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5 Simple And Effective Ways To Beat Insomnia Forever, According To Scientists

Are you struggling to fall and stay asleep at night? Do you sometimes feel like you might never sleep again? Well, if you answered yes to both questions, chances are you suffer from insomnia.

People who suffer from this condition have difficulty falling asleep and even if they manage to do so, they often wake up during the night and have a hard time going back to sleep.  As a result, they feel exhausted the next day.

We need to get 8 hours of sleep per night so as to function at our highest level. Yet, unfortunately, most of us get less than 8-hour sleep and this negatively affects our productivity and mood.

There’re different factors which prevent us from getting the good night’s sleep we need so as to have a positive and productive day, such as unhealthy sleep habits, stress, financial problems or problems at home, medical conditions, and certain medications.

If you’re suffering from insomnia, then you already know how awful and debilitating this can be. And if you don’t do anything to cure it completely, it can have a detrimental effect on your health, relationships, and work. Fortunately, sleep scientists have found out 5 simple, effective ways to beat insomnia forever. (And these don’t include taking any medications).

Here they are:

1. Turn off your screens.

When it’s time to go to sleep, you instinctively reach for your tablet, phone, or the remote control. You scroll through your phone or playing games on it so as to fall asleep faster. Yet, what you don’t know is that such electronic devices actually prevent you from falling asleep.

Scientists have found out that the blue light which is emitted from phones and tablets interrupts the hormones our bodies produce which tell us it’s time to fall asleep. So, when you reach for any of these electronic devices, you’re, in fact, telling your body and brain it’s time to stay awake.

Neuroscientist Anne-Marie Chang explains why exposure to blue light before bedtime is bad for your sleep. She says that the blue light coming from electronic devices interrupts the body’s natural circadian rhythm (the processes that naturally occur in our bodies for a 24-hour period).

She says: “Participants reading an LE-eBook took longer to fall asleep and had reduced evening sleepiness, reduced melatonin secretion, later timing of their circadian clock and reduced next-morning alertness than when reading a printed book.”

So, make sure you turn off your screens half an hour prior going to sleep. You may also do an activity that will help you relax, such as practicing meditation or reading a book – but not online.

2. Don’t drink coffee, tea, or alcohol before bedtime.

If you want to get a good night’s sleep, make sure you stay away from these drinks before going to bed. Many people believe that drinking alcohol before bedtime helps you fall asleep, but this is wrong.

What the alcohol actually does is sedating your brain and preventing you from getting a good REM sleep, and not making it easier for you to fall asleep.

Dr. Matthew Walker says: “Alcohol is a class of drugs that we call, “the sedatives.” And what you’re doing is just knocking your brain out. You’re not putting it into a natural sleep.”

3. Go to bed at the same time every night.

You need to allow your body and brain to get the rest they need so as to function at your highest peak. Therefore, you need to have a consistent timing of going to bed and waking up. Pay attention to what time at night you usually feel tired and sleepy and make sure you always go to bed at that time.

By keeping to a schedule, you’ll be more alert and productive and feel more energetic the following day. Hey, and remember, this rule applies to weekends too. So, partying with friends until late at night should no longer be a part of your schedule, at least not until you get your body on the right track again.

4. Keep your bedroom cool.

Sleeping in a hot bedroom prevents you from falling asleep and getting a good night’s sleep. The best bedroom temperature is around 68̊ F or 18.5̊ C, and your brain and your body need to drop their core temperature by about two or three degrees Fahrenheit to initiate good sleep, says Dr. Walker.

5. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed.

If you can’t fall asleep, don’t lie in your bed worrying about it, but get up. Tossing and turning in bed won’t help you fall asleep.

Dr. Matthew Walker explains that the reason for this is that “Your brain very quickly starts to learn the association between your bed being about the place that you’re awake rather than your bed being about sleep.”

You might want to do an activity that you find relaxing. For example, you can listen to music, read a printed book, or practice meditation. After some time, go back to bed and try to fall asleep again.

Yet, whatever you choose to do, make sure you don’t reach for your phone, check your email, eat food, or turn on your computer. 

