If you’ve heard the word ‘empathy’ popping out here and there, it’s no coincidence. It seems that more and more people are naturally unlocking their empathetic abilities as time goes by.

What is empathy? Empathy is the ability to feel what the other person is feeling, and recognize and accept that feeling. It’s the ability to step into their shoes and walk a mile, thus drawing conclusions on why they behave and feel the way they do.

Empathetic people understand that no two minds are the same, and that there’s no set pattern on how emotions can be triggered, but that they are there in every situation. And if you thought that these people are meek and vulnerable, you will be surprised to find that they are much more courageous than many.

While empathy was just part of common talk, now even science has started delving deep into its properties and its validity, discovering more as they dive deeper. In fact, neuroscientists have discovered a specific part of the brain responsible for empathy.

The supramarginal gyrus is a region of the brain which, when functioning properly, serves to help the person to distinguish their own emotional state from that of other people, and it’s responsible for empathy and compassion.

While empathy is at its peak during childhood, it doesn’t stop evolving as we grow up. In fact, we can nurture it and use it to transform our lives in a very positive direction. Empathy helps you to gain a better understanding of the world around you, and it opens up a whole new dimension of thinking.

To learn how to nurture this gift, looking at what makes an empathetic person is crucial.

Here are 6 habits that highly empathetic people have in common:

1. Cultivating curiosity about others

Highly empathetic people have this insatiable curiosity about others. You will notice a highly empathetic person talking to a complete stranger sitting next to them on the bus, or at any random place for that matter.

They have stuck to the natural inquisitiveness we all had as children. Not really examining others, but rather being the interested inquirers, these people have managed to resist society’s idea that curiosity is unnecessary when all the answers have already been found.

In fact, when you get to talk to someone you don’t know, you’ll see that every person is a completely new universe to discover, and that the beauty of it all is that you get to discover it first-hand.

The purpose of getting to meet others outside your ‘world’ is to expand your potentials as a human being, socially speaking. It offers a gateway of new worldviews and opinions that may challenge some outdated attitudes that may be lurking beyond your awareness.

Not only does curiosity expand our empathy, it also offers a cure to the chronic loneliness which affects one in three Americans.

2. Challenging prejudices and discovering commonalities

Prejudices are the worst obstacle that there can be when it comes to embracing your empathetic ability. And really, is there so much to prejudice as you may think there is? Behind the label you are to put on a person lies an individual with lots of qualities.

Prejudices are natural for every mind. However, highly empathetic people like to challenge theirs, by looking into what they share in common with people rather than what divides them.

Differences make us unique, and commonalities bring us closer together. And this knowledge is something highly empathetic people cherish with all their heart. This way not only do they come closer to people, but also learn of new values that make them bigger than they were.

The key is understanding that prejudices are just a mindset that has nothing to do with the actual person they are targeted against. Whatever their behavior, and no matter how much they seem to fit into the frame, the empathetic person will recognize how they got there and what lies at the core of their nature, which is beautiful.

3. Trying other people’s lives

If you thought that ice climbing and hand gliding are extreme sports, then you should try experiential empathy. You may have not met this term before, but you certainly have heard of great people who have done this.

One such example is George Orwell, who, after several years of being a colonial police officer in British Burma, decided to see what life looked like living on the social margins. For that, he dressed up as a tramp and went to live on the streets of East London.

His life with beggars and vagabonds opened up a whole new window of understanding he was never aware of. Not only did he realize that homeless people are not “drunken scoundrels”, but he even made new friends and wrote a book about it – Down and Out in Paris and London.

His experience showed him that empathy doesn’t only make you good – it’s good for you as well. Do you know people who like to try out different kinds of lifestyles?

Highly empathetic people often consider and practice this kind of life. You might notice them sneaking into services from different religions, just for the experience; travelling to underdeveloped countries and spending time there, living the lifestyle of the people there; doing things that don’t really ‘fit’ into their lifestyle; you name it.

These experiences are the best way to learn about others and understand something which was far from tangible.

4. Listening hard – and opening up

In conversations, highly empathetic people listen to more than just words. They are aware of what’s going on within, the feelings and the intensity of the thoughts that unfold, while the conversation flows.

They direct their complete attention and awareness to the process of communicating with the other person, to such an extent that they understand the underlying processes, the emotions, and the needs that created the communication in the first place.

And they don’t stop there, as listening is never enough. Highly empathetic people like to open up, and reveal their vulnerabilities. In order to create this strong empathetic bond, it’s crucial to open up completely to the person you’re talking to.

This kind of openness and awareness is what allows empaths to truly connect to others and achieve an honest and a worthwhile communication with others. This way, they not only allow others to feel completely free to express themselves, but they also allow themselves to be completely honest toward themselves in the first place.

