You have sadness in your eyes, yet you choose to hide it with your surprisingly radiant smile. You have sorrow in your soul, yet you somehow choose to shine with your heart.

You are strong. You’ve been through hell, but somehow you are holding on just fine. I have no idea where you get your strength from, but I just want you to know that it is fine to break down if you feel like it.

I know that you’d never show your weakness, but still. I need you to understand that there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable. You are a human being with a beating heart between your chest. Don’t be afraid to allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are going through.

Here are 10 signs that you are hurting but you are desperately trying to hide that from everyone:

1. You try to be as busy as you can. Whether it is work or a new hobby, you always do your best to stay distracted from your pain.

2. You gladly focus on solving other people’s problems than your own. You avoid getting into your personal issues, because every time you do it, it gets very messy. As a result, instead of solving your own problems, you gladly solve other people’s issues. You know that this is not helping you, but you are too afraid to face your demons.

3. You drown yourself in music. Your music is your safe place. There are a few songs that you can relate to and listening to them sets your mind free. It almost feels like the author knows exactly what you are going through. That is your only escape.  

4. You avoid having eye contact with certain people. Those are the ones who know exactly how your heart beats. Those are the ones who can see through your soul and feel the pain inside of you.

5. You barely say no to people. You are always available to hang out with people or lend them a helping hand. Your answer is always yes. The more you do other stuff, the less you will have to think about your problems.

6. You are not honest when people ask you how you are feeling. You are always smiling and saying that you are fine. But deep down you are not. The smile on your face may convince everyone that you are happy, but that doesn’t change the fact that your heart is full of sorrow.

7. You fall apart every time you are on your own. That is when all the masks fall down. That is when your shield is down. That is when you are the real you. And that is the only moment when you can truly be yourself.

8. You are constantly overthinking everything. Even though you know that dwelling on the past and regretting your choice won’t change a thing, you still do it. Your mind is full of harmful thoughts and you can’t seem to stop them.

9. You indulge in vices to get your mind off your pain. You go out, drink until you no longer feel a thing. You go to bed in the morning. You get up late at night. You are basically trying everything that will help you get your mind off your pain.

This is no way to help yourself. You are only repressing your emotions.

10. You think making jokes on your account in front of others will alleviate your pain. And it seems like it really does the trick. But most of the time you end up even more depressed. That is because you are not working on yourself.

We’ve been raised to believe that ‘selfish’ is a really bad word. Our whole life, we’ve been told that selfish people only care about themselves and no one else. And, I’ll admit it, this may be true. But only up to a point.

I’ve met and unfortunately been friends with selfish people. Those were people that never ever cared about anyone else but themselves.

But thinking back, it is clear that some of those people weren’t selfish because they were cruel and wanted to harm me. They were selfish because they respected themselves and their own choices. They were selfish because they knew how important self-care is. They were selfish because they knew that they are the only ones that they can rely on. They were selfish because they needed to protect themselves.

That is the same person I need you to be.

I know it’s hard to not overthink what others would think or say about you. I’ve been through that more than many times. I’ve spent days wondering whether someone will get mad at me for making a different decision. A decision that does not include them in my plans.

I’ve spent hours beating myself up for saying NO. For cutting off people that never deserved to be a part of my life. For calling people out on their rude and inconsiderate behavior. Until one day, I snapped. I stopped tolerating bulls*it and decided to focus on myself. Regardless of how selfish that makes me in the eyes of everyone.

That is why I want you to help you become that person.

Your life is your own unique journey. No one and nothing should stand in the way of the things that make your heart smile.

You are the only person who decides whether you will call your friend for a coffee or you will go out for a coffee on your own. You are the only person who decides whether you will go out wearing baggy mom jeans and a huge sweatshirt or a cute feminine dress. You are the only one who decides whether you will settle for a man because he makes you feel comfortable or you will wait for someone who makes your soul sing.

You are the only person who decides whether you will devote your life on making yourself happy or you will keep satisfying everyone’s needs.

So, I say… Don’t be afraid. I know it takes big balls to do that, but what are you waiting for? Grow them already!

Don’t be afraid to be selfish when it comes to your own life and your own happiness.

No one will ever care enough to make you happy if you don’t do it yourself. There’s no Prince Charming, no knight on a white horse coming to save you. It’s only you. You are the one who is supposed to save yourself. So, start doing that.

Life is an amazing, adventurous ride, but it is too damn short. Make it worth your while.

Joe Potocny may look like the usual family guy who has it all figured out, but his life story is not that bright. He is a man who has been living with Alzheimer’s for more than 15 years. His diagnosis was confirmed in 2004. And that is when the weird symptoms began.

He spent his life as a developer of computer systems. His brain would soak up everything. But then something inside of him shifted.

A few years after his initial diagnosis, he got a positive PET scan that confirmed frontotemporal lobe dementia (FTD). And all of a sudden, he could no longer function the way he once did.

That is why he retired at the age of 50.

However, it seemed like nothing could stop this man from enjoying his life.

Even though he was diagnosed with Depressed Distracted Stressed Syndrome” (DDSS), a diagnosis he coined after doctors diagnosed and then prescribed treatment first for depression; next, distraction and then stress, before finally realizing he had early/younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease, he never gave up on life.

Today, Joe has 5 children aged from 29 to 42 and he owns a blog where he writes informative articles and raises awareness about his peculiar conditions. He has also been a part of an HBO documentary called “The Alzheimer’s Project.”  Surprisingly, out of 7 people who were featured in the documentary, he is the only one who survived. Truly inspiring.

Additionally, this man has also published a book ( “Living with Alzheimer’s: A Conversation If You Will”) with stories from his everyday life. But there is one in particular that really brought tears in my eyes. This honest and heartbreaking essay perfectly depicts Joe’s everyday life. If you are someone who struggles with this condition, I hope that these words will comfort you in some way.

I know that it’s truly hard to live like this, but I want you to know that you are not alone.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills
back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the
can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day,
and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail….

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

Source: Blog / “Living with Alzheimer’s: A Conversation If You Will”