By clear-cut definition, manipulators are people who lie for a living in order to get what they want, either this way or that. They are ruthless, lack normal human empathic emotions, and best of all, they are great at it.

Manipulators can be creative at heart

Obviously, it takes a clever and creative person to endure such a character. They need the intelligence, wittiness and artful skill of manipulation to succeed in their dirty deeds. However bad it may be, it is a skillful character trait and not everyone can pull it off.

They can also be biased

Manipulators do not have a soft heart. They can be conniving and biased, not thinking twice about the mess they make trying to get what they are after. They will go at all lengths to achieve their goals, regardless of anything. In fact, this is one of their main characteristics.

Sinister, you say.

Yes, indeed they are. They are the type of individuals who do not care of even give thought to other people’s feelings and emotions; therefore, they will do what is necessary to get their way.

They will use an inceptive method and try to make subtle suggestions in order to get the outcome they want. Manipulators will try to make you think it was “your idea” to begin this. Yes, this is how good they can be.

They can, however be spotted in their pallet of lies, if you only listen. Manipulators use certain phrases to achieve their objectives, which can be recognized.

“You are too soft-hearted”.

Manipulators often use this adjective to try to make you believe you are too soft at heart, which is why your feelings are hurt. Even if that is the case and you are a softhearted person that does not give them, the right to make it seem like this is a negative trait to encompass. 

Furthermore, how else are you supposed to respond to someone that is mistreating you? Do they expect you to simply let it slide all the time? If that if the case, it shouldn’t be. Soft people have the right to raise their voice and tell manipulators what they are doing wrong, why and how it makes them feel.

“You overthink everything”.

As individuals with strong emotions and a rational mind, we often do tend to overthink things. We even tend to overthink and sweat the small stuff, which may not be the healthiest thing to for take. However, when speaking to and about manipulators, the story is a different one.

No one can and should blame you if you are overthinking and analyzing things that a deceptive person has said to you. They are always onto something, to trying to rationalize their behavior and words by really looking into what they say may be a smart idea.

Manipulators are always lurking, scheming and deceiving. Being alert and cautious is the only way to say yourself and everyone around you from the deceitful mind of a true manipulator.

Therefore, the next time you are told to stop overanalyzing a manipulator’s words and actions, be reminded that this is the only way to find the underlying cause in their sea of lies.

“I dislike making a scene”.

This could not be more wrong. Manipulators love making scenes, even if it wreaks havoc on everyone around them. They love attention more than anyone so putting on a performance or even participating in one to complicate things is one of their favorite tasks they pretend to hate.

However, do not be fooled by this. Making a scene is where they thrive, but in the dark. They do not shout or make it obvious that they are making a scene. They do it in very sneaky, manipulative ways that can hardly go noticed.

One other thing they master is throwing you under the bus. Deceitful individuals will make you think you are in the wrong and should be the one to apologize and fix it. You are left feeling down and frankly, clueless and confused.

“You do not comprehend what I am saying.”

Blaming others for not comprehending what they are saying is the most common thing manipulators do and quite well, really. When they are caught red-handed in their web of lies, their best bet is to make you feel incompetent and plain out stupid by telling you that you do not understand where they are coming from.

The best way to recognize a phony is by this exact phrase. If you hear this far too often from the same person, be sure to investigate further and try to get to the bottom of their deceptions.

These type of people thrive on the hurt of others, so when they see you are confused and hurt because you do not understand what is being said, they are winning.

“Your actions are quite unreasonable”.

Making others confused and lost by what they are saying is a masterful skill of a typical manipulator. They also tend to try to make people think they are being ridiculous when contradicting what they are saying. When they persist on doing this, it gives you a feeling of uncertainty and you start to question yourself.

The next time you are faced with any of these phrases and recognize the manipulator in action, take nothing to heart. It is always them, and never you. They can be very persuasive, conniving and witty. Manipulators are very skilled at what they do and can easily fool anyone. If you do not have any experience with such a deceitful person, be cautious.

Even smart individuals can find themselves tangled in the web of lies crafted by manipulators. Never take anything they say too seriously and feel bad about it. Most of the time, if not all the time, manipulators are the ones in the wrong, no matter what they say.

They can make you feel confused and that your behavior and reactions are irrational, but do not fall prey to their lies. Simply smile, nod and ignore.