5. Inspiring mass action and social change

Only through empathy can great changes be made. And highly empathetic people tend to inspire others to be as empathetic and follow their footsteps. Empathy can affect the masses and create movements like no other thing can.

You will see empathetic people marching forward to help the downtrodden and marginalized fight their way against the current of prejudice and exploitation. Empathetic people choose to stand on the side of those feeling unjustly singled out and mistreated.

It’s because they understand their struggle and the devastating emotions that they endure because of those who couldn’t care less. And empathy is contagious. Soon, many people join the fight and together change the world for the better.

6. Developing an ambitious imagination

Empathizing with the ‘usual suspects’, i.e. the marginalized, those who are suffering, is what many would naturally do. But how often have you considered the emotional states of those who have caused the turmoil?

Highly empathetic people understand that empathy should be universal and should be directed toward everyone, no matter their status. This includes the adversaries too. They are people too, although misled by far, but with feelings and struggles.

In fact, the empathetic person will understand that no evil comes by free choice, and that at the core is a vulnerable individual who doesn’t know how to do better. This way of empathizing is a way of developing social tolerance that can lead to profound changes.

A beautiful example is Gandhi’s way of handling the conflicting emotions regarding the conflicts between the Hindus and Muslims, declaring “Yes I am, I am also a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist, and a Jew.”

As Roman Krznaric says, the 20^th century was the age of introspection, where the best way to understanding ourselves was through looking inside ourselves. The 21^st century should become the age of outrospection – the age of empathy.

Feature image by David Curtis

Do you like baking for others? If you do, then you know that anything is a good excuse to whip up something nice today and toss it in the oven. Birthday cakes, brownies, muffins, pastries, and delicious sweets you accidentally discovered while daydreaming.

After reading this, you will have one more good excuse to bake something delicious that will be a treat for the eyes and the taste buds of those who happen to be lucky to be around. It turns out that there’s a lot more to baking than just spoiling the taste buds of those you love.

Perhaps you have already felt these benefits, but how aware are you that baking is a way to fight depression and stress? In an interview with HuffPost, psychologists explain three surprising things about the psychology behind baking for others.

Baking as a form of self-expression and communication

Communicating good feelings, beautiful and happy thoughts, and expressing your creativity, are the key to getting away from negative thoughts and stress.

Baking is all about these things. It allows people to express themselves creatively, and as Pincus explains, creative expression is closely connected to the overall wellbeing. Indeed, all forms of creative expression are a means of stress relief, and much more.

Baking is a form of communicating one’s feelings when words aren’t nearly enough. Whether it’s showing appreciation, thanks, or expressing your feelings, if you are short on words, Susan Whitbourne, professor of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts, suggests that baking can help.

Julie Ohana, a licensed medical social worker and culinary art therapist, suggests the same, noting that many cultures indeed see food as an expression of love. Food is something everybody can relate to, and enjoy – especially when it’s made with the secret ingredient (love).

Baking as a form of mindfulness

Being here and now is essential to happiness and a stress-free day, among other things. Baking takes all of your senses to here and now.

The whole process of measuring, adding the needed ingredients in the right order, rolling out the dough, tasting and smelling, or in short, as Pincus puts it, “being present with what you’re creating,” is a form of mindfulness which leads to stress reduction.

It’s no wonder that cooking is used as therapy. This type of therapy known as behavioral activation is what Julie Ohana is using to help people out. As she puts it, baking does not only involve the step-by-step thinking and “following the specifics of here and now”, but it also involves looking at the broader picture.

This means that when you bake, you also think of the recipe and the dish as a whole, what purpose it’s going to serve, who you are going to share it with and when. It means that while baking, you manage to achieve the balance of the moment and how it fits in the bigger picture.

This kind of state, the mindfulness you are involved in, can eliminate the presence of sad thoughts and ruminating over them, or any other thoughts for that matter. The process of baking activates many positive psychological aspects.

For one, the productive process prevents you from ruminating over your thoughts, and rumination is the gateway to depression and sad thoughts; to spice things up, the result from baking gives you a tangible reward, which others will benefit from as well.

Baking as a form of altruism

Baking for others is in its core the act of giving. If the process itself contributes to the wonderful effects of mindfulness, and thus overall wellbeing, the reward is even greater when it’s combined with giving.

Pincus notes that not only does baking increase your wellbeing, but it also connects you with other people and gives you the pleasurable meaning in life of doing something good for the world. Creating something nice for others is in the essence a form of altruism.

Indeed, you sacrifice your time and attention to make others feel happy and satisfied, which is a selfless act. This happens when you bake not for the purpose of seeking attention or out-doing others, but when you share with people who you believe will appreciate it.

