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6 Habits That Sabotage Your Mental Health

By
Riley Cooper

Undoubtedly, modern technology has improved and made our lives so easy to the extent that we can’t imagine living without it. Yet, what we fail to realize is that modern technology accompanied by our habits and lifestyle are the greatest enemies to our mental health.

That’s the paradox of the modern society. Whatever we need and want, we can get it at the push of a button, without putting in a lot of effort or time compared to our ancestors. Thanks to the internet, we gain all kinds of information and broaden our knowledge of the world.

And, of course, I have to mention the latest addiction of the modern man – the social media. Whether it’s for sharing experiences or getting in contact with other people, they have become an inseparable part of our lives.

We can perform our daily responsibilities more effectively and efficiently, but we still have less free time and more worries which cause our mental and physical health to suffer. Worrying whether we will finish all our responsibilities on time, chasing our career goals, and  dealing with stressful situations every day have caused us to develop bad habits and forget about taking care of our health.

So, if you want to maintain your mental well – being, make sure you give up the following 6 bad habits.

1. Suppressing anger.

Living in this modern time when we’re daily faced with many responsibilities and challenges, it’s become normal feeling frustrated and angry. Yet, this can turn into a serious problem and put your mental health at risk if you bottle up anger and hold grudges against others. Suppressing anger and other negative emotions for longer periods can stress you out and even make you feel depressed.

So, to save yourself from these problems, try to express your anger, but make sure you do that in appropriate ways, without creating drama or violence. Try to stay calm and act reasonably and you’ll see how better this will make you feel.

2. You don’t do enough physical exercises.

Of course, the fact that you have everything at your fingertips means you shouldn’t move around a lot to get what you want. Or you can simply get in your car and drive to work or to the grocery. Doing exercise doesn’t only help you keep your body in shape, but it also positively affects the work of your brain and your mood.

Moreover, one study has shown that regular exercise can improve the symptoms in people who suffer from depression and anxiety. So, why don’t you try spending 10 to 15 minutes a day doing exercises? Even a quick walk can improve your mood.

3. You use the social media and technology in general too much.

Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or you’re just playing games online, you spend so much time on them that I won’t be wrong if I say you’ve become their slave. We shouldn’t be surprised when we hear that people who spend a lot of time on social media are more likely to develop anxiety and even depression.

The thing is the more time you spend using them, the less time you have to meet and talk to people face – to – face. It’s no wonder that more and more people are feeling lonely and distance themselves from others because they replace the real with the virtual world.

4. You don’t get enough sleep.

You can’t function properly unless you get enough quality sleep. There’re many factors which can rob you of a good night’s sleep, such as stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, too much caffeine, modern technology, and the list is endless. Sleep deprivation makes you feel exhausted, irritable and drained during the whole day.

You can enhance your sleep by limiting the above – mentioned factors. For example, limit the intake of caffeine and try not to stay online until late at night.

5.You don’t spend enough time outdoors.

I know you’ll say that the fast-paced life we lead doesn’t allow us to spend enough time outoors. But, you should know that a lack of exposure to sunlight decreases the amount of vitamin D in your body.

Having this vitamin in enough quantities is important because it supports the health of your immune system, brain, and heart, and it regulates your mood too.

So, even on your busiest days, make sure you go out, even a walk to the nearest park can do you a lot of good.

6. You buy a lot of things you don’t need.

This does not refer only to women, guys do it as well. Whether out of pleasure or to make yourself feel better, you have this bad habit of buying stuff more than you need. But, the truth is, material things can never make you feel genuinely happy and satisfied with yourself. They can only make your life easier or make you feel joy for a very limited amount of time.

Additionally, if you can’t control your need to buy more things than you need or you can’t buy everything you want, this can make you feel stressed and even anxious.

So, why don’t you replace this habit with that of gaining as many experiences as you possibly can? Because, at the end of the day, it’s the people you meet, the places you go, and the things you do that make you happy and fulfilled.

Image: Walt3r

This Is Why Crying Your Eyes Out Is Beneficial For You

By
Riley Cooper

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” – William Shakespeare

“Don’t cry. Don’t show you’re weak.” Or “Big boys and big girls don’t cry.” I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before. But, is this really so?