Why Modern Dating Is So Difficult For Those Of Us Who Are Looking For The Real Thing

Why is it so hard to find something real nowadays?

Has the world gone completely mad?

It seems that if you’re looking for someone to have fun, or in other words have a casual, one-night sex in a bathroom and get wasted until you’re no longer aware of your surroundings, then yes you can find a date. Plus, I assure you, it will be stress-free because remember, the rule is – No strings attached!

But, if you’re like me and those few other people who are struggling to survive this madness, then good luck on your journey. Finding something real in the 21st century is equal to finding a lost needle in a bag of hay.

Modern dating has officially destroyed our last hopes of finding something real.

I don’t even know where should I start.

Should I mention the lack of honesty among people, or should I start talking about how bitter and self-absorbed we all are?

Nothing is real anymore. If you want to get someone’s attention, you have to pretend like you don’t care about them. Revealing information or emotions too soon will probably sabotage your quest. Because God forbid you actually open up and really show your true colors to another human being. You do that – you’re immediately labeled as a needy and an overly-attached person.

Well, to hell with it. I will do whatever the hell I want. I will be emotionally whorey if I want to, but you won’t change who I am. Your twisted values won’t make me just another brick in the wall.

Don’t you feel like we’re doing something wrong here?

Instead of paying attention to the person next to us, we waste our time pointlessly scrolling through our Insta feed, writing angry Facebook statutes, and updating our profile pictures. Instead of asking someone out in person, we swipe right on Tinder. Instead of putting our best efforts to sort things out with the people we love, we find it easier to just give up. Instead of having an open conversation about our relationship status, we simply don’t reply for days. Instead of showing genuine interest, we show apathy.

So, tell me who is wrong here?

Is it us, the people who only wish to find a normal, decent human being capable of loving?

Or, is it our society, who have hurt and destroyed the last generations of people with true values?

I’m sick and tired of being told that I have to settle for someone just, so I don’t end up alone. I’m sick and tired of being forced to accept the reality. I’m sick and tired of pretending like this isn’t affecting me.

You won’t take away my faith. You won’t rob me of my dreams. I won’t let you destroy my hopes. And I simply won’t let you delete my emotions.

I may be stuck in the wrong century, but as long as I breathe and I live, I will never stop searching for something real!

8 Reasons Why Dating The Girl Who Is Used To Being Single Is So Challenging

Dating the girl who is used to being single will be unlike your past relationships. She’ll be like an enigma you’ll have to try really hard to solve. She’ll have the highest walls built up around her and you’ll have to put in a lot of effort and time to break them. Yet, once you figure out her personality, you’ll see that she was worth all the effort.

The girl who is used to being on her own is strong and confident. She doesn’t need to be in a relationship with someone so as to feel loved and worthy. She’s used to protecting and taking care of herself.  

This girl has built her own world – a world in which she’s alone, but she doesn’t feel lonely. A world in which being single is not something scary, depressing, or tragic. Instead, it’s her comfort zone. Her safe place.  

And letting another person into that world is going to be hard for her. There will be times when you might think that she’s not interested in you and that you’re just a burden to her. Yet, just because she’s independent and confident and she doesn’t depend on others for her happiness, it doesn’t mean that she’s unable to love. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you.

Winning this girl’s heart and dating her is going to be challenging for you, but one thing’s sure – she’ll be the best girl you can ever fall in love with and here’s why:

1. She has a strong sense of identity.

This girl knows who she is and what she wants in life, and she definitely knows what qualities she wants her partner to possess. She wants a man who will be independent and strong just like her and who will be able to keep up with her in every aspect of life.

She has firm opinions and moral principles and she’d never allow herself to be with someone who would disrespect these or try to change her. This girl knows very well what kind of person she could be most compatible with and get along with and what kind of person could win her heart.

2. She knows her priorities.

This girl has many things to achieve and missions to complete in life. She has goals, both personal and professional, and dreams to pursue. She has a list of priorities and love is definitely not on the top of the list.

