Many people have tried to let go of negative habits with little to no success. Be it smoking, compulsive eating, or even wasting precious time scrolling mindlessly through the social media applications, habits are not a child’s play.

Habits are the product of our brains, and fighting them is extremely hard, as the processes they represent are one of the most evolutionary-conserved learning processes known to science. Breaking habits come as a result of a change in the neural pathways in the brain.

It is true that forming a pattern is easier than changing one, so instead of forcing yourself to change something you have already learned, the best way to break the habit is to form a new pattern, based on the already existing one.

So, how to create a new pattern in the place of the one that so strongly prevails in our daily functioning?

Here are 9 easy steps you can practice every day.

1. Recognize and set your mind on it

The first step to solving any problem is admitting to yourself that you have one. You may have heard this one so far, but how much are you really aware of the negative habit? And most importantly, how willing are you to change it?

Start analyzing the habit mindfully; recognize every part of it; accept it; set your intention.

When you set your intention firmly, you start moving things in the direction of achieving that intention. Make that intention your ambition and be aware of everything it involves.

2. Analyze the effect the habit has on you

While analyzing the elements that make up the habit, turn your focus on how that habit affects you. And we’re not talking whether if that habit is healthy or not. Knowing the facts never worked, why should it now?

Instead, see what emotions that habit triggers; accept those emotions; let go of those emotions the moment they come. You need to become aware of everything that is going on inside you.

3. Shift your focus

Habits are the result of actions that seem rewarding to the brain, which means you need to start giving yourself new rewards that would be more beneficial to you.

Learn why that habit feels rewarding and try to find some other activity that would produce a similar (or better) rewarding effect.

Does smoking relax you? Next time you feel the urge, why not go for a walk outside, or perhaps even for a run? You will feel even more relaxed from that. Or perhaps you feel better after eating some nice sugary comfort food? Why not try almonds instead? The tryptophan they contain is sure to boost your serotonin.

4. Use your imagination

Whatever you decide to take on as a new habit, rewind it in your mind whenever you can. Daydream about it while you are not at it. Strengthening the positive thoughts that relate to that habit will surely boost your enthusiasm and trigger a positive feeling in your brain that will strengthen the new neural pathways.

5. Pay attention to your thoughts

Your thoughts will surely pop the old habits in your head. However, being aware of those thoughts is a very important step to letting them go. Just like in meditation, turning your focus to a more peaceful activity (like breathing) is a good way to let those thoughts pass and leave.

Whenever a thought related to your old habit emerges, simply communicate a “no” back or “cancel” it and let it go away.

6. Try aversion therapy

This kind of approach does not work well for everybody, but if you think it is going to do you any good, you could give it a shot.

Remember the nasty images on the cigarette packs? They are put there to simply gross you out. Well, why not start imagining the worst-case scenario for each of your negative habits?

Like for sweets, for example, tell yourself that they were made in factories, that they have been intentionally made that way to make you addicted to them, or that they make you feel really bad.

7. Make a specific plan

When you are aware of every aspect of your habit, create a solid plan on how to handle each situation and what activities to take up. Make it official in your head and keep the decision with you at all times.

Letting your brain know that you are working toward achieving a goal and that you are focusing on each of the specifics that work involves, your brain will acknowledge this and will work with you.

8. Shift your point of view

Many people are afraid of the obstacles that are sure to arise in such a big challenge. Take the inevitability of obstacles as a challenge and transform your fear into courage.

You should be aware that you are stepping out of a comfort zone and that there is a challenge outside which you need to tackle. Make a distinction between the emotions that are caused by leaving the old habit and those which inspire you to move forward and look at the negative emotions from a different angle.

9. Don’t make your plan public

It has been scientifically proven that revealing your personal plans publicly ruins the outcome – especially if people put their trust into your ability to achieve it. This is because your brain starts associating you with the image you are trying to present, and you will soon stop working toward achieving that image (as it has already been achieved in your mind.)

So, don’t brag about it, as you don’t really need the approval for doing something which is healthy for you. Instead, focus on doing it and tell the others when you have achieved.

Whatever habit you are trying to break, you should know that you have all it takes to succeed. Put more trust in yourself and never underestimate your potential to change the reality according to your intentions and ambitions. 

Source: Conscious Reminder

Even with the knowledge that no lie stays hidden forever, you should not allow being made a fool of by the person you want to trust the most. And with today’s technology, it has never been easier to trace the activity of a careless cheater.