When emotions overtake you, crying comes naturally and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. Unfortunately, these popular sayings make us feel ashamed of our tears. So, we either suppress our feelings of anger, disappointment, or sadness or we cry when there’s no one around us.

What we fail to realize is that sometimes a good cry can cure what words and a good laugh can’t. We fail to realize that crying is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign that you’ve been strong and putting up with bad things for too long.

“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

I couldn’t agree more. Crying is our reaction to sorrow, anger, and injustice. Our tears show that we have emotions. That we suffer. That we are humans.

There’s one important thing I’d like to mention, though. There’s a huge difference between shedding a few tears from time to time and crying frequently and uncontrollably or without any apparent reason. The latter can be an indicator of depression and it’s a situation where one must seek medical help.

You may find it surprising but tears can be beneficial for both your emotional and physical health. They can make you feel better even if your circumstances haven’t changed a bit. This is so because your tears make your unpleasant feelings become less strong, such as when you experience stress, anger, sadness, and pain.

Tears can purify your pent-up feelings that have created pressure inside you. They can heal your wounds. They can be the water to your growth.

I remember the last time I cried over a breakup with a guy who didn’t deserve my tears. But, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t hold back my tears, so I let them fall. And if you’re wondering whether they made my pain go away, I have to tell you – NO. The pain was still there but it was less intense.

Crying can greatly benefit your physical health as well.

A great number of scientists who have studied crying and tears have found that tears have a positive effect on our physical health.

First of all, tears are beneficial to the health of your eyes. At this point, it’s worth mentioning that there are 3 types of tears: reflex tears, continuous tears, and emotional tears. Reflex tears clear dust and smoke from your eyes. Continuous tears protect your eyes from infection and the emotional ones contain stress hormones and toxins.

Besides removing toxins from your body, fighting bacteria, and improving vision, crying also helps to decrease blood pressure. And I’m sure you know how relieved you feel after having a good cry. So, yes, crying also relieves stress and has a soothing effect as it helps you regulate your emotions and calm yourself in distress.

In reference to this, one scientific study has shown that crying activates endorphins, also known as the feel – good chemicals. These chemicals alleviate both emotional and physical pain and make you feel calm.

The study has also shown that crying has a social benefit for you because it promotes empathy, protective responses from other people, social bonding, and it lowers inter – personal aggression.

The thing is that when you cry you show your vulnerability to others. And those who really care about you will never leave you to cope with your pain or whatever it is that you’re going through alone.  When the people you hold dear empathize with you, the connection that exists between you becomes stronger.

In addition, crying has a cathartic effect on you. This means that it helps you diminish negative feelings and tension. It also enables you to release the excessive emotional energy which, unless it’s properly released, it may turn into different psychological and physical health problems. And most importantly, crying helps you recover from grief.

So, the next time you feel the need to cry, don’t hold back your tears – let them fall instead. Let them release the stress that has built up in your body. Let them alleviate your pain and heal your heart.

 

The Amazing Omega Male: Why He Is Way Better Than The Alpha

By
Riley Cooper

We all know that alpha male – the confident and dominant guy who gets tons of ladies and wants to be the center of attention. But, there’s this other type of man who doesn’t stand out in society but possesses amazing characteristics that make him the best. That’s the omega male.

Just because omega males don’t want to get attention and aren’t interested in social status and popularity, people wrongly think they’re passive, quiet, and even boring. But, this is far from the truth.

In fact, they’re confident and they can be active as the alpha, but they don’t want to show off these qualities so as to get people’s adoration. They’re kind, gentle, and empathetic, and they’re wonderful in relationships. So, if your partner is an omega male, know that he’s a real keeper.

Here are 8 reasons why the omega male is better than the alpha:

1. He’s empathetic.

The omega male has the ability to see and identify with what you’re going through. He’ll do his best to show you that you can always rely on him for whatever you need. If you feel worried about something or sad, he’ll always be there to comfort and help you because he understands how you feel. He’ll never let you fight your battles alone.