So, don’t expect her to give up on and forget about her plans, goals, and passions when she falls in love with you and starts dating you. This girl is perfectly aware of her priorities and she knows where she’s headed in life, and she’ll never let anyone or anything prevent her from getting there.

 

3. She won’t settle for anything less than true, deep love.

This girl has been single for a long time since some guy out there took her for granted and didn’t know how to treat her right and appreciate her. Some guy out there treated her so badly that he made her feel like she’d be better off single than with somebody else.

That’s why she’d never settle for a mediocre love or one-sided relationship. She’d never settle for some jerk who can’t see her worth. She’d only settle for a man with whom she feels she’s deeply connected on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level. A man who will prove that he deserves her trust. A man with whom she’ll experience genuine, deep, soulmate kind of love.

4. She can’t stand playing little mind games.

She’s a mature and smart woman. Therefore, she’s looking for a man who will treat her as such.  She wants to be with someone who will always lay his cards on the table. Someone who will always be open about his feelings, opinions, and intentions with her.  Someone who will respect her and prove to her that he deserves her trust.

This girl doesn’t have time to play little, devious mind games. She’d never waste her time, energy and love on a dishonest, unfaithful man. That kind of bullsh*t is not for her. So, if you’re planning to lie to, manipulate, or let alone, cheat on her, don’t doubt she’ll show you the door before you even think about lying to her.

5. You might think she doesn’t need you.

Chances are you’ll often hear things like: I can handle it on my own. Or  I’m fine, I don’t need your help. But, this is normal. After all, she was single for a long time and she’s simply forgotten what it’s like to have somebody else next to her.

But, you need to remember that her intention is not to hurt you or make you feel weak and unimportant. Yes, she’s used to handling things on her own, but this doesn’t mean she’ll always be like that. You need to be patient with her and gradually she’ll become comfortable about relying on you.

6. She’s not afraid of being single.

Being single doesn’t make her feel lonely, afraid, or miserable. Instead, it makes her feel comfortable. It enables her to reflect on her feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, and goals and explore her opportunities. It enables her to reach the deepest parts of her soul and learn more things about herself.

By being on her own, she protects herself from manipulative, phony, toxic people. Being single gives her enough time to think about who deserves her trust and love and who doesn’t deserve to be a part of her life.

7. She won’t let you into her life right away.

It’ll take her time before she is able to trust you. It’ll take her a while before she lets you into her heart and feels comfortable enough to open up to you.

It’ll be hard for her to leave her comfort zone and start sharing her life with another person. But if she sees that you’re someone worthy of her attention and love, if she sees that you’re the person who has everything that she wants in her partner, she won’t hesitate to let you into her life. And once she does that, you’ll realize she was worth the wait.

8. You’ll have to offer her much better things than the life she’s created for herself.

If this girl chooses you, that will be because she wants you. She doesn’t need your money and she doesn’t need you to buy her expensive gifts or take her to fancy restaurants.

All that she wants is you. She wants your love and attention. She wants you to be there for her when she needs you and she wants to know she can always trust you.

This girl wants to know she didn’t make a mistake choosing you.

Sometimes The Ones Who Are Always There For Others Need Someone There For Them As Well

someone who is always there for you

Helping, compassion, kindness – those are all traits of unique, rare and incredible human beings. Empathy is a true blessing.

But, when you are the one who is always there for other people – you feel a lot. And those feelings are often intensified.

You feel people’s sorrows, their deepest fears, their insecurities, their traumas, their happiness, their love, their joy. Everything they carry inside their hearts. You have an ocean for a heart and you keep letting others drown their sorrows inside your depths.

And you do that because you care. You go out of your way to lend a helping hand, to be their shoulder for crying, to simply alleviate their pain.

But, you know that no matter how bulletproofs your soul may seem, deep inside of you, you ache. Behind that solid, indestructible exterior lies a fragile human being who constantly wonders if there will ever come a time when someone bothers to ask, “Are you fine?”

Deep inside of you, there’s a hope that one day you’ll find that person, that special someone who will let you find shelter inside their heart and take care of your troubled soul.

