Let’s be honest. Of course, my ideal man would be a perfect balance between a clingy and a distant guy.

But, if I really have to make a choice between a clingy man and a distant one, I’d totally end up madly in love with the clingy.

Because you see… I am a woman who will always choose love and affection before everything else. I could never settle for a distant, aloof and indifferent partner mostly because that is not the way I express my emotions.

Those who know me, know that I am a wild, intense and passionate woman. When it comes to love, I love from the very bottom of my heart. I put my soul in it. I could never ever pretend to be the opposite of what I truly am.

In other words, I am an open door. I am emotionally open, and I believe that love should have no limits. It should never be repressed or compromised.

That is why, if I have to make the choice between an overly attached partner and a distant one, I would always go for the first one.

I know that a clingy, over-attached person can sometimes be difficult to love and handle.

But, I simply cannot allow myself to waste any more time on someone who makes me wonder whether they like me or not, forces me to overthink their behavior, or doesn’t even bother to show his real emotions.

I will take a clingy over a distant one any day. I will rather be with someone who showers me with his affection 24hours a day, then be with a man who constantly makes me rethink everything he says and every move he makes.

It’s simple. I need someone who will make me a priority. Someone who won’t be afraid to put me first. A man who will always be there for me, especially when life gets difficult to handle. Someone who will be my best friend and stick with me through thick and thin. A man who won’t let anything tear us apart. Someone who would protect our love and fight for it.  Someone who would be completely open with me.

I need a keeper. Not a man who would make me totally insecure and confused around him.

I don’t want to second-guess things. I don’t want to question everything. I don’t want to force someone to love me. I don’t want to play games.

I just want to be chosen. I want a man who will love me and choose me every single day all over again.  

Physical abuse is usually right there where you can see it. We not only have the power, but we also have a responsibility to try and stop it, do everything in our power to help the person in need, turn the abuser in and blow the lid off the whole unfortunate situation.

The real danger lies in the silent abuse. The one that sometimes even the victims themselves fail to notice it. You see, emotional abuse is a quiet and frightening guest in the night. It slowly creeps in by manipulating you until it takes total control of you and drives you over the edge.

Here are 8 subtle, yet real signs that your partner might be emotionally abusing you:

1. HE OFTEN SUGGESTS YOU CANCEL EVERY PLAN WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND BE WITH HIM

There’s a certain amount of jealousy that every relationship needs. It is perfectly natural to be jealous and mad when there’s a pretty good reason for it. But, when a man starts exhibiting signs of extreme jealousy, or in other words, he requires you to cancel everything and abandon everyone just, so you could be with him, that is the first sign of emotional abuse, right there.

2. HE GETS MAD WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS

A potential abuser will do everything in his power to cut you off your support system and make you as vulnerable as possible. One of his powerful methods usually involves making you guilty of sharing private information about your relationship to other people.

3. HE CALLS HIS CRAZY OBSESSION ‘LOVE’

He’s extremely possessive of you and controls everything you do, but somehow, he keeps referring to this crazy possessive behavior as his own way of loving you.

4. HE ALWAYS BLAMES YOU FOR EVERYTHING

Beware. One of the most frightening signs of being emotionally abused is being constantly blamed for everything. A master manipulator will do everything to set you up and make you feel bad, even if you’ve done nothing wrong.

5. HE CRITICIZES YOU AND REMINDS YOU OF YOUR MISTAKES

We are human beings. We make mistakes, but at the end of the day we always forgive each other and try to leave everything behind us. But, when a partner starts making you feel bad by shoving your mistakes in your face and pointing out how big of a failure you are, it’s time to go code red. That behavior is not a normal, loving behavior. It is time to accept the truth. You are being emotionally abused.

6. HE BOLDLY COMPARES YOU TO OTHER WOMEN

And everyone else around you. The mocking seems to never stop. Everything you do, no matter how hard you try, somehow, you’re never enough. There’s always someone smarter, more beautiful, kinder, more interesting and better than you.