2. He’s kind.

If you’re looking for someone who will truly care about you, then the omega male is the right person for you. This type of man is tender, unselfish, and he’ll always make time to take care of your needs and offer you his support and help if there’s a need.

Additionally, the fact that he has high self – control means that he’ll never allow his strong, i.e. negative emotions, affect the way he treats you.

3. He’s gentle.

This kind of guy isn’t afraid to show you his soft side. He’ll will always treat you like a lady. He’ll never be reluctant or ashamed to give you a comforting hug or cuddle with you on the couch and eat pizzas while you’re watching your favorite movie together.

Moreover, he’ll always be willing to do the things you enjoy doing. Be that watching romantic comedies, riding a bicycle, walking in nature, or shopping, he’ll be more than willing to join you.

4. He’s easy-going.

The omega male is relaxed and doesn’t fly off the handle when faced with stressful situations. He tries to stay calm and avoid unneccesary tension and stress in his life. That’s why he always prefers to talk things out with you over a cup of coffee rather than fighting with you and creating drama.

5. Ego? What’s that?

The omega male can achieve success just as much as the alpha, but he’ll never brag about it. He doesn’t feel the need to blow his trumpet everywhere he goes. He won’t post comments on Facebook showing off his achievements.

He’s aware that his happiness and worth aren’t determined by the number of people who admire him. Instead, his success and happiness are within himself and the way he lives his life.

6. He’s introverted.

Compared to the typical alpha male who wants to be the strongest, smartest, the most handsome, and best at everything, the omega doesn’t want to stand out.

The omega male prefers to spend time alone to being the one everyone pays attention to. Additionally, they don’t feel the need to compete with other males so as to show that they’re the best.

7. He prefers deep relationships.

I’ve already mentioned that the omega male doesn’t show any interest whatsoever in popularity. This means that he’ll be happy and satisfied having only a handful of true and loyal friends instead of having a bunch of dishonest and fake ones.

He likes to know that he’s surrounded by people he can trust and have meaningful and deep conversation with and who will show him he can always rely on them.

 

8. He wants to work alone.

He doesn’t want to be a part of any group, be that at his work or with his friends. He wants to work on his own because he believes in his mental strength, abilities, and decisions. The only thing he cares about is to be happy, fulfilled, and feel good about himself. He works hard to achieve his goals and he doesn’t care if people are following his progress or not. He’d rather be his own master than a leader of some group.

Image: tamás somoskeöy

Your IQ Isn’t A Prerequisite For Success: Here’s What You Really Need To Succeed In Life

By
Riley Cooper

You have a high IQ and you’re still unable to have a productive and successful life. Well, I’m sorry to break it to you but it’s very likely you have overestimated your intelligence levels.

Ever since I was a child I remember people telling me that being the smartest is a guarantee that you’ll achieve both personal and professional success. But, is this really so?

I frequently meet people who have a high IQ but are still struggling to reach the high levels of the success hierarchy. And vice versa – there’re people who stand high in society but their success can’t be attributed to their intelligence.

So, whether it’s emotional or financial success, or success with your family, it turns out that you need to possess other qualities to smoothly pave the path to it. It’s not that intelligence is unimportant, but one thing is for sure, it’s overrated.

Additionally, besides the intelligence necessary for you to think abstractly and solve abstract problems, there are other forms of it, such as moral, emotional, and body intelligence, which play an important role in your search for success.

Moreover, things, such as hard work, perseverance, creativity, good communication skills, and learning from failure are all overlooked, but they certainly are a prerequisite to success.

In what follows, there’s a description of each of these things:

Hard work.

“Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

Success is not magic. Success isn’t something that is dropped aside your door. Something that is achieved overnight. Maybe you think that success is only attained by people who are naturally talented or people who were born under the lucky star. But, you’re wrong.

Real successes happen as a result of hard work and determination. You can’t grow personally if you’re not willing to learn new things, break your bad habits, change your routines, and become a better version of yourself. You can’t improve your career if you don’t put in the effort.

You can be the most intelligent and talented person in the world, but without hard work, it’ll be impossible for you to get to the top and maintain your position there.

 Perseverance.

