True love is free-flowing, pure, wild, untamed, unconditional and limitless. It doesn’t have any shape. It cannot be broken. And it exists independently on its own. It is not based on attachment. It is based on mutual understanding, compromise and trust.

The only thing that destroys it and eventually kills it, is attachment. Yup, you read it right. Attachment is the death of true, unconditional love.

Attachment is the nasty villain that comes in and sweeps everything away. And you know that. Deep down, all of you know it. The thing is, you are just too afraid to admit it.

You see, most of you may say that you unconditionally love someone, but if you are someone who behaves co-dependently and cannot spend a day without your partner beside you (or in other words, you cannot live your life without them),  I have news for you. That is not unconditional love. In fact, that is the opposite of unconditional love. It is called codependency.

Codependency is easily mistaken for real, unconditional love. Those fiery, can’t-live-without-each-other feelings are often misinterpreted and most of the people often think that they’ve found real love. When in reality, they’ve actually put themselves into a dangerous cage.

Well, let’s make things clearer, shall we?

This is how you love purely, unconditionally and free of any kind of attachment:

1. You love without boundary. When you truly love someone, your love should know no boundary. If you say that you are truly in love with someone, you should be able to love them passionately and from the bottom of your heart. Without any fear that your heart might get broken again.

Having said that, attachment is what makes us absolutely addicted to a person. It is what makes us fear for our life without them. As a result of being attached, we forget about ourselves. We forget that real love has no end and it exists freely on its own.

2. You have a huge sense of happiness and freedom. More importantly, you feel like you can be yourself. When you truly love another human being, everything feels just right. There is no pressure, no fear of being rejected and no doubts. This is a sign that you love someone unconditionally and free of attachment.

3. You fully accept your partner as they are. This goes without a saying. The definition of unconditional love is acceptance of imperfection. Loving someone purely and without attachment means loving them for who they truly are. A flawed, peculiar, imperfect human being who’ve done many mistakes in life. This kind of love liberates, whereas love based on attachment entraps.

It is truly important for you to be able to make a difference between these two. Because if you are being controlled and criticized by your partner, you shouldn’t convince yourself that they love you. You should know that this person cannot love you the right way.

Unconditional love doesn’t allow you to go down the road to attachment. It simply teaches you to love without boundaries.

When it comes to men and the way they behave in relationships, there’s a general misconception that it’s very hard to figure out their feelings and whether they’re serious about you because they’re not usually vocal about their feelings.

But, as I said – this is just a misconception. Because the truth is that when it comes to expressing their feelings, men are not complicated at all. When a man falls deeply in love, his actions speak louder than his words.

When a man falls for you hard, his feelings make him act in certain ways. He doesn’t have to tell you, “I love you” five times a day for you to understand that he’s crazy about you.

Because all of a sudden, the look in his eyes and the warmth of his touch say more than his words ever could. All of a sudden, the energy that he radiates when he’s around you reveals that you occupy a special place in his heart.

So, if you find yourself wondering whether your man is in love with you, here are 10 sure signs that he is so into you:

1. He spends the majority of his free time with you.

You know a guy is so into you when he goes out of his way to rearrange his schedule so that he can spend more time with you.

When a man is madly in love with you, he can never get tired of you. Instead, he enjoys being around you. And it doesn’t matter if he has to cancel plans with his buddies over text to hang out with you – it is the precious time he spends with you that means the most to him.

2. He treats you like a lady.

He treats you with kindness and compassion. He treats you with respect and dignity. He showers you with affection, sweet words, and compliments. He doesn’t wait for your birthday to come to buy you flowers or your favorite box of chocolates. He holds the door open for you. He simply acts like a real gentleman around you.

3. He constantly talks about you to his family and friends.

You know how you can’t shut up about him to your besties? Well, guess what? Men talk to their pals too.

You may think that guys are reserved and cold when it comes to expressing their emotions, but the truth is that when a man is dearly in love with you, he won’t shut up about you to his family and buddies.

4. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

He is not ashamed to show how he feels about you. He’s not afraid to tell you those three powerful words, I love you. Because he knows that you two are destined to be together. He knows you two are meant for each other.