There are the obvious telltale signs, like a sudden change in food and music interests, new wardrobe, and weight loss. However, some cheaters are more careful not to get caught by the obvious signs.

So, how to spot if your partner is cheating if they are hiding it so well? No matter how much they are able to hide it, there are some subtle changes in their behavior. Taking notice of these 12 things will point to whether your partner may be cheating or not.

1. Defensive attitude toward cheating

You tell your partner of someone who cheated on their partner, and he suddenly starts portraying a defensive attitude toward the cheater: “Well, perhaps he/she wasn’t happy enough,” or “What can you do… People cheat all the time.”

You are aware that he would not feel happy if the same happened to them, so, how come he is suddenly being defensive toward the topic? Well, he wouldn’t like to condemn himself, would he?

2. You are suddenly the target of analysis

Your cordiality toward people, or your free attitude toward some things in life is what he always loved about you. But now, every look or smile at another person seems to antagonize him and he cannot remain still.

Being aware that cheating is not something so far-fetched (being involved in an affair himself) makes him think that you could be up to something as well.

3. A change in habits

Coming back home and running to the shower first? That was not something he would have done before, so, how come he is doing it now? Or perhaps having a drink which he usually reserves for the weekend?

4. Driving alone

You usually go to places together, you hop in the car and you head for work and get back from work in the same car. And suddenly, he/she is coming up with excuses so as not to go together with you.

“Oh, I need to stop at the mall for something, I wouldn’t really want to bother you,” and other excuses made on the spot or deliberately delaying going out so that you have to go alone time and again.

5. New lingo

If you have noticed that your partner has started using an expression that neither of you has ever used, and something which you would probably never use, you should ring the alarm in your head.

We learn such expressions from people we hang out with for a longer period of time. Perhaps he/she picked it up from the lover?

6. Showing interest in things he/she never liked before

“Did you know that the U.S. is the country with the most dogs in the world?” Not that you cared, but you did know that she never liked dogs that much, and that is something you should care about.

She might be absorbing the interests of her lover or just trying to speak about him without saying much.

7. Acting young and wild again

It is no secret that the new love affair can make you feel adventuristic and young again. So, don’t be surprised if that serious man you learned to love suddenly invites you to get “sh*t-faced” for the night.

8. New sexual desires and habits

You know that lingerie hasn’t done much for him so far, but suddenly you see him bringing you some new sexy underwear and wanting you to try it on. It’s his re-awakened libido from the love affair speaking, and, ironically, he wants it to do the same for you.

9. Justifying attractions to other people

You know her to be the jealous type, so how come she is suddenly teasing you about the flight attendant who’s “really your type?” Or the cute neighbor who “was checking out your ass,” which she mentions with a big smile?

Her affair has set her on a guilt-mitigating mission to casually justify attractions toward other people.

10. Avoiding any cheating-related things

The idea that some situations may make him/her betray their cheater side makes them want to avoid anything which is related to cheating. Watching movies with such plot? You can forget it.

No more Fatal Attraction, The Affair, Derailed, you name it. If he/she is in an affair, you can just forget it.

11. Negative change in mood

The guilt from the affair can leave a considerable trace on one’s mood, one filled with anxiety, depression, and stress. Symptoms include disinterest in eating, insomnia, blue mood, and visible stress.

12. Signature blank stare

Trying to make up tiny details about everything connected to the lies he’s been telling has started frying his brain. Now, when you ask him an innocent question about something that has been part of his lies, you can almost see the wheels turning in his head.

“Did I tell her I went there? What did I tell her I was doing there? Is she trying to catch me in my lie?” And what you can see is the faraway look in his eyes you have started noticing far too often.

Any of these subtle changes in behavior can point to the possibility that your partner is up to no good. If you notice anything like this, it’s best that you do some research and confront him/her.

Source: Abby Rodman, Psychotherapist, @Huffington Post

Workouts can sometimes be challenging to the point of giving up. In fact, many people fail at following through a workout because of the mental strain that they start feeling. Simply, some things seem impossible to do, and we lose courage the moment we think of them.

This is not the case for Professional Rock Climber Sasha DiGiulian, who has been climbing since the age of six and has become the first woman in the world to climb 5.14d. In climber language, this is an excruciatingly hard grade and there is a handful of climbers who can say that they have achieved such a climb.

So, what makes DiGiulian succeed in achieving such extreme results? Is there anything we can learn from her persistent and courageous practice? On a Future/Fit panel at SXSW, she revealed the challenges she goes through on a professional level and the lessons that any athlete (professional and amateur) can learn from her experiences.