7. HE PUTS YOU DOWN IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE

It’s not enough that he constantly humiliates you by comparing you to other women, but he also puts you down in front of other people. The bigger his claws, the desperate his need to rob you of your last bits of confidence and make you a nobody.

8. HE TERRIBLY UNPREDICTABLE AND MOODY

There’s one way to check if you’re stuck with a partner who emotionally abuses you. If this person is terribly moody and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, it is clear – you are a victim of his twisted games. If you feel threatened every time he raises his voice, it is obvious. You are experiencing an emotional abuse.

If you are someone who has a very busy, overthinking mind, you probably care too much about what other people think or say about you. Overthinkers have a loud brain that forces them to over analyze everything around them.

But, these people have usually one more thing that makes it even harder for them to handle life challenges.

Their sensitive, fragile heart.

And when a loud mind is combined with a soft, vulnerable heart it, well, we all know what happens.  

These peculiar, but incredible human beings like to believe that the world is indeed black and white. There’s no gray area for them. They could never endure the pressure of uncertainty, especially when it comes to love. Overthinkers could never ‘hang out’ without giving themselves in entirely.

They never pretend. They cannot hide their emotions and pretend they’re indifferent. They either love or they hate. There are no ‘in-between’ feelings, only profound, genuine emotions.

Overthinkers are people who have a hard time balancing between being on their own and exposing themselves to the world. They tend to struggle to be around people and be generally present in every moment. Because the more people around them, the more chaotic their thoughts become.

Socializing with other human beings can easily overwhelm these sensitive creatures, therefore the only way they can fully function is if they isolate themselves from everything and everyone that is disturbing their peace.

However, the one thing that troubles these people the most is their eternal crave for love. Some of you would probably say, “But how is that a wrong thing?”.

You see, overthinkers have a fragile and sensitive heart. The mere thought of someone destroying their fragile heart into million tiny pieces terrifies them beyond words. So, as a result, most of these creatures condemn themselves to a life without love simply because they are too afraid to put themselves out there and embrace the risk of falling in love.

Overthinkers live to find the true meaning behind everything that surrounds them. The reason for their existence, the reason for their pain, their happiness, the way others treat them. Even if sometimes, some of the questions don’t even deserve an answer.

It is in their blood. It’s just the way they are.

At the end of the day, they might be the most difficult people to love, but the thing that makes them extraordinary and peculiar is their own, unique way of functioning. Their minds are known as busy and chaotic, but it is their differences, their emotional intelligence and pure soul that makes them the most honest and genuine human beings on this planet.

So, you’ve decided to break up. Let me congratulate you – the hardest part is over.

Well, okay, it’s not completely over. You still have to go through the unhappiness, resentment, hurt feelings, and even pain that come with every breakup.

And the truth is, whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 6 years, whether you thought he/she was your forever person, breakups are tough and no one likes them. Depending on how much emotionally you were invested in the relationship, the period after the breakup can be quite painful and it can take you weeks or even months to get over it.

There are going to be moments of questioning yourself whether you did the right thing. There are going to be moments when you have to dig deep inside you to find the strength to start to trust and love again.

So, the question is: How can you speed your breakup recovery? Well, we’ve come up with 6 things you should never do when you break up with someone. In this way, you’ll help yourself heal faster and move on.

So, let’s start:

1. Don’t try to punish your ex.

Okay, let’s say your ex is an awful person. Your partner was fickle and irresponsible. They always behaved selfishly and even lied to and cheated on you. And why not mention that they always left their socks all over the place and rarely cleaned up after themselves (hey, some things simply can’t be forgiven).

Most probably, you’re feeling angry and hurt and you’re creating all kinds of revenge plots to make your ex feel the same pain you do. But, hey, know that things, such as scratching their car or spreading rumors about them, won’t hurt them like they do in your daydreams.