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”  – Newt Gingrich

The path to success is paved with many hardships and obstacles and it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’ll quit or soldier on. Of course, when you pursue high goals, you’ll come across many difficulties. But, who said life is easy?

Perseverance means that you have the determination to overcome all the roadblocks you come up against on the path to your success and work your way up to the top.

Creativity.

“When you can do a common thing in an uncommon way; you will command the attention of the world.” – George Washington Carver

Having original ideas and imagination can help you create something new. Whether it’s a plan, an invention, or some work of art, it can definitely make you stand out from the rest.

Again, you don’t need to be a naturally gifted person in order to be creative. You just need to be open to new ideas and perceptions. You need to be curious about learning and trying new things and gaining new experiences.

Moreover, being creative doesn’t mean you have to create something from scratch. Using old information and presenting it in a new way will do the job.

Communication skills.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer

You can’t succeed in life without establishing good relations with people. And what’s the best way to do that than by having good communication skills? You need to always be willing and patient to listen attentively to the person you’re interacting with.

Additionally, showing respect and understanding of other people’s ideas and opinions is what can help you relate to them more easily.

Moral intelligence.

You can’t expect others to treat you well if you don’t treat yourself with respect and kindness. If you possess moral intelligence, it means you’re not afraid to take responsibility for your actions and stay true to yourself.

Additionally, treating others with respect, kindness, compassion, and tolerance shows that you relate well to others and how you feel about yourself too.

Emotional intelligence.

Being emotionally intelligent enables you to easily recognize and regulate your and the emotions of other people as well. It also helps you control your strong emotions, so when you find yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable, upset, and angry, you’ll know how to react appropriately.  Moreover, it enables you to motivate yourself to achieve your goals.

Body intelligence.

In our fast – paced lives, we devote the least attention to our bodies. Yet, if you possess this kind of intelligence, it means you’re aware of your body and know how to take care of it. You know that eating healthy food, having enough sleep, and exercising are necessary to keep your body in a healthy state.

Yet, if you think your body intelligence levels are low, don’t despair because there’re ways in which you can improve this. First of all, you need to learn to listen to your body. Then, make your health your top priority. And finally, make sure you make time to practice the above – mentioned healthy habits every day.  

Learning from past mistakes and failure.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Failures are a part of everyone’s life. Yet, you should know that by focusing your attention and time on them, they’ll interfere with your happiness and success – and that’s something you should never allow to happen.

You need to use them as valuable lessons which can teach you something new and make you more prepared to deal with new challenges in the future. You need to always believe in your abilities and remember that there isn’t anything you can’t achieve if you want it so bad and keep yourself motivated.

Image: Ma_Co2013

The Top 9 Red Flags Your Infant May Have Autism

By
Riley Cooper

Autism, the buzzword of the 21st century, is a disorder with which a great number of infants are faced, and unfortunately, their number is on the increase. Yet, identifying the signs of autism early in the development and seeking pediatricians’ help can make a difference in its treatment.

Autism is a complex condition characterized by impairments in social interaction and in both verbal and nonverbal communication accompanied by repetitive actions. 

Although autism is often not diagnosed until the child is over two years old, some children begin to show signs of this disorder before they turn a year old. Of course, the signs and the severity of the symptoms can vary depending on the child.

Probably, one reason why many parents fail to detect this problem is that they believe if their child doesn’t show any strange behaviors, there’s no reason to worry. Yet, what they fail to realize is that autism is actually recognized by a lack of normal behavior.

Following are 9 signs that show your infant may have autism. And don’t forget that spotting them in their earliest form can help you deal with the problem more effectively and reach positive outcomes.

1. Delay in babbling.

Most infants start cooing or babbling or showing other signs of early talking by the first birthday. Infants who later develop autism babble during the first few months before they lose these communicative behaviors while others start to speak much later.

2. Delayed motor development.

You need to pay great attention to when your child first begins to crawl, push itself up, and roll over because a delay in any of these can be an early indicator of autism.

3. Poor eye contact.

Infants who have autism have a limited eye contact with their parents and other people as well. For example, they don’t look at you when being fed or follow objects visually, and they might even seem to look right through you.  So, if you happen to notice this kind of behavior, you should seek their pediatrician’s help.