But, most of the times, that doesn’t happen. And when life disappoints you and robs you of your last remaining bit of hope, you accept it. Your soul hurts even more, but you find a way to cope with it. You find that strength within you and you heal yourself. You do everything in your power to pick up those broken pieces, put them back together and get on your feet. You convince yourself that you are stronger than you actually believe, and you don’t need anyone to hold your hand.

But, you’re wrong. Deep inside you crave the love. You need the support. Your heart burns with desire to feel someone’s hand on your cheek. You are desperate for help.

Because you are no different from the rest of the people. You like to believe that you don’t need anyone to pick you up and show you the right direction, but the truth is – Sometimes even the strongest people among us need guidance. Sometimes the ones who are always there for us need someone there for them as well.

I know that your heart is big, and your only wish is to make everyone happy. I know that you’re an amazing human being gifted with the most powerful ability to guide, inspire and help people. But, you cannot allow yourself to burnout for the sake of others.

You have to remind yourself that you have a heart that needs to love and feel loved in order to function. You need to remind yourself that you just like everyone else around you, need rest. You need to slow down, breathe in and pace yourself.

You have to understand that you’re not expected to carry the weight of the world on your own shoulders. The world is not yours to save. You cannot fix everything, and you simply cannot help every living being out there. You have to accept that, no matter how disanointing it sounds.

Remind yourself that you’re worthy of love and respect just like everyone else. Remind yourself that it is okay to ask for help and it is okay to let it all out. But, most importantly, remind yourself that it is okay to be vulnerable.

You are a human being after all.

The only person who can help you is yourself.

If you don’t bother to do it, nobody will.

Don’t Settle For The Best: Settle For The Person Who Will Treat You Just Like This

Don’t settle for the best.

Settle for the person who will make you feel complete. Whole. Alive. Settle for the person who will fill your heart with happiness and peace. The person who will make you feel that you no longer have to search for true love because it’ll be right there in front of you.

Settle for the person who will make your mornings bright and beautiful. The person who will enjoy waking up next to you. The person who will let you know that you’re the purpose of their life.

Settle for the person who won’t be afraid to commit to you. The person who will make you their choice every single day, not because they have to, but because they want to.

Settle for the person who won’t leave the moment the first problems start appearing in your relationship. The person who will be willing to resist every temptation and overcome every obstacle that comes your way.  The person who will let you know that they’re going to stay no matter what.

Settle for the person who will put you on the top of their priority list. The person who will never make you feel neglected or like you’re not important when they have a busy, hard day at work or when they’re going through tough times. Instead, they’ll do their best to make time for you and show that you matter to them.

Settle for the person who will enjoy spending time with you. The person to whom it won’t matter whether you spend Friday nights at home, eating pizza and watching your favorite movie on Netflix or out in a restaurant or club. The person to whom just being with you will be enough, irrespective of the place and time.

Settle for the person who won’t be perfect. Settle for the person who will have annoying habits, insecurities, and problems. The person who will carry the burden of their past mistakes and failures on their shoulders. The person who won’t meet your requirements for the ideal. 

Yet, they’ll be willing to work on and improve themselves. They’ll do their best to give up their bad habits and behaviors because they’ll want to become a better person for both you and themselves.

Settle for the person who will never make you doubt their honesty. The person who would never allow themselves to do something that could hurt your feelings or break your heart. The person who will prove that they’re worthy of your trust.

Settle for the person who will never make you doubt their love for you. The person who will let you know where you stand in their life and how much you mean to them because they’ll wear their heart on their sleeve.

They won’t feel afraid or ashamed to show you their vulnerabilities, or even shed a tear when you’re watching a sad movie together. Because they’ll feel comfortable to be themselves in your presence. And most importantly, they’ll make you feel the same way.

Settle for the person who will be aware of your worth. The person who will accept and appreciate you the way you are. They will know all your quirks, whims, irritating habits, and insecurities and they will have seen you at your worst, and yet, they’ll choose to stay.

They’ll stay by your side when you’re going through rough time. They’ll be there to give you their unconditional support and help when you need them. And when it’s not advice or support that you need, but just someone to listen to you and hug you, they’ll be there too.