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Experiencing emotional abuse as a child can lead to serious issues in adulthood. The pain may wane with time, but its effects stay long with the abused person and they can affect his/her personality and the relationships with other people.

Emotional abuse is a serious problem. It can scar the child for life. So, parents, be careful! No child deserves to be abused in any way. No one has the right to shape someone’s life in such an abusive way with horrible consequences.

Below are some things that experience only adults who have been emotionally abused in their childhood. The Mighty had a discussion with its community on this subject and their testimonies were heartbreaking:

AVOIDING CONFLICTS

If you have been a victim of emotional abuse in the past, you got used to your parents’ constant fighting and shouting. It left you feeling scared then, and it leaves you scared every time you get into a confrontation. This is because, for you, shouting triggers a painful memory from your childhood.

NOT KNOWING HOW TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

When you’ve spent your whole childhood with abusive parents who were constantly pointing out your mistakes, and were making you feel like nothing you do is enough for them – you can sure feel awkward when someone tells your worth because you are not used to it.

You are not used to someone admiring and supporting you because you’ve spent the majority of your life feeling unsupported and without a shoulder to cry on – and this is one of the worst feelings in the world.

OBSESSION FOR PERFECTION

You are driven by your need for perfection because as a kid you were constantly trying to impress your parents. And your parents were not satisfied with anything you did. You were probably overachiever as a kid, and you were constantly proving yourself to others. This need for perfection stays with you and it can be a negative thing for you and those around you.

LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM

The lack of belief in yourself is deeply integrated within you from your childhood. During that time you were probably doing everything you can to please your parents and make them proud of you.

However, little did you know that this can lead you to doubt your every move later on. You seek validation in others, and you feel like you are doing the wrong thing every time.

BLAMING ONLY YOURSELF (EVEN IF IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT)

Having always been accused of something in your childhood, you are now always taking the blame for everything that happens. You say “I am sorry” way too often and you apologize for things that are not even your fault.

SOCIALLY AWKWARD

Emotional abuse has led you to fear any kind of social situation. Places like school, work, or social gatherings scare you because you feel awkward when being around many people. Nothing compares with the safety of your home.

TRUST ISSUES

If you have experienced emotional trauma as a kid, it is very possible that you have severe trust issues as an adult. You don’t feel comfortable, or close enough, to someone to reveal your deepest fears and secrets. You think that people are selfish and they will betray you if you give them the chance. So, your solution is to avoid them.

ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION Because you have been bottling up your feelings every time, you are now experiencing clinical depression. Your anxiety attacks are also a result from that. You cannot handle stressful situations because as a kid you were taught that it is not okay to become emotional.

OVERLY DEFENSIVE

In order to not be hurt again, you learned how to hold your walls high enough, not allowing anyone to get close to you. Your negativity and rudeness can be parts of this barrier that you have built to keep you safe from people hurting you.

PEOPLE PLEASER

Your parents were your ‘authority’ as you were growing up. They taught you to always respect and (fear) them. So now, you have become a people pleaser. You are afraid of authorities and you are trying hard to please them because you fear that you will somehow get into trouble.

EXPLAINING ALL YOUR ACTIONS

If you have experienced an emotional abuse, you can definitely relate to this. You are so self-conscious and insecure in your interaction with others that you feel constant need to always explain your every move. You do this because you don’t want them to judge you or misinterpret your actions.

DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT

You tend to get overly shy around people. You constantly struggle with having a voice to speak up for yourself. This is because you tend to think that no one is interested in hearing what you have to say.

NOT STANDING FOR YOURSELF

You are scared of speaking up. You are scared of taking action and standing up for yourself because you have never done that. You have run away from conflicts your entire life. You have become so passive that you let others walk over you and make decisions for you.

HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS

You have lived your whole life with everyone telling you what to do and how are you supposed to feel, that you lost your identity in the process. You don’t know who you are deep down, and you don’t know what you want from life either.

BOTTLED UP ANGER

When you haven’t learned how to deal with anger when you were young, it is so much harder to deal with it as an adult. This anger inside of you that you were bottling up inside of you for years, can burst out in the most unpleasant way possible.

So, it is essential to learn how to control and deal with your emotions from the young age, so you don’t have problems like this in the future.