By trying to punish the other person, you hurt yourself too. You magnify your negative feelings and grief and you get yourself in the way of healing and moving forward. Trust me, no ex is worth this much trouble.

2. Don’t think about getting back together.

Of course, you will miss your ex, especially if you were in a long-term relationship with them. You will think that you should give each other a second chance and that the reasons why you broke up weren’t that “grave” in the first place.

But chances are you’re trying to get back to your comfort zone. You want to get back together because things would be so much easier then. And another possible reason why you want to get back together might be that you’re afraid of being alone.

But, you need to keep in mind that you had a reason for ending the relationship. And if you really can’t determine whether you want or not to give your relationship another chance, why not taking a long break so as to examine your issues and figure out what wasn’t working between you?

Whatever you choose to do, remember that there’s a huge difference between missing the other person and missing being in a relationship.

3. Don’t try to get in contact with your ex.

When you decided to end a relationship, it means you decide to break off contact with the other person. So what’s the point calling or texting your ex just to “check up on them”? It’ll just create more confusion and mixed feelings. Moreover, this can make your ex think you want to try again.

I’m not saying that you can’t be friends with your ex-partners, but you definitively shouldn’t be friends right away. Take some time and space to grieve properly, think things through, and allow your pain to ease off a little bit.

And then ask yourself how you’d feel if you found out that your ex was seeing another person. If it would really bother you, then give yourself more time.

4. Don’t worry about mutual friends.

You’ve decided to break up and then it pops up in your mind that you two hang out with the same people. You begin to wonder which friends will support you and which friends will ditch you.

But you need to remember that friendships aren’t a part of romantic relationships and your relationships have a greater impact on your social life in the long term.  If your friends give you the cold shoulder and choose to stay with the other person, then they were never the best friends like you thought.

And if they stay with you, then you’ll have more emotional support during the first few months after the breakup. Either way,  this is not something that you should take into consideration when planning to break up and it should definitely not interfere with your decision.

5. Don’t lead your ex on.

If the game is over, it’s over. Don’t tell your ex something like: “I think we need some time apart” or “I need space to think about us for a while.” It’s really unfair and dishonest to make the other person believe there’s still a chance for you two to be together.

Leading them on will make their heartbreak just worse. So instead of giving your ex false hope, try to be more sensitive to their feelings and be honest. Make it clear that it’s time for both of you to move on.

Being straightforward with them can feel a little bit rough in the short term, but over time, it’ll prove it was the best thing you could do.

 6. Don’t jump into a new relationship right away.

If you think that a new relationship will make you feel better and fill the void your breakup created, know you’re wrong. If you want to create a healthy, meaningful, long-term relationship, you need to be at peace with yourself.

The best thing you can do is try to enjoy life as a single person until you feel confident and ready enough to enter a new relationship. Go out, hang out with friends, and reconnect with yourself.

During this period, you’ll be able to find out what things you did wrong in your previous relationship and how you plan to do things differently so as to have a positive outcome in the future.

Let’s face it. We’re living in a world of a sick dating culture.

Modern dating requires you to master the art of seducing someone without letting them know you really feel because god forbid someone actually cracks the code and find out that you’re attracted to them.

We’re existing in a society where emotions are underrated, and people are constantly taken for granted. A cruel and ignorant place where pretending to be something you’re not, instead of being yourself is likely to get more people to love you.

Everywhere I turn, there are thousands of confused people wondering whether someone wants to date them or not, contemplating perplexing text messages or Instagram stories, and figuring out just how subtle should their next move be.

Hello, it is time to wake up!

We are the generation of emotionally handicapped people.

And, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be a part of this wretched, depressed world anymore!

I’ve been around enough to realize that we cannot keep doing this if we want to grow. We simply cannot allow ourselves to drown in the ocean of apathy.