This person will stay with you through thick and thin because you’ll be everything they’ve ever wanted. Because they’ll know your value. Because it’s not seeing your vulnerable and darkest sides that will make them feel afraid but losing you.

Settle for the person who will want to reach the deepest parts of your soul. The person who will want to know everything about you, including your weaknesses, past mistakes, and failures.

Settle for the person with whom you’ll feel free and comfortable to share your feelings, opinions, needs, wishes, and fears. The person who will never call you “clingy,” “too emotional,” or “crazy” when you get cranky or jealous or when you start shouting at them or even crying because they did something that hurt you.

Settle for the person who will be aware of both your outward and inward beauty and who will remind you of your worth. The person who will know what an amazing person they have in their life. They’ll be proud of all your successes, no matter how small or big they are.

They’ll never ask you to prove yourself so as to gain their respect and admiration. More importantly, they’ll believe in your strength and abilities and motivate you to set and pursue higher goals.

Settle for the person who will never compare you to other men or women because to them you’ll be more than good enough. To them, you’ll be perfect.

Settle for the person who will make you feel loved and valued every single day. The person who will choose you over anyone and anything. The person who will make you feel like you’re the most important person in the entire world.

Don’t search for the best person – the person that will meet all your standards and expectations since you may miss out the real thing.

Don’t settle for the best. Settle for the person to whom you’ll be the reason they find the world a better place.

If Two People Are Destined For Each Other, Fate Will Bring Them Back Together

When we broke up, it felt like the entire world crumbled like clay on me. I felt like a huge piece of me was gone … gone with him.

I would lay in bed at night thinking about him and wondering where he was and whether he’d found someone else. And other times, when feelings of guilt would sweep over me, I thought about everything I did wrong.

All the presents he gave me and everything I had from him are here, in a safe place in my room. I never threw anything away. The sweater he gave me still smells like him and I still sleep in the T-shirt he forgot in my apartment one night.  

We broke up 4 years ago, but I can still feel his presence.

Over the years, I dated other guys, and we went to the place we called “our place.” But, I didn’t feel the way I felt when I was there with him. Something was always missing.

Even some foods made me think of him since he was the one who made me try them.  And when I drank wine, it made me think of him as well because that was his favorite.

Everything reminded me of him, every corner in my apartment, every place in the city.

As time passed, people stopped mentioning his name in conversations. They stopped asking me if I knew where he was or what he was doing. It seemed like they’d completely forgotten about him, but, I never did. He was always on my mind, no matter where I was or what I was doing.

And the hardest part was my birthdays and his. It was painful celebrating my birthdays without him. It was hard laughing and pretending to be happy without hearing his words “Happy birthday, honey.”

Every birthday, I tried to resist the urge to call him just to hear his voice. I tried to resist the need to text him because I feared I’d discover that he hadn’t missed me at all, or even worse, that he’d forgotten about me.

All our photos on social media were deleted. There was no proof that he was mine. That I was his. That we were happy together. That my heart still belongs to him.

People asked me why I kept thinking about him and hurting myself more that way. But once I heard a quote that I’ll always remember: What’s meant to be will always find a way.

I never stopped thinking of him and hoping that we’d be together again because I knew that when two people are destined for each other, they’ll find their way back.

So, I waited. I waited patiently. Wherever I went, I imagined him standing by my side, holding my hand. Because every single part of me was missing him. Longing for him.

My love for him was simply too big to forget about him. To give up on him. To let him go.

Then, one day, my greatest wish came true.

He came back to me. Fate brought him back to me. And when this happened, I was swept over with feelings of happiness, excitement, love, but also, fear and disbelief. I just couldn’t believe that he was mine again.

Yet, we didn’t rush. We let things go slowly, naturally. And after a while, everything became the way it used to be, even better. I felt like we’d never separated. I felt like the 4 years without him never existed.

Thousands of questions came to my mind. I wondered if this was the right thing to do and if it was worth all the pain I went through. People, too, told me that I shouldn’t get back together with him and that I should forget about him instead.