4. Unresponsiveness to their names.

Infants who have autism have a difficulty paying attention and understanding language. That’s why they don’t respond when you call them by their name. You might think that if your child doesn’t respond to his/her name when called or turn to see where a sound is coming from, that could mean they’re not hearing properly or are just ignoring you.

But, be careful as this may not be the case. Infants should reach this milestone by 12 months, so if your child doesn’t respond to familiar voices or when you call it by its name, you should take this as a serious red flag.

5. Lack of smiling.

It’s typical for infants to smile back at you when you smile at them. Your child should be able to give you smiles by the age of 6 months. Yet, infants with autism usually don’t show joyful expressions when you talk to or smile at them.

6. Rarely seeking attention.

Most infants enjoy being cuddled and hold by their parents. When they seek their parents’ attention, they make noises or reach for them. But, the situation is different with those who have autism. They rarely make noise to get your attention. They rely less on your care and attention and they may sometimes even seem indifferent to your affection.

7. Rare imitation of expressions and social cues.

Infants with autism don’t imitate the sounds, facial expressions, and movements of the people surrounding them. They may also show reduced interest in watching people’s faces and they have a difficulty playing social games with other kids.  If you notice this characteristic early in your child’s development, make sure you consult its pediatrician.

8. Repetitive movements.

Infants with autism tend to have more repetitive behaviors than others. These can include rotating and flapping their hands, stiffening their arms, jumping, rocking and uncommon postures.

Even the way they play with toys is characteristic. For example, they can arrange and rearrange objects and toys in a specific order, or spin a car wheel over and over again, rather than using it to play.

9. Lack of gesturing.

Most infants are able to communicate through gestures by the age of 12 months. An obvious sign of delayed development is when you child doesn’t grasp your finger, reach for you when he/she wants you to pick them up, point to things they want to have, such as a toy or a box of chocolates, wave, and make any gestures when interacting with you. This kind of behavior warrants an immediate evaluation by your child’s pediatrician.

Some final words: if you suspect that there’s something wrong with your child’s development, don’t wait for the situation to get better by itself. Instead, consult and seek their pediatrician’s help.

Psychologists Explain: There’s A Sinister Logic Behind The “Nice Guy Syndrome”

By
Riley Cooper

If you’re wondering why Nice Guy is put in quotation marks, let me tell you that’s because they’re not nice. Psychologists explain that in most cases there’s a sinister agenda lurking behind the Nice Guy syndrome.

Namely, a Nice Guy is someone who thinks he’s entitled to date the girl he likes because he’s always been nice and supportive to her. And although neither men nor women should be expected to love back the person who showed them human decency, the Nice Guy thinks differently.

He expects the woman he’s interested in to like him back and become his girlfriend in return. He’s always comparing himself to and complains about the “bad guys” who always get to date the women they’re attracted to while he’s always left in the friend zone. And of course, he presents himself as the better choice for her.

The “Nice Guy Syndrome” is clearly explained by the psychologist Dr. Jesse Marczyk. He says: “The men who tend to get stuck in the friend-zone might not be attractive enough on their own (physically, socially, or otherwise), and so try to compensate for their shortcomings by investing in women more than their peers. In other words, they might use kindness to try and make up for what they lack elsewhere.”

A notable characteristic of the Nice Guy is that he feels betrayed by and irritated with the woman he likes when she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. When he realizes that their friendship is not going to turn into a relationship, he blames it on the fact that he’s always been nice to her, but all that has been in vain because she’s only interested in “bad guys” and jerks.

Of course, there’re many guys and women as well who are genuinely nice and honest and don’t have any hidden intentions when it comes to you and your friendship. In reference to this, professor Adam Grant says:” Good guys and gals have a better chance of finishing last than the rest of us, but also better odds of finishing first.”

So, being nice might not get guys and girls what they want in the short term, but it will eventually pay off as chances are people will want their help further down the line.

Yet, there’s a stark difference between genuinely nice guys and those who are “nice” in the hopes of getting a girl.