While I was taken, I couldn’t help but wonder why everyone around me complained about the struggle of finding the real thing. I just couldn’t believe it was that hard to come across someone who will be worth it. If I could have found a loving and caring partner, everyone could.

But, it was not until I got out of my relationship that I actually realized how twisted modern dating is. I had to fully experience the chronicles of single life to realize that it is freaking minefield out there.

People are too afraid to accept what they feel. They are terrified to show how they feel. They act like they don’t care in order to make people more interested in them. Every conversation must consist of carefully chosen words indicating that you’re okay with something, even if you’re not. Oh, be careful with that. Someone might find out that you actually have a heart.

Texting is the new way of communicating. But still, you cannot let yourself cross the line of neediness. If you were the one who texted the last time, that means this time you have to wait for them to text you first. Phone calls? If you want to hang out with someone, it’s better to wait for them to set a date, otherwise, you’ll seem too interested, borderline overly attached.

People don’t dare to ask where their relationships are going, for asking would only indicate that they’re needy. They suppress their anger, they bottle up their feelings, they lock all of their emotions in a box and throw the key away. Everything is better when it’s labeled as casual. Oh, you spent a nice evening having dinner and then you made love? It’s time to ignore them for days and make them wonder if you even care for them. That will do trick!

Well, I’ve had it! To hell with this sickness!

If I want to meet someone, I won’t be afraid to approach them and introduce myself. If I like someone, I will hang out with them. If I care about a person, I will let them know how much I love them. If someone inspires me, I’ll tell them. If I someone hurts me, I’ll leave them. If someone makes me angry, I will fight them, even if that makes me look a crazy bitch.

Why would showing those genuine emotions make me overly attached, needy, weird or naive when I am just being myself?

I refuse to stand idly by and let someone define my life for me. I will never let anyone have that power over me. In fact, we should never let others control our feelings. I’m tired of fighting for someone to love me and forcing someone to show me what they really feel. I’m tired of living in a world where indifference is a major turn on, and honesty is something we try to avoid at all cost.

Let’s just stop acting like little sissies. Let’s start behaving as normal human beings should behave. Let’s open our hearts and let our emotions show us the real way.

If someone makes you happy, tell them. If someone makes you frustrated, for the love of god, tell them. If you are not interested in a serious relationship, don’t string people along. Respect everyone around you enough to tell them the truth, no matter how bitter it is.

We’re all trying to make it here. We’re all imperfect humans who are fighting the same battle. So please, cut the crap and go straight to your point. Learn to treat people the way you want to be treated.

A strong woman will be your support. She will hold your hand tightly and run through the hailstorm. She will endure the hardest tests that life is giving her. She will embrace every obstacle as a way to learn a new lesson. She will give herself completely to you.

She will believe in you, especially when you find it hard to believe in yourself. She will accept every part of your flawed self, just because she loves you more than words can say. She will go out of her way to be there for you… but, only if she’s certain that your feelings about her are real.

Once a strong woman realizes that she has been wasting her time with the wrong person, she’ll be gone forever. She will leave, and you will never find a way to bring her back.

You see, a woman in love will be your everything. She will give both her heart and soul to you as long as she knows that your feelings are mutual. But, once she sees that she’s wasting her love on someone who simply isn’t worth it, she will leave in the blink of an eye.

You may think that she’s going to regret her decision, cry her heart out, beg you to come back, and blame herself for making a mistake, but you’ll be terribly wrong.

Because a strong woman says her goodbyes in her own unique way.

She is the kind of woman who won’t waste her tears on something she decided to put an end to. If she already made a decision to let you go, she must have had a pretty good reason to do so. She must have felt that there’s nothing left for her in this relationship.

Be advised. A strong woman won’t have a hard time abandoning someone or something that hurts her. She will appreciate the good moments, the love you’ve given her and the lesson’s you’ve taught her, but once she’s finally ready to say goodbye, you won’t be able to stop her.