But, I didn’t care about it. The only thing that mattered to me was him. He was everything I needed and wanted, and there was no chance to let him go again.

There was no chance to let go of the person who showed me what true love felt like. The person who made the person I’m today. The person who was and still is my everything.

Thanks to him, I feel complete and whole.

Thanks to him, my life has a purpose.

Thanks to him, I feel happy. I feel alive.

Things to Consider Before Visiting a Cosmetic Dentist

Do you find yourself in a situation where you are not happy with the way your teeth look? If this is the case, you need to take the steps needed to solve this problem. Cosmetic dentistry has come a long way since the old days. Any problem with your teeth can be fixed easily.

Nobody will ever know that a problem existed after your procedure is completed. However, having a cosmetic dental procedure performed is not something that you should do on a whim. You need to give it some serious thought. Here are some of the most important things that you should keep in mind prior to making an appointment with a cosmetic dentist. (1)

1. How far away is the dentist’s office from where you live?

You need to understand that many cosmetic dental procedures will require more than one visit. The dentist will need to give you an exam to see what problems you have with your teeth and gums. He or she will then determine which procedure will best solve your problem. You will most likely not be able to get the procedure performed on the same day that you have your initial consultation and exam. You will need to come back. Getting braces will require many appointments where the dentist will need to tighten the braces and make sure no problems have developed. This is why you would be better off choosing a dentist who has an office very close to where you live. This will save you a lot of time and gas money.

2. The dentist that you go to must have the proper credentials

Do not simply assume that every dentist is the same. Some are simply much better than others. First of all, you need to find out as much as you can about the dentist’s credentials. Is he or she in good standing with the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry and the American Dental Association? Has the dentist ever had his or her dental license suspended for any reason? If so, find out why. Has the dentist ever had a malpractice lawsuit filed against him or her? If so, you should learn the final result of that case. This information will allow you to make an educated decision regarding the dentist you choose.

3. How much experience does the dentist have performing the procedure that you are interested in?

The level of skill and experience of the dentist will also come into play when you are going to have a cosmetic dental procedure performed. Ideally, you want to deal with a dentist who has been performing that type of procedure for many years. Try to find a dentist with dozens of successful procedures performed without any mishaps. This level of experience will give you the peace of mind that you will be getting the best possible dental work performed.

A skilled dentist will provide you with dental work that will last for many years. Going to a less experienced dentist simply because he charges a cheap price would not be a smart decision. You will always get what you pay for where cosmetic dentistry is concerned.

4. What is the overall cost of the procedure you want to have performed?

Some cosmetic dentistry procedures can be rather expensive. This is why it is critical that you have a complete understanding of how much you will be responsible for paying. It would be in your best interests to get in touch with a variety of dentists in your area to compare their prices.

This is especially true if you do not have insurance. You will then be able to find out which dentist will give you the best deal. People who have dental insurance will need to verify if the dentist will accept the insurance plan they are currently using.

When you’re searching for a dentist, make sure to look at various dental websites before deciding. Some offices, like Midjersey Smiles, dentists in Old Bridge, NJ, will not only have current specials and pricing listing on their page but will have things like a list of services, patient information and maybe even a smile gallery of before and after photos.

Always make sure you ask these price and insurance questions before you make your first appointment with the dentist. It can prevent you from wasting your time going to the dentist’s office only to find out that you can’t afford the procedure or your insurance is not accepted.

5. Can the dentist provide you with references?

The final thing you will want to do is get a list of references from the dentist to who you can call and speak. These will be people on who the dentist has performed cosmetic dental procedures. Find out if these people are pleased with the results of their procedures. Never use a dentist who won’t provide references.

How To Tell Whether Your Ex Is Still In Love With You

Who would’ve thought what I had with him would fall apart? Who would’ve thought that we’d become just a shadow of the couple we once were? Well, I certainly wouldn’t.

When we ended the relationship, he moved out of the apartment. I had just started a new job and he knew things were a little bit complicated so he let me stay. I’ll never forget how I felt while I was waiting for him to leave the apartment. I felt like a part of me was leaving with him.