And knowing that God, faith, the universe, or you name it, brought you two together helps him wear his heart on his sleeve and undress his soul in front of you.

5. He fully commits to you.

When a man is deeply and madly in love with you, he doesn’t hesitate to fully commit to you. He imagines you as a part of his future. He lets you know that you mean the world to him and that he’s ready to devote his entire life to loving you and making you happy.

6. He notices every little thing about you.

When a guy is head over heels in love with you, he notices things about you that others fail to see. He notices the way you move your lips when you smile. He notices the way you tie up your hair in a ponytail.

He notices all those parts of your character that you desperately want other people to notice and embrace. Because this man loves every little thing about you, including your weaknesses and imperfections.

7. Your happiness means the world to him.

He doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his needs and desires for your happiness. He is not afraid to leave his comfort zone and do things he’s never done before if he knows that this will contribute to your happiness in some way.

You can see that your happiness matters the most to him in the way he looks at you and comforts you when you’re feeling down in the dumps. You can see this in the things he does for you when you’re going through a rough time in life. You can see this in the way he boosts your confidence when you’re feeling weak and doubting your worth.

8. He is proud of you.

When a man is honestly and wholeheartedly in love with you, he feels proud of you. He’s proud of everything you are and everything you do. He enjoys talking about you to his friends and family and telling them how blessed he is for having such a beautiful, smart, and amazing person as you are in his life.

9. You’re the one he calls first whenever something important happens to him.

Because you mean the world to him. Because he’s more than pleased to share his interests, goals, achievements, successes, as well as problems with you. Because he wants to share his life with you.

10. Other women don’t interest him.

When a man is genuinely in love with you, he only has eyes for you. He doesn’t flirt with other women, nor does he notice when other women hit on him. Because in his heart, there’s a place for only one woman –you.   

This goes to you – the woman whose heart has been broken many times.

Trust me – I know how you feel. I know you’re still trying to erase the trace his kisses left on your lips. You’re still trying to erase him from your memory and your heart.

I know you still hope that time will soon erase every wound he inflicted on your soul.

I know you still think about him. You still dream of him. You still try to figure out whether all of it was your fault or his.

You still wonder why he couldn’t see you in his future, why he didn’t love you, why it was you whose heart he had to steal, why you weren’t good enough for him. Hundreds of whys hover over your head. Hundreds of questions keep you awake at night.

But, let me tell you the truth: He never saw you in his future. He never imagined himself standing at the altar next to you. He never imagined growing old beside you. Why?

No, it was not because you weren’t good enough for him, pretty enough for him, or smart enough for him. It was because he wasn’t worthy of your love. He wasn’t worthy of your attention.

He didn’t deserve you.

He didn’t deserve your trust. Your patience. Your kindness. Your compassion. Your empathetic soul. Your efforts.

Therefore, instead of wallowing in self-pity and reviving memories of someone who wasn’t worthy of your love, let this be a valuable lesson to you. Let this teach you that you should never settle for fickle, immature, manipulative, selfish men. Let this teach you that you shouldn’t settle for just any man, but rather wait for the man that imagines his future with you.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the one who chooses you every day. The one who goes out of his way to put a smile on your face. The one who feels the happiest when you’re happy. The one who is not afraid to make compromises and sacrifice his needs and desires for your happiness. Someone who enjoys waking up next to you.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the man who loves you with every part of him. The man who loves you honestly. Selflessly. Deeply. Wholeheartedly. Passionately. Unconditionally. The man who keeps you in his heart no matter where he is and what he is doing. The man who only has eyes for you. The man whom you mean the world to.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the man who accepts you and cherishes you for who you are. The man who knows all your annoying habits, vulnerable sides, insecurities, and fears, but who also knows that your weaknesses and imperfections don’t define who you are. He knows that they’re just a small part of you – a part that makes you different and more interesting and beautiful than other women.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the one who doesn’t leave at the first sign of trouble. The one who doesn’t walk away when the first worries and problems begin to appear in your relationship. The one who is not afraid to work through your relationship problems together with you. The one who is willing to invest time and energy in your relationship.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the one who wants to keep you in his life forever. The one who is not afraid to walk through fire or fight monsters if that’s what he needs to do to keep you by his side forever. The one whose only fear is losing you.