I am not saying that it won’t be heavy on her heart, but she will find a way to find her find herself and get back on her feet. She will survive without you, trust me.

She’s bold and fearless when it comes to her own happiness. She knows that wherever life takes her, and no matter how hard hits her, she will be strong enough to survive the storm, and she will be brave enough to let her heart feel again.

A strong woman won’t mourn her loss of you, she won’t let her disappointment get to her. Instead, she will rise up like the sun and she will try her best to keep moving forward.

She won’t let her pain weigh her heart down. On the contrary, she will use her disappointment as a motivation to grow stronger than she was and learn the most valuable lessons that life gave her.

One thing is definite. When a strong woman decides to bid farewell to you, she is gone forever.

I spent 4 years emotionally torturing a good man by staying with him and telling him I love you, but never fully choosing him.

And what exactly is choosing about?

Choosing is about telling yourself why you’re with him/her currently, what made you fall in love with in the first place and why is it that you can’t even imagine the two of you not being together.

Choosing is about knowing that whatever problems and pain you’re going through, you’ll always have that one person to rely on.

Choosing is what tells you that you love to have the person you’re with by your side. That you love their face to be the first thing you see in the morning and the last one before you go to sleep.

Choosing is about loving someone and about never stopping irrespective of how many years pass.

But I wasn’t aware of this then.

But you know, I really wanted to be with him. He possessed all the qualities I’ve always looked for in a man. He was smart, beautiful, and with a great sense of humor. He was kind, compassionate, and patient. He treated me with lots of love, affection, and respect.

He could make my eyes beam with happiness and my entire body tremble at his touch. When he looked at me, my heart filled with warmth and joy I can find no words to explain.

He was all I needed.

And I loved him. Oh, I loved him intensely. But…

Well, you know, when you’re young and not that experienced, you don’t know how to love truly and properly. When you’re young, you easily get tired of things or even people. And that was my fault.

I didn’t know how to love him the right way. I acted immaturely. Although I knew what a brilliant, loving, and devoted man he was, I would often think to myself if there was another man out there who would love me better and who would be easier to love as well. And as time passed and that thought ran more and more through my head, I started to appreciate him less and less.

I chose him less and less. I stayed with him, but I didn’t choose him every day. It was a torture for both of us.

And not choosing him turned into my habit and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Instead of focusing on his virtues and merits, I only saw his weaknesses and faults. I saw his insecurities, fears, demands, jealousy, anger. And the more I focused on his bad sides, the more I saw of them and the more the gap between us widened.

And choosing him would have meant focusing and appreciating all his qualities that were the greatest gifts someone has ever given to me: his kindness and compassion, his laughter and sense of humor, his passion and comforting hugs, his companionship and loyalty.

But I wasn’t grateful for these gifts. I let his bad sides outweigh the good ones and the latter were greater in number and more important. But, I was blind, I was stupid for not seeing that.

And now I realize, however, that he was angry because he felt I wasn’t choosing him. He felt that in my words and actions. He feared I would abandon him.

In fact, that’s exactly what I did. I abandoned him by not fully choosing him every day for four years and by focusing on his faults rather than on what I loved about him.

I abandoned him in countless ways. I made the relationship a torture for both of us.

But I promised myself that I’ll never make the same mistake again. When I fall in love with another man, I’ll choose him every day.

And you, if you’re in a relationship, please, make sure you don’t make the mistake I made. I suggest you ask yourself why you’re choosing him/her. If you can’t find a satisfactory answer right away, wait. Don’t make hasty decisions. Dig deeper inside.

Ask yourself the same question again the following day. And if too many days pass and you still can’t tell why you’re choosing him/her then you know what you have to do – let them go!

Let them go and create an opportunity for another person to appear and see them with a yearning heart. Show them that you’re willing to put in the effort and maintain the relationship.

Choose them enthusiastically every single day because they deserve it. You deserve the same as well.