I was holding the keys tightly in my hands and I avoided looking at his eyes. I knew that if I looked at his deep, blue eyes, I’d burst out crying. Therefore, I waited for him to leave in the kitchen and when he left, I sat on the floor and cried for hours. I couldn’t stop thinking that was the last time I saw him. That was the last time I had him so close to me. So close and yet so far.

But, the truth is, things between us weren’t working for some time. We tried really hard to save our relationship and make things be the way they once were, believing that our love was strong enough to conquer anything.

We tried to work on ourselves as well. I tried to overcome my insecurities and give up habits that bothered him. He did the same thing too. We did our best to solve all our problems and find solutions that were the best for both of us.

We did everything that was in our power to make things work between us, and yet, we didn’t succeed.

The more we tried to save our relationship, the more in vain it looked. And when we finally came to terms with the fact that it wouldn’t work, we decided to part ways.

And the decision was both relieving and painful. But, it was necessary.

However, as soon as he was gone, I regretted it. The apartment felt empty and cold. Every corner radiated with the memories I had of him. The memories we made every single day for three years.

And not just the apartment. Every place in the city reminded me of him. Every club, restaurant, and park reminded me of the lovely time we spent there together. Sometimes even working in my office was impossible because my memories of him haunted me.

I wanted him. I needed him.

I couldn’t let this man go. I simply couldn’t imagine my life without him.

So, one Friday night while I was sitting in our favorite bar, I texted him. I couldn’t text anything else, but “Hi.” He texted me back the same thing.

I could feel myself blushing and my cheeks burning. All I could think of texting him next was “How are you? How is your new place?”

“Fine,” he answered and asked me about our old apartment.

We spent the rest of the night texting each other. We talked about what had been going on in our lives, our careers, and stuff like that. It was nothing meaningful, yet, it was everything we needed to know about each other.

Gradually, we allowed the conversation to turn into something easy and pleasant since both of us wanted that to happen.

So, my point is, when a person loves you, they’ll always respond. Maybe it’ll take you a while before you make the decision to reach out first. Maybe you’ll feel uncomfortable and even afraid that the other person won’t respond, but hey, if you truly love them, nothing will be scary or embarrassing enough to prevent you from trying to get back together with them, right?

My story shows you that even a simple Hi can tell you whether or not he or she still loves you.

And if you want to know what happened at the end of that Friday night, let me just tell you that I didn’t go home alone – I went home holding the hand of the person I loved and still love the most.

The Reason Why We’re Usually Attracted To People We Shouldn’t Be

Yes, relationships are made when two people are attracted to each other. And yes, relationships happen when two people are strangely, but genuinely interested in one another. But, no matter how much we strive to find someone perfect for us, we simply cannot know what person will eventually capture our attention.

So, what happens when we develop an attraction to someone who is not the right one for us?

More importantly, how do we become so intensely drawn to someone that we keep going back for more even though we are aware that we have to let go of them?

I’m guessing that nobody who has experienced this really knows why they keep going back to something that is clearly harmful to them. However, after careful consideration of some of my experiences and the experiences of people I know, I came to a few possible reasons why we keep going back to people that are not good for us.

Here are some of them:

1. WE THINK WE CAN RELATE TO THEM

Besides all the drama and pain, you feel like there’s something about that that makes you see yourself in them. You believe that they understand you completely. You feel like they know you. You feel like you two can relate to everything you’re going through.

I’m sorry to break it to you, but most of the times, this isn’t true. That strange, intense infatuation has nothing to do with mutual understanding. That is why you didn’t make it the first time, remember? They might have serious issues. So, the best thing you can do to help them is to simply try and be there as their friend. If that hurts you, leave them.

2. WE BELIEVE WE CAN HELP THEM CHANGE

This is probably one of the biggest reasons why most people go back to toxic relationships. We think we can help our ex-partners. The feelings we have for them are still alive, and our hearts tell us that we can actually help them change.

But, little do we know that we cannot force someone to change if they don’t want to. We cannot experiment on another human being. The only thing we can do is leave them and let them deal with their issues on their own.

