that existed in his world. That he loved me “to the moon and back,” as he used to say to me.

But all that was a lie. A big, fat lie. He wasn’t the sweet person I thought he was, nor was he in love with me. He was just a selfish, manipulative, cruel a*hole.

I dated someone who I believed could change.

Because I wanted him to change. I hoped that if he felt the purity and intensity of my love for him, he’d realize how bad he treated me and he’d want to change his behavior.

I patiently waited for him to become the man I created in my head. But that was all just wishful thinking.

I was naïve for believing he would change and show me the love I deserved. Because how can you expect someone to change when they’re a 100 percent sure they’re perfect? How can you expect someone to love you when instead of a heart, they have a cold stone? How can you expect someone to respect you and your feelings when they have no conscience?

Yes, I know all these things now, but back then, I was too ignorant to notice and accept them.

I dated someone who made me doubt everyone.

Just because he was phony, manipulative, and bad, I let myself think that everyone else was the same as him. I refused to let anyone in my life since I was afraid that they might hurt me as he did.

I couldn’t share my problems with my friends because I felt too embarrassed that I let myself be so humiliated and emotionally abused. I couldn’t talk to other people as well because I thought they’d believe him and not me – the “overly sensitive and dramatic” person he made me feel and look like.

I dated someone who didn’t love anyone but himself.

Regardless of how much love I had for him, it was never enough. No matter how kind to him I was, he never returned the kindness. He was affectionate towards me only when he was in the mood. My feelings, needs, and wishes didn’t matter to him.

He made me feel alone even when he was around me.

I dated someone whom I allowed to manipulate me.

Whenever something went wrong in the relationship, he always found a way to make me feel responsible for it and shift the blame onto me. Whenever he ignored me and acted like I was a ghost, he made me think I deserved it. Whenever I tried to complain about his behavior, he told me I was “unnecessarily jealous and too dramatic.”

Yes, I was his puppet and I allowed it.

I dated someone who made me become stronger.

Because I felt strong and brave enough to let go of him. Because I decided to put an end to the emotional torture he put me through. Because I realized he was not better than me. Because I realized that all those feelings of weakness, shame, and unworthiness he provoked in me had nothing to do with who I really was or my value.

I realized that my deep love for him made me blind and that it was the only reason why I allowed him to treat me that way.

I realized that I deserved someone way better than him and a relationship way too different from the one I was in.

Because I found the strength to walk away although I loved him with every part of me.

Actions speak louder than words may sound like a cliché, but when it comes to men and the way they express their love, this is the absolute truth.

Men like to keep things simple. And I believe we can all agree that they’re not very good at putting their emotions into words. However, just because they don’t go around saying “I love you” to every woman, it doesn’t mean they’re insensitive, cold, or too afraid to love.

The thing is that a man has to be sure about the woman he loves. He’ll never say “I love you” to someone he’s just in a casual relationship with.

But, when a man is truly and madly in love, he won’t feel ashamed or afraid to show that. He’ll express his emotions openly and he won’t care whether someone will say he’s weak or less of a man.

When a man is truly in love, he’ll devote himself completely to you and your happiness and make sure you know how much you mean to him.

Here are 7 signs that show he’s truly and madly in love with you:

1. He sacrifices for you.

When a man is truly and unconditionally in love, he is willing to make sacrifices for his woman’s happiness. He’s willing to sacrifice his own needs, wishes, and even happiness so as to make you feel happy and fulfilled. He puts your feelings and needs before his.

2. He attentively listens to you.

When you share your worries and problems with him or complain about your jealous coworker, he actively listens to you. He doesn’t just stand there and nod his head while his brain is wandering off who knows where, but he pays attention to what you have to say because your words matter to him.

3. He fights for your love.

When a man is truly in love, he’s not afraid to show you his feelings and vulnerable sides. The only thing he’s afraid of is losing you. Therefore, he makes sure he nurtures the love that exists between you. He treats you with kindness, compassion, affection, and dignity. He takes care of you and makes sure you know how important you are to him.

4. He also fights with you.

Every couple fights. In every relationship, arguments are inevitable and they’re also necessary since it is during these times that your love is put to test.

When you’re with a man who is truly and madly in love with you, he doesn’t sweep your relationship problems under the carpet and pretend like they don’t exist. He doesn’t play the victim role and shift the blame onto you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. Instead, he makes sure you two talk your problems out and reach a solution that’s the best for both of you.

5. He shows you his vulnerable sides.

When a man is truly in love, he doesn’t feel ashamed or afraid to show his woman his vulnerabilities and fears.