So, if you happen to have a friend whose behavior has the above – mentioned characteristics,  you can be sure that your friendship is not what he’s after. Instead, he just wants to hook up or have a relationship with you.

According to Dr. Jesse Marczyk, the guy who feels angry about being friend-zoned shouldn’t feel resentful or wait for the friendship to transition to relationship. Instead, he should change himself so as to get out of the friend zone.

He suggests:” Go to the gym, groom yourself more, get a good job, increase your social status; generally do more of the things that a person finds attractive. When you bring more to the table yourself, your options improve.”

Another alternative he gives is that this type of guys should make their intentions clear from the beginning and if their feelings aren’t reciprocated, they should move on, not wait around.

Marczyk also emphasizes that the guy who has been put in the friend zone won’t be happy because “By definition here, one party wants more from the relationship than they’re realistically going to get. That’s a formula for disappointment.”    

So, if one day one of your closest friends reveals his love for you, make sure you find out what his real intentions are. He might have really developed romantic feelings for you through time or he just wants to hook up with you.

Image: Cornelius Woodrow

If Your Woman Possesses These Admirable 12 Qualities, Know That You’ve Found The One, Scientists Say

By
Riley Cooper

You’re in a relationship with a woman you’re so deeply in love with. But, how do you know that she’s the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?

It’s normal for people who are in long – term relationships to ask themselves at one point or another if they’ve found their missing half in their partner. For many years, scientists have been researching the serious issues related to love and they’ve tried to find out what qualities partners need to possess in order to make the relationship meaningful and long-lasting.

Well, as far as women are concerned, they have compiled a list of 12 qualities that you should look out for in a woman when you’re looking for a life partner.

Yet, this doesn’t mean that women should try to reach some impossible standards or feel bad if they lack some of these qualities. These qualities can never be forced or feigned and will help you decide if she is the right one for you.

So, if your woman possesses these 12 qualities, make sure you keep her:

1. She’s honest.

Honesty is the foundation of any strong and successful relationship. And honestly, who doesn’t want to have a partner who is honest? A partner who is always willing to tell you when you’re wrong and help you get back on track. A partner you can have an absolute confidence in because they have proved they deserve your trust.

Studies reveal that honesty is the characteristic men desire in their long – term romantic partners. So, if your woman has this trait, know that she’s a keeper.

2. She compromises.

When you disagree over something, your woman doesn’t put the blame on you or leave the conflicts unresolved. Instead, she’s ready to make sacrifices and gives her best to make things work between you.

Thomas Bradbury, the author of one study at the Relationship Institute at UCLA says:“As a relationship changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving forward.”

3. She respects your boundaries.

This woman knows how important it is to have your own privacy and me – time. How important this is shown in one study whose author, Terri Orbuch states: “When individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests, when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or relationship, that makes them happier and less bored.”

4. She is kind.

She is kind and generous towards you. The notable psychologist John Gottmann identifies two types of couples: Masters and Disasters. Contrary to Disasters, the former stay together in a relationship longer and share this characteristic: “They are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.”

5. She accepts your faults.

This woman loves and accepts you with all your quirks, fears, and annoying habits. You’re perfect to her just the way you are. Terri Orbuch said: “An optimistic approach will rub off on you and attract you to others who are seeing the world as half full.”

6. She supports your goals and pursues her own.

She has her own personal and professional goals to pursue but she never neglects yours. She always motivates you to achieve your goals and believe in your abilities and mental strength.

One study shows that in strong relationships, the woman prioritize the goals of her partner and moreover accept the goals of the other person as their own.

7. She doesn’t fly off the handle in arguments with you.

She knows how to keep her strong emotions in check. She doesn’t allow her anger to affect her way of thinking and behavior towards you. She communicates constructively and tries to solve your problems.

Researchers from the University of California Berkeley and Northwestern University have found out that when a woman calms down fast, the couple is more likely to be happy in the short and long term as well.

8. She has a positive outlook on life.

Is your girlfriend the type of person that is full of optimism? Is she the type of person you can never see this woman thinking or speaking negatively about her future, let alone about the two of you together? Well, if your answer is yes, consider yourself lucky.