3. WE THINK IT’S NOT THEM, IT’S OUR FAULT

When a relationship reaches a boiling point, we often take everything into consideration. The commitment issues, the lack of understanding, conflicting schedules, disagreements and so on.

But, when you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, the blame can be easily put on you. You might fight that thought, but eventually, you surrender, and you reach a point when you accept the fact that it might be you who is responsible for all this mess.

4. OTHERS ADVISE US TO GO BACK

This should never be a deciding factor for you. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a relationship. There’s simply a crowd. However, it is safe to say that it is one of the main reasons why most of us usually get attracted to people who are bad for us.

Believe it or not, there are people who sometimes favor a certain stranger over their loved one. These people are the ones who often manage to reignite feelings between you and your ex-partner.

5. WE’RE CERTAIN THAT OUR ATTRACTION IS BASED ON LOVE

We’ve all done this. We’ve all confused love with longing or simply with infatuation. But, whenever this happens, and you realize that you’re simply lying to yourself, you have to stop and let go of that toxic person. If you catch yourself constantly second-guessing yourself, that my dear, is not love.

8 Things You’ll Only Hear From Someone Who Truly Loves You

In life, you’ll go through a lot of experiences. You’ll search for love in all the wrong places, you’ll settle for people who are not worth it, you’ll make mistakes, you’ll learn from the lessons, you’ll engage in different relationships, you’ll meet a lot of people.

And some of them will say everything you want to hear just to keep you beside them. They won’t care about the meaning of their words. Some of them will force you to stop believing in miracles. Some of them will take away your hopes that true love even exists.

And then, there are some who will come into your life and turn your world upside down. They will love you like never before and they will say all the right things with, only this time you’ll feel the emotion. This time you’ll feel the pure, intense energy in their words and you’ll finally realize that this is it.

This is what you’ve been waiting for your whole life.

Here are 8 things you’ll only hear from someone who genuinely loves you:

1. I LOVE YOU

Oh, those three, magical words we all wish to hear. It’s true that I love you is the most overrated and overused saying among us. Most people don’t really think before they say it. But, it is also true that when someone truly loves you, these statements get a whole new meaning. There isn’t anything more beautiful than having someone whose words can make you feel the happiest person alive.

2. I REALLY MISSED YOU

However, “I love you” isn’t the only way to express our deepest and most sincere emotions. There’s something more meaningful and intimate in saying “I miss you”. I feel like when we say that we truly missed someone, a bigger part of our fragile soul is exposed. We’re no longer afraid to be who we are – a vulnerable human being who craves love.

3. I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU

And, there’s truly nothing more special than having someone who really cares about you. If your partner can see or sense when something is upsetting you and does everything they can to help you overcome the struggle, you’ve found someone special. These people are rare.

4. I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU

You know how it is. Talk is usually cheap. So, when they tell you that they’re always there for you, ask yourself if they really are. If the answer is yes, you’re a truly lucky person. When a person lets you know that you can always count on them, it is obvious they care so much that they’d get out of their way to help or comfort you.

5. I WANT TO HELP YOU

Love isn’t expressed only by saying “I love you”. Actions will always be the more important part. They will always be louder than words. You can say what you feel, but that doesn’t have to mean anything until you prove your point. Someone who really loves you won’t hesitate to sacrifice for you. They won’t be afraid to simply be there when you need them.

6. NOTHING WILL EVER SCARE ME AWAY FROM YOU

More importantly, when someone lets you know that they’d never leave you, it’s clear that they want to spend their lifetimes with you and that their love for you is only getting stronger and stronger.

7. I RESPECT YOUR NEED FOR PERSONAL SPACE

Respect is the foundation of a healthy and successful relationship. If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, if they don’t respect your different opinions, goals, and perspectives, then the relationship is doomed from the start.

But, when someone makes it clear that they’re 100% supportive of your work, your goals and they let you evolve on your own, it’s more than clear that they would do anything for you.

8. I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU

If they tell you that they want to grow old with you, trust me, you’re in for the most incredible ride of your life. This person not only loves you, but they are also 100% sure and ready to spend their life with you. They’re willing to commit to you and share their world with you.