He is not afraid to open his heart to you and share with you his darkest secrets, worries, and problems. He doesn’t even feel ashamed to drop a tear or two when you’re watching some sad movie together.

It’s simple – when a man is truly and madly in love with you, he lets you see every part of him.

6. He’s proud of you.

He’s proud of you the way you are. He knows all your qualities, strengths as well as insecurities, annoying habits, and fears and he accepts and admires you just the way you are.

He’s proud of your achievements as well. He feels happy when you achieve your goals. And most importantly, the happiness and pride he feels in his soul are genuine. Because where there’s true love, there’s no competition. Your happiness is his happiness. Your successes are his successes.

7. He cares about your loved ones.

He knows how much your family and friends mean to you, and therefore he makes sure he respects and gets along well with them. Even if he doesn’t like some relative or friend of yours, he’d never allow himself to badmouth or get into angry fights with them.

When the guy you’re with really loves you and respects you, he makes sure he treats your loved ones with the same amount of kindness, respect, and dignity he treats you.

Aunt – a three-letter word that describes someone who is one of the most important people in our lives. Someone who has a powerful, profound, and positive effect on our lives.

Aunts are these amazing women that take on the role of second mothers. They show you love, understand you, and teach you values like a mom. They keep your secrets and are always on your side like a sister. They give you their support and believe in you like a best friend.

Aunts are these sweet, compassionate, loving beings that guide you through life and see you through rose-colored glasses.

They show others how proud of you they are when you are not around and point out your flaws and mistakes in front of you. They laugh at your jokes and they laugh with you when you do silly things.

Aunts are these lovely, caring beings that are always ready to jump in and spend time with you or help you when you’re going through tough times. They are your personal cheerleader. Your safe haven. Your treasure.

Here are 12 reasons why your aunt is one of the most important people in your life:

1. She is the person you call when you need help.

What makes aunts so special is the fact that they’ll never let their nephews and nieces deal with their problems on their own. And I believe you’ve already realized how unselfish, caring, and supportive your aunt is.

She’s always willing to offer you some wise piece of advice and great solutions to your problems.  Yes, she’s your greatest help and support.

2. She was your partner in crime while growing up.

She covered up your silly behavior. She let you get away with things you would have got punished for. She let you into family secrets that, of course, you weren’t supposed to know. And she always sneaked you cookie or things that you were not supposed to have.

3. She is the one you look up to.

You admire her kind nature, her strength, her resilience, her unselfishness, her charisma, her positive energy. You admire her ability to act like a mother or a teacher one day and like a little kid the next. You admire the way she handles any obstacle and problem life sends her way. You admire her pure, big heart because there’s love in it for everyone.

4. She’s always on your side in front of your parents.

Whenever you’re feeling like it’s you against the entire world, your aunt is always there to stand up for you. She knows your soul and the way you think. She knows everything about you. Therefore, she always sticks up for you when your parents or anyone else criticize you.

5. She is the one you confide in.

Isn’t it amazing when you have someone with whom you can share your worries, deepest fears, insecurities, and problems? Isn’t it great when you can tell somebody your darkest secrets and also know that they’ll never use them against you? Well, your aunt is someone you can always confide in because your secrets are always safe with her.

6. She encouraged you to explore the world and live life your way.

She wanted you and encouraged you to become your own person. She encouraged you to broaden your knowledge of the world, gain new experiences and perceptions on life. She encouraged you to do the things you wanted and explore the world as you saw it.  

7. She helped you understand your parents.

Yes, when you’re a child, parents sometimes appear difficult to love. But she knows that when they disagree with you and even when they appear too controlling, they behave that way because they genuinely love and care about you.

She knows they always want the best for you and they’ll never let you go astray. Therefore, when you were a kid, she told you things about their past so that you can understand them better.  

8. She knows all your best friends.

Not only does she know your best friends, but she gets along well with them too. Your friends like her and enjoy being in her company because of her liveliness, kindness, and sense of humor. She doesn’t bother to join your ladies nights occasionally and have fun with you like she’s one of your besties.

9. She knows how to make you smile.

She’s the one you go to when you feel like no one understands you, not even your friends. Nothing makes her feel sadder than when she sees you’re worried or unhappy and therefore she tries her best to help you solve your problems and put a smile on your face.

It’s amazing how she always knows what to say to comfort you, remove your worries, and make you smile.  