Of course, baking should be a pleasurable activity for whoever’s doing it. Otherwise, it will more or less lose its charm. Ohana notes: If baking stresses you out, it’s not something you should do. De-stressing is meant to be one of the benefits of baking.

SHARING IS CARING!

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We previously discussed about the positive link between intelligence and anxiety, and it’s truly remarkable that the higher the anxiety, the higher the intelligence of the person is. However, what does this mean for the anxious mind?

Science has been exploring anxiety ever since it was first recognized as a disorder, and their conclusions are mind-blowing.

The fact is that anxious people possess so many traits that others can only wish for, and this gift comes with а price, which is the burden of not being able to cope with anxiety so easily.

For example, did you know that the high level of intelligence that anxious people possess is what creates the troubles in their mind in the first place?

Here are 11 surprising characteristics that anxious people possess:

1. Sentinel intelligence

Sentinel-related schema are specific cognitive patterns that allow a person to be among the first to detect the presence of a threat. Anxious people possess this ability, and can be real life-savers in such situations.

An example of this intelligence is what a study has shown: anxious people were able to detect the smell of smoke far before anyone else could. This only shows how their hyper sensitivity to threats is more than real. However, it can backfire very easily.

2. Hyper self-awareness

The fact is that socially anxious people are extremely self-aware. They always watch and control their every move and word, and they are extremely concerned with how their actions could affect those around them.

While this is a positive thing, the problem comes when these people are put at the center of attention. The increased responsibility they feel at that moment can be exhausting and even debilitating, making them want to run away.

3. Powerful mental processors

The anxious mind is a powerful logical processor. That’s why these people tend to ruminate over just about everything. The anxious mind will be looking at one thing from multiple angles, while expanding the picture to the very ends.

A study has found that anxious people indeed possess this ability to overthink situations, by looking at them from many angles and rationalizing them to a degree of utter madness. The problem is that all of this thinking eventually wears them down.

4. High verbal intelligence

Anxious people possess an increased ability to perform analyses and solve problems through language-based reasoning. This language-based reasoning involves reading, writing, listening to words, conversing, and even thinking.

In other words, anxious people possess an increased verbal intelligence. This was confirmed by the same study mentioned above, and it is the underlying reason for their excessive thinking.

5. Mind reading

No matter what you want to show on the outside, anxious people will sniff out your true state of mind and will know what you’re thinking or feeling. Although not mind readers in the literal sense, anxious people have a heightened awareness of other people’s state of mind.

A study showed that anxious people exhibited an increased ability to recognize the cognitive patterns in others, as well as their affective mental state. In other words, they knew what the other person was thinking and feeling.

6. Empathy

Being able to tell what another person is thinking and feeling has got to do a lot with their powerful logical processors. However, anxious people have been noticed to pick up on other people’s emotional states even without analyzing.

Their empathetic ability is what makes them adopt other people’s problems as their own in many cases; and it is the same ability which makes them experience a great influx of emotions when surrounded by a large group of people.

7. Down board thinking

Anxious people are masters of down board thinking. They can always predict a few moves ahead, especially in social situations. Their high and quick analytical skills allow them to follow the natural pattern of how things unfold.

Don’t be puzzled if an anxious person ends your sentences, or gets embarrassed before anyone else about an incoming faux pas.

8. Special bonds

People with social anxiety tend to bond quickly with those with anxiety levels similar to theirs. These friendships form quickly and last for long. They possess the ability to sense and understand people’s minds, so it’s not hard for them to notice someone who is thinking similarly – and it’s mutual.

It’s not that they can’t make friends with others, but a study concluded that the intensity and the rapidity of bonding is increased by far when it comes to those with similar levels of social anxiety.

9. Empirical conclusions

Their intelligence is unquestionable, so it’s natural to conclude that anxious people base many of their conclusions on empirical evidence. If their stress is showing, that doesn’t make them naïve.

In fact, these people know that history can repeat itself, so they tend to stay away from situations that have caused them to feel negative and stressed out.

10. Intense sense of reality

Anxious people are not able to dilute the reality they perceive by choosing what to perceive and what to ignore. This keen sense of reality is a result of their constant ‘what if’ tasks in their minds.

While many people tend to ignore many of the possibilities that reality can bring, anxious people are unable to turn a blind eye to the same. This is their gift and curse at the same time.

11. Piercing perception

Anxious people are able to pierce many of the veils of illusion that others tend to accept and enjoy. Be it an underlying intent, or an effort to hide something from plain sight, the anxious person will always get to the root of it and discover its true nature.

This is what makes them feel pessimistic about their future, especially with the distorted world we live in today. Being aware of how sinister people can be over insignificant things is what eventually pushes them into isolation and depression.

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