Have you ever experienced emotional abuse in your childhood? Do you have any of these things happening to you right now? You must tackle the problem first in order to find a solution.

Then you must accept the problem and if it is one because of emotional abuse, my advice is to seek professional help because there is not much that you can do about it yourself.

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Depression is a difficult mental disease that most of the time stays hidden within the affected person. These individuals have inner struggles and no one is able to help them deal with them.

Most of the time, this is the case simply because these individuals are not keen on sharing problems and difficulties with others and prefer hiding their feelings.

This article is all about making these people more visible to you, in order to try to help them or simply address a professional for that matter.

Here are 11 habits of people with concealed depression:

1.Talented and expressive

Mental diseases are quite common among celebrities. When dealing with this condition people become more emotional and being emotional often contributes to one’s success.

Most of us cannot see the difficulties they have, but they play a big role in their work. In a manner of speaking, it is like they have the ability to create a masterpiece out of the struggles they battle every day.

2. They search for a purpose

Every individual wants to know their reason for existing. And it is quite normal to seek the answer to this question.  The difference between a normal individual and a person who is suffering from depression is that depressive people are never satisfied with their reason for existing.

They feel that they are not good enough to do something meaningful for the society. It’s like they have set the bar too high, and therefore they can never achieve what they think is enough to be worth living for.

3. Sometimes, they silently ask for help

Often we don’t see the need for help in someone. The reason is that most of the people are not expressing their emotions in a way we can see it. If you notice that someone is down and is trying to ask for help not knowing how to really ask that means they trust you and they needs help.

He or she simply doesn’t know how to express their struggle. If you feel their need for help, do anything you can to help them.

4. They look differently on drugs and food

People dealing with depression know which substances can make them feel better. They understand that coffee or chocolate can make them feel better. The truth is that simply consuming this won’t help them much.

The main effort in feeling better is up to them to make, and it takes a big effort to do it. But of course, medications and food are important to them and play a big factor in dealing with their condition.

5. They often think about life and death

Individuals suffering from depression often think about their life and its end. They have the tendency to think of dark scenarios for their life. Sometimes they even have suicidal thoughts. Be aware, not all depressive people are thinking of taking their life.

However, when that’s the case, a professional help is needed. A nonprofessional can cause more damage than good, so be careful if you feel that someone has suicidal thoughts.

6. Strange eating habits

This habit is different on an individual level. Some people dealing with depression have the need to eat more when they feel bad since they replace sadness with food. Others have lack of appetite when feeling down.

7. Irregular sleep

People struggling with depression might have trouble sleeping, and often are facing insomnia. On the other hand, the same individual can sometimes oversleep and stay in bed all day. Most of the time, when they sleep abnormally long, it is because they are emotionally exhausted and there is nothing else to do about it.

8. Feeling abandoned

Often, people who were left by a loved one can feel abandoned. This is quite normal after ending a relationship. But people who are suffering from depression have this feeling constantly, even when they are surrounded with the people they love.

The fear of being left behind causes them to hide the problems they have simply because they fear that those problems will be the reason for being left behind.

9. They are extremely good in hiding stories and coming up with cover ups

They have the ability to cover up their bad emotional state very fast. They easily construct a story when they need to find an excuse for actions caused by their feelings.

10. Lifestyle changes

Most of the time, people are trying physical activities to feel better. You can often see people who are dealing with depression jogging or walking.

Other things they do often except exercising is listening to music. They do these things as often as possible simply to feel the relief they get from doing it.

11. They are trying to seem happy

People who are suffering from depression don’t want to upset other people with their problems. Therefore, they will try to fake that they are feeling great.

They want everyone to think that they are fine, and they deal with their demons alone. They are afraid that they might drag you into their problems and transfer it to you.

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If I were to ask you: Which factor do you think is the most important one when it comes to relationships, what would you say?

Some of you may think that the key factor for a healthy relationship is connection and sexual chemistry; others will say it is honesty and communication. Well, neither is right, according to one psychologist.

John Kim, an expert in his field, he said that the most important factor in a relationship is respect.

He says that without respect a relationship could not survive. If you’ve ever been in a relationship which lacked respect, you know why respect is so important. Simply put: You can’t have a healthy relationship without respect because respect creates trust, and trust is the foundation of every great relationship.