10. She is your person.

She’s your best friend. She’s the one you think of first when you need a crying shoulder, a wise piece of advice, a comforting hug, or just someone to share jokes and laugh with all day long.

She’s known you all your life and she knows everything about you. Therefore, the bond between you is so strong and it can never be broken.

11. She still spoils you.

Regardless of your age, you’ll always be her little baby. She still showers you with kisses and compliments like she did when you were a kid. And when she comes to visit you, she never comes empty-handed. She makes every day feel like it’s your birthday.

12. She loves you wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

Regardless of whether she has children or not or how close she is to your parents, she loves you selflessly and with all her heart. She loves you for who you are. She knows all your annoying habits, quirks, whims, and insecurities and she’s seen you at your worst, and she loves and appreciates you as such.

Aunts are like second moms and I believe I don’t need to explain what a special place daughters and sons occupy in their mom’s heart.

Just because I am a low-maintenance girl who is super chill and cool and doesn’t demand a lot of things, that doesn’t mean you can behave whatever way you want. Just because I don’t make drama, it doesn’t mean I’m blind to someone’s bad behavior or that I’ll let someone disrespect me.

Just because I’m the type of girl to whom things like frequent mood swings, mind games, and drama are only abstract terms, it doesn’t mean I’ll let some guy out there to play with my feelings and manipulate me.

Just because I’m an easygoing type of person that doesn’t ask from my partner to commit all of his free time to me, it doesn’t mean I’ll let him take me for granted and pretend like I don’t exist.

Yes, I’m all those things, but if you’re not going to do these 9 things for me – consider me gone:

1. Make me a priority.

Just because I am not demanding and I don’t make drama, it doesn’t mean that I won’t care if I am last on your priority list. Of course, I’m not going to disrespect your boundaries and complain whenever you go out with your friends, but if I notice that you don’t bother to make time for me and that you neglect my feelings, needs, and wishes, I am gone – you can take my word for it.

2. Always be consistent.

Yes, I’m a super chill and cool person, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with your immature, fickle behavior. I expect you to be a man of high integrity and keep your promises. Otherwise, you’ll never gain my trust.

Oh, and yeah, things like leaving me to wait for hours for you to respond to my messages and calls or being affectionate only when you’re in the mood are out of the question.

3. Respect me.

If you think that I’m going to stick around just because you treat me with utmost respect and kindness in front of your friends and family, you need a reality check. I want you to respect my feelings, needs, decisions, and choices. I want you to respect my opinions no matter how different they are from yours.

I want you to treat me with kindness, compassion, lots of love, and dignity. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

4. Support me.

I may be used to dealing with my problems on my own, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to need you to be there for me when times get tough for me.

I want you to be my greatest help. My best friend. My cheerleader. My most loyal fan. I want you to stay by my side when life sends me difficult challenges, obstacles, and problems. I want you to stay with me through thick and thin.

5. Be honest about your intentions.

I need to know that we’re both headed in the same direction. I need to know that you feel about me the same way I feel about you.

I am not the type of girl who would pressure you to commit or do things you don’t want to do. But, I’m also not the type of girl who would be with someone who wants to keep the relationship casual even though he knows I’m looking for a serious relationship.

6. Include me in your future plans.

If you can’t imagine your future with me, then what’s the point of being together? If you don’t include me in your future plans and let me know that you can’t imagine your future without me being a part of it, know that I’m not going to stay with you and patiently wait for you to dump me.

7. Respect my loved ones.

Even if you don’t like some cousin or friend of mine, I expect you to respect them. Because if you talk bad things about them or get in angry arguments with them whenever you meet them, or, let alone, try to poison my mind against them, you’ll leave me with no other choice but to conclude that you don’t respect me either.

8. Take care of yourself.

Just because I don’t feel the need to get supremely decked for work, parties, or wherever, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about the way I look or the image I create of myself in society. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I’ll be fine if you don’t care about the way you look.

Taking care of yourself shows self-respect. So, if you arrive at dates looking like your clothes have been just taken out of the washing machine and like you haven’t shaved your beard in months, not only will this show that you lack self-respect but it’ll make me lose interest in you very fast.

9. Show me your love.

If I am not sure in your love for me, there’s no way I’m going to stick around. I want you to show me that we’re on the same page. That you love and care about me as much as I love and care about you. And I want you to show that not only through your words but actions as well.

Showing interest in the things I like, doing those little things that seem unimportant but actually make me feel loved and happy,  listening to me when I complain about things, and remembering little details about me, like remembering that I always drink my coffee with milk, are all important.