She knows that having a negative attitude to life will do her no good and moreover, it can harm her mental and physical health. The psychologist Elaine Hatfield also supports this view by saying that when we spend a lot of time with negative people surrounding us, we adopt their mental state. And this negativity can out your overall health in danger.

9. She doesn’t hold grudges against you.

If you’ve found a woman who can forgive other people, make sure you keep her. One study has revealed that those who can forgive are happier, have a better physical and mental health and higher personal control.

10. She gets on well with her parents.

If you want to know how she’ll treat you later on in life, see how she behaves towards her parents now. Namely, Matthew Johnson, the author of one study explains that higher quality parent – adolescent relations predict higher quality of young adult romantic relationship as well.

11. She’s smarter than you.

If you’re searching for a partner for life, make sure she’s smart, or even better, smarter than you. This kind of woman challenges you and inspires you to learn new things.  

Lawrence Whalley, a professor emeritus of the University of Aberdeen, has been researching the issue of dementia for a long time and discovered that an intelligent woman can protect you from it later in life. His advice for all guys is: “The thing a boy is never told he needs to do if he wants to live a longer life — but what he should do — is marry an intelligent woman. There is no better buffer than intelligence.”

12. She does foolish things with you.

Does you woman go with you to parties and do things that most people usually frown upon? Well, one study has shown that couples who drank alcohol together enjoyed a high quality marital life.  Of course, this doesn’t mean the two of you need to be alcoholics to be happy together, but that couples who like spending their free time activities together are more likely to have a good quality marriage.

The Day Of My Graduation Was The Day Of My Parents’ Graduation As Well

By
Riley Cooper

I still remember the day I graduated. The day I finished one chapter of my life and started a new one.

College education has the power to change lives as it certainly changed mine but also that of my family. I can proudly say that when I graduated, my family graduated with me. I earned my diploma thanks to their constant support and encouragement.

I wouldn’t have made it without their help.

My parents didn’t go to college. And maybe that was the reason why they insisted so much that I enroll, study hard, and earn my diploma. They were afraid  I’d follow their steps and start working without finishing college first.

They knew that a college education was the basis of a good life. That it opened the door to many opportunities and successes.

They sacrificed a lot to ensure I get college education. They sacrificed their time, their money, and I sometimes think, their happiness too. And for that, I’ll always be grateful to them.

When I enrolled at the college, my parents helped me with all the costs. They never made me feel like I owed them something. Even when I suggested that I should get a part – time job so as to earn some money and cover at least a part of the costs, they didn’t allow me. They always insisted that I should only care about my studies and about nothing else.

And that’s what I did. I studied hard and tried to be the best. When I had more free time I worked as a freelance in the library and I earned some money, which, of course, I used to pay for my studies.

I have many great memories from that period that I’ll always cherish. If there’s one thing that makes me sad sometimes is the fact that I missed many birthday parties of my family and friends and other important home celebrations. I missed opportunities to spend more time with my grandparents who are gone now. But, that’s life. No one said it’s easy.

I’ll always be proud of my achievements and of my family who helped me unconditionally become the person I’m today. A person who wants to make changes in the world and make life easier for many people out there. A person who wants to make education more accessible to people belonging to the lower social class. A person who serves as an example of how important parents’ help and support to their children is.

Image: The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga

8 Telltale Signs You’re Having An Emotional Affair With Your “Work Spouse”

By
Riley Cooper

“Work spouse” relationships usually start innocently. Two coworkers go out to lunch together or help and share inside jokes with each other.

You can be in a long – term relationship, but if you’re not careful, you can easily put it in danger. In what follows, there are 8 signs that show you may be having an emotional affair with your work spouse. Some of them are quite logical, whereas some will make you stop and think.

(All the things listed below may refer to both women and men).

Here they are:

1. Instead of doing things to impress your partner, you do them to impress your “work spouse.”

For example, you don’t like wearing a particular type of clothes, even though your partner has always wanted to see you in it. Yet, you’re ready to wear it because you know you’ll look more attractive to your “work spouse.”

Or you don’t really like leaving waiters tips, but when you and your “work spouse” are having lunch together, you’re more than willing to dig into your pocket and tip the waiter.