Don’t settle for just any man – settle for the one who gets excited about spending the rest of his life with you. The one who wants to fall asleep and wake up next to you until the rest of his life. The one who craves your presence. The one who craves your touch, the warmth of your lips, and your smell. The one who wants you in his life now. Tomorrow. Forever.

If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing. Timing. But timing’s a bitch.

We’ve all heard this saying and we’ve all related to it at some point in our life.

Personally, I have always genuinely believed that the only reason for my failed relationships is bad timing. For a long time in my life, I was convinced that bad timing is the main villain in my life. I didn’t know any better.

You cannot imagine how much time I’ve spent cursing timing in my life… Until one-day reality hit me. Until one day I realized that I’ve been lying to myself all along.

Until one day I said to myself… “Maybe timing has nothing to do with my mistakes. Maybe I am the one who is to blame”

The truth is, timing will always be messy. Timing will always be fickle and inconsistent. It is out of our control. How could someone ever think that there is good timing in life?

There is no good or bad timing. It took me a lot of time, a lot of heartbreaks and many broken promises to finally understand that timing has nothing to do with it. My choices do.

I suffered a lot; I blamed my destiny and life itself for my bad, failed relationships and disappointing experiences in life for a long time. But now I get it. There is no such thing as a perfect moment in life. There is no such thing as “the right time” to do something, meet someone, enter a relationship etc.

There are only right or wrong people. Meeting them or being with them is a direct result of your own choices. Bad or good, you are the only one responsible for them.

If a person wants to be with you, and I mean truly be with you, they will. If someone wants to give their love to you and let you inside their world, they won’t hesitate even a minute. They will be ready. It is as simple as that. Trust me. When love is real, there is nothing that can prevent it from happening. When love is pure, there is no bad timing. Every moment is right. Every moment is perfect.

I needed a lot of time to process this, but I am glad I finally did. This has been one of the greatest lessons that life has ever given me. And I am lucky for that.

So, now it’s your turn.

Stop what you are doing and think about your life for a second. Who do you think it’s responsible for most of your failed relationships and disappointments? The timing? Your fate? Life, itself?

It is you, my dear. Your choices shape up your life and eventually, your future. It’s all you. The sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.

Falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same…

Love doesn’t happen when you want it to happen. Sometimes love happens when you least expect it. And sometimes it chooses the worst possible person for you. It makes you fall for someone who cannot love you the same way that you love them.

And you do. You fall head over heels with this person even though there are flashing, red signs everywhere around you telling you that what you are doing is wrong. You let our emotions consume you and you no longer see anything other than that person. They become your entire world. The air that you breathe. The food that you eat. The sweetest, most addictive drug that you’ve ever tried.

You know that you will never be together the way you want to be. The way you’ve prayed for your whole life to be with someone. But you cannot stop your heart from feeling what it feels. You simply cannot tell your heart who to love. You are not strong enough to make the right choice because the love that you feel overpowers your mind.

You thought you are stronger than this but turned out… you aren’t. So, you are out there all alone, pitying yourself. Trying hard to let go of those feelings. Crying your soul out over the fact that you two are not destined to be together. Hating your guts forever falling in love with him.

People are looking at you with despise. They are judging you for being so naïve.

BUT, refuse to be one of them. Maybe it’s because I’ve already been through the same pain that you are experiencing. Maybe because I am not quick to judge. Especially not people with sadness in their eyes.

Because only you know how it feels. And only you know what you are going through.

It is okay to love someone who doesn’t feel the same way as you. It is fine to leave an open window of hope in case they ever change their mind. As long as you are ready to accept the consequences if they decide they want to leave you.

So, love them if that is what your heart wants. It’s okay. Don’t listen to what people have to say. It’s your life and your choice.

But just know that you can never force them to do anything against their will. Know that you might wake up tomorrow and realize that they’ve given up on you. Know that one day they may break your heart in a thousand pieces. Most importantly, know that if it ever comes to that, you are the only one who can get yourself out of that mess.