Simply put: You can’t have a healthy relationship without respect because respect creates trust, and trust is the foundation of every great relationship.

So, let’s define respect.

Oxford dictionary defines respect as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”

John Kim doesn’t agree entirely with this definition. In his opinion, respect means something else in relationships. He says:

So, first, you have to ask yourself: Is there respect in your relationship? And if there is not, the most important question to ask yourself is: Have all your relationships lacked respect? Has this become a pattern in your life? If your answer is ‘yes’ then you should ask yourself – Why?  

Why would you stay in a relationship without respect? You should look for the answer within yourself. Don’t blame your partner. Maybe there was respect at first, but then it slowly diminished.

Anyway, the following question arises:

How can you stop this from happening in the future?

The first and most important step is: Don’t ever compromise yourself.

If your partner doesn’t respect you and doesn’t meet your needs – it is time to call it quits. If you lower your standards and accept any kind of bullshit behavior out of love, chances are you’ll become less worthy in your partner’s eyes.

Respect yourself enough to be able to walk away from someone who doesn’t respect you.

Parents are the most important people in children’s life. They are their children’s guardians towards adulthood. They are the ones children look up to. Parents are there to support and teach their children important life lessons.

Children think that their parents are not just ordinary people. In their eyes, their parents become some sort of superheroes – there is nothing that mom and dad can’t do.

That is why it is essential for parents to be aware of how they talk to their children because every word and action from their parents can get stuck in their psyche for life.

These are phrases that you should NEVER utter to your children no matter what:

“STOP CRYING RIGHT NOW!”

You should not say this phrase to your child even if you feel that there is not a reason for crying. They are kids; they don’t know how to control their emotions yet. However, by saying this to your children, you teach them that it is not okay to have emotions and be emotional, which can be dangerous because they will suppress their emotions in the future and that is not a good thing.

Try saying something like this instead: “It is okay to cry, but you must understand that the thing you did was wrong.”

“I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”

This is a phrase that parents usually say to their children when they did something wrong. Your children already know that what they did was wrong and are feeling guilty about that, so you telling them they have disappointed you will only worsen the situation. You must support them in their hard times – not make them feel like a disappointment.

Say this instead: “What you did was really wrong. Let’s talk about that, okay?”

“YOU ARE NOT (SOMETHING) ENOUGH!”

You will hurt your children deeply if you tell them that they lack something; be it externally or internally. These words will stay with them and can make them insecure when they grow up.

You should try saying: “You are (something]) enough, but if you want we can work harder on it.”

“BIG BOYS/GIRLS DON’T GET SCARED.”

This is not true. Everyone gets scared. It is human. Telling your kids to not be afraid doesn’t make their fears to magically disappear. You should teach your children how to face their fears instead of escaping from them.

You should say something like: “Everyone gets scared. It is okay to feel scared sometimes, but I’ll try to help you to overcome your fear.”

“YOU ARE WORTHLESS.”

You should never ever say this phrase to your children. They see you as someone who they can trust and admire, and when they hear you say this phrase guess what?  – They will believe you. They will think that they are worthless indeed, and this feeling will stay with them even when they are grownups. They will constantly seek approval from others.

Try saying this instead: “No one is perfect honey, you will do better next time.”

“YOU ARE A BAD KID!”

We all make mistakes. As adults and as children everyone has made some, and will still make in the future. You should never let one mistake from your kid to speak for his/her overall personality. Mistakes don’t define a person, but telling your children this phrase will make them feel like they are innately bad.

Try using this phrase instead: “I hope you understand that what you did was wrong.”

“I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU”

Well, if you don’t do everything for your children, who will? You are their parent, you are supposed to do everything for your children and never make them feel like they owe you something by saying this phrase to them. They didn’t choose to be born in the first place.

“YOU ARE FAT.”

If your kid is really fat, he/she probably knows this. They have heard this insult probably from the other kids. You should not ever insult and tear down your kids this way. This leads them to feel self-conscious and to have a negative image of their body in the future. You should make them feel loved and appreciated – not bullied.

You should instead motivate them to lose weight by saying something like: “I am thinking about starting to eat healthy and getting into shape. Do you want to join me? I don’t want to do it alone.”

Love your children for who they are, and try to motivate them instead of insulting them by using these words.  

SHARING IS CARING!

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