2. You start telling things to your “work spouse” first.

Before you felt the connection between you and your “work spouse”, you used to tell things to your partner first. Now, that’s changed. You may also often think you’ve already informed your partner about something, when in fact, you haven’t.

3. You’re not afraid of losing your partner.

And this used to be something that terrified you to the core. But, now, the idea that your actual partner might leave you does not bother you at all. You know that you have your “works spouse” to comfort and support you.

4. You often wish your partner was more like your “work spouse.”

You notice traits in your “work spouse” that your actual partner lacks. You wish he/she was more open, straightforward, confident, or even attractive. You often find yourself making comparisons between the two of them.

5. Your “work spouse” is very flirtatious.

This is something you can’t miss. He/she often brings up sexual things while they’re talking with you although they’re often out of place. Oftentimes, this can make you feel uncomfortable, but if you’re letting them do this, they’ll continue doing so.  

6. Your “work spouse” is more “vulnerable” than your partner.

You often find yourself taking more care of the needs and problems of your “work spouse” than of those of your partner. A possible outcome of all this is that you might start neglecting, or even ignoring, your actual partner.

7. You justify and defend your “work spouse.”

You stand up for them even when no one has attacked them. Yet, you do the same thing even when you know they’re wrong.

8. You feel like it’s not “real cheating.”

You feel this way because you would never physically cheat on your partner. Yet, the fact that you’re closer to them emotionally still remains an issue.

10 Obvious Signs That Show A Guy Has Fallen Hard For You

By
Riley Cooper

It’s often said that men are mysterious when it comes to expressing their feelings. But, honestly, I don’t think they are. Men can love as strong as women can. 

Actions speak louder than words sounds like a cliché, but when it comes to guys, this really makes sense. When a guy has fallen hard for you, he’ll act in certain ways. His love for you will shake you to your very core. There will be no mixed feelings on his side and he’ll make sure you know how he feels about you.

Here are 10 clear signs that show that he’s fallen hard for you:

1. He’s not afraid to say “I love you.”

He doesn’t hesitate to say the three magical words to you and when he does that, he really means it. He would never say something like this to you with the intention to use you and leave you after he’s done with you.

2. He talks about you to his friends.

If you think that guys only talk about football, you’re wrong. This guy has fallen hard for you, and now, you’re all that occupies his thoughts. That’s why he can’t stop talking about you to his friends.

3. He spends most of his time with you.

He can be tired or busy, but he’ll always make time for you.  He’ll never make you feel neglected. You’re the most important person in his life and nothing makes him feel happier than when he’s with you.

4. He is happy when you are happy.

When a guy is truly in love with you, he’ll make sure you feel like you’re the happiest person in the world. If he notices that there’s something that upsets you, he’ll go out of his way to fix it. Or when you’re sad, he’ll always know what the right thing to say is so as to comfort and make you smile.

5. He notices every single thing about you.

He notices details about you that other people don’t. He knows all your quirks and habits. He knows how you move the lips when you smile. He knows you cry at sad movies. He knows everything about you because you mean the world to him.

6. He looks at you with adoration.

You’ll know he’s fallen hard for you when you catch him looking at you in the loving and happy way that only people who truly love can look at their loved one. His adoration for you is something that no words can describe.  

7. He is ready to commit to you.

You’ll know he’s madly in love with you when he starts making plans about the two of you for the future. Or when he starts saving money because he wants to move in with you. He can’t wait to see you walking down the aisle towards him.

8. He shows you off to other people.

He’s proud of you and he’ll make sure all his friends and family members know about you. So, if he introduces you to them early in your relationship, you can be sure, you occupy a special place in his heart.

9. He treats you like a lady.

Who said gentlemen don’t exist? That’s exactly how he’ll treat you. His hug will be gentle. His kiss – the softest thing you’ve ever felt. His touch will be delicate and warm. He’ll always be gentle and kind towards you. 

10. He only has eyes for you.

There’s no place for another woman in his heart. He doesn’t flirt with or notice when other women are flirting with him. This guy is madly in love with you and he’ll make sure you know you’re the only one in his life. 

Image: Bel Zamarbide

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