Similar to having some kind of mantra that helps you to keep going through the workout, DiGiulian’s ritual involved something which takes only a second to do and can help in any difficult challenge, regardless its nature.

“The last thing I do before leaving the ground — whether it’s 100 feet or 1,000 feet — is I smile,” Sasha said. “That puts me in the zone to perform well. Even if smiling isn’t your go-to, find what does put you there and create a habit of it.”

This simple trick goes well beyond the fake-it-till-you-make-it trick. It has been proven that smiling indeed improves our mood, fights stress, and gradually changes our tendency to tilt toward negative thoughts. Simply said, it is among the most powerful tools we possess.

So, next time you want to give up because something seems too difficult, smile and give it a try. Even if you don’t really feel like smiling, force one smile and see how you will feel better than the minute before you smiled. All the courage you need is bottled up in a single smile.

Source: PopSugar

Creativity is not only about artistic thought, as many people falsely think. It is the ability to ‘create’ something new out of the things that are already present and known. It is the ability to break the box and let your brain process information in a way that will allow you to make new breakthroughs, handle your daily challenges in a different way, or express yourself in the most efficient way.

Creative thought is what keeps the world moving forward. And it seems that the way our society has started functioning is a way that kills this creative process in our brains. We engage our brains into processing information in every moment of our day, be it at work, or while we presumably “relax.”

Forcing your brain to constantly process information, keeping it busy at all times is what new research has found to be the greatest enemy to creativity. And this includes your leisure time wasted on scrolling through your social media apps.

As Emma Seppälä, a Science Director at Stanford University, explains, “creativity happens when your mind is unfocused, daydreaming or idle.”

The research done by psychologists at the University of California has concluded that people are indeed more creative after allowing their minds to wander and daydream. Even when we focus on doing something challenging, it has been found that allowing your mind to wander off before focusing on the task results in handling it in the optimal and most inventive way.

What we consider as leisure time that usually involves immersing ourselves in our phones, watching Netflix movies for hours, and engaging ourselves in things that put loads of work on our brains that process that information.

And this is not leisure time for the brain. While you let your body rest, or take your mind off the actual problems in life, redirecting your focus on something else is something which is an additional informational burden for your brain.

This means that we never truly relax, we never let our thoughts drift away, and we have truly forgotten how it feels to daydream. We consciously kill our creativity, and we are seemingly happy about it.

As we said before, creativity has a lot to do with how you go through life. Everything you do can be done better if you set your mind to think more creatively and out of the box. So, how can you help your brain to relax?

Emma Seppälä has some very good suggestions that will not disrupt your daily patterns.

Take long walks (without your phone)

Creative geniuses like J.R.R. Tolkien, and Charles Dickens, did this. Even Nikola Tesla got his insight about rotating magnetic fields after taking long walks.

A Stanford University study has found that people who took long walks outside scored higher on creative thinking tests than those who did not. And let’s be real: walks are very relaxing and refreshing.

Get out of your comfort zone

The comfort zone is the enemy of growth. You will never imagine how all things (almost magically) connect to one another until you start experiencing that connection. And the best way to do it is to stop focusing so much on what you already know and get to explore the different things that this world has to offer.

“…Take up a new skill or class. Travel to new places and socialize with people outside your industry,” says Seppälä. This research-backed approach promises broader thinking and more innovative approaches to challenges.

Give yourself some playtime

Fun and games are not only for children. In fact, keeping your inner child satisfied will boost your happiness and creativity by a million. Research has found that introducing play in your day contributes to better mood and increased inventiveness.

So, join your kids in a game of Twister, play fetch with your dog, join a sports group or an improv group. Whatever makes you feel satisfied and fulfilled, do it and do not think of the consequences, because there are none. Benefits, on the other hand? Many.

Alternate between focusing and wandering/daydreaming

Focusing on something 100% never gives the best results. Alternating between focusing and doing something that is less intellectually demanding, on the other hand, lets your brain process all the information you cannot consciously cope with.

Adam Grant, Wharton School management professor and author of Give & Take, suggests that by swapping between intense focus and wandering/daydreaming will give your brain the much-needed downtime it needs to rearrange the information in your head more easily.

So, make a checklist and throw it away every time you get to one of these four points. Spend less time on your phone and more time outside, and give your brain a break if you want it to work to your benefit.

Creativity is THE most important thing you need to get through life and succeed. Hard work comes second.

Source: Quartz