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Parents Are Damaging Generations and They Are Calling It Love

By
Elizabeth Williams

Being a parent is a tough job. You never know if you are doing things right for your child, although your sole wish is to have a happy and fulfilled kid who will grow into a successful adult. However, many parents choose the easiest way to make their kid happy.

Unfortunately, the easiest way isn’t always the best way. The problem with today’s generation of parents is that they think that showering their children with gifts whenever they wish for one is doing the right thing.

Unfortunately, this creates a generation of ungrateful and spoiled children who think that everything in the world is unconditionally theirs for the taking. And how does it get to this? Lots and lots of ‘everything my child desires.’

It’s true that every parent wants to see their children happy and fulfilled. However, this doesn’t always mean that their every wish has to be satisfied for the mere reason that it’s your child who expresses that wish.

So, what many parents do is they shower their children in gifts and work their souls off to satisfy the new demands from their child. You will see children playing games on their iPhones at age 5, and living with their noses high in the clouds as their mommy and daddy fulfill their every new request ‘to be happy’.

This damaging behavior teaches the children that love is expressed and measured in items bought. Soon they start learning of the price of things, but not their true value. And what’s more valuable than genuine love and affection? Not toys and gadgets for sure.

This unhealthy attitude toward life and its true values will inevitably turn the innocent child into a lazy, arrogant, and spoiled one, who cannot see the true worth of communication and bonding with others.

They will start defining life in the measure of possessions, rather than the connection they have with those around them. This derailing from the actual reality will make them too hard to handle for other people, and they will never look at love as an emotion, but rather as giving material things.

Remember parents, showering your child with gifts may make them happy for the moment, but that happiness will not last for long. Life is about people and time spent together, not about possessions.

The job of a parent is not that of a wishing machine – life is not a wishing machine. You should know that some decisions will not make your kid smile, and that’s just normal. And while the easiest way is to fulfill their every wish, the healthiest way is to talk things through and have them understand the reason behind your decision to say no.

Make a difference between ‘need’ and ‘want’ and discuss this difference with your children. Spend time with them and bond with them. Real love is stronger and lasts longer than any material thing.

Image Copyright: deksbakh / 123RF Stock Photo

Never Marry A Man With These 15 Habits (Even If You Think You Love Him): No. 7 Is A Deal Breaker!

By
Elizabeth Williams

Love is blind – everybody knows that. It is not seldom that people in love tend to make the craziest of choices, for which they later regret dearly. That’s why when stepping into the more turbulent waters of marriage and mutual life, one should consider more than what the heart has to say.

It’s very important to choose wisely who you’re going to spend your life with. Even if you make the wrong decision, divorce is an option – but who would like to come to that? Instead, being cautious and aware of some habits can save you a lot of pain and trouble.

If your significant other exhibits these 15 behaviors, you should definitely reconsider your choice and think twice before jumping into marriage.

  1. He doesn’t trust you

What is a relationship if not a unity of mutual trust? If you’ve never given your partner a reason to be mistrusted and he still checks your phone and sets restrictions on your male friends, you should definitely be careful.

This habit will worsen when you step into marriage, and you will end up living a life full of restrictions and jealous outbursts for no reason. You wouldn’t like your children to learn that their significant others shouldn’t be trusted by default.

  1. He hates animals

Who doesn’t love animals? Of course, you can be afraid of certain animals for many reasons. But if he hates animals in general, then run. People who hate animals show a lack of kindness and empathy.

This crude and careless attitude toward beings that would never do you harm means that he might not be a great father figure as well. In general, people who don’t like any animals are mean and selfish.

  1. He doesn’t stick to the agreed

Every couple has some kind of agreements on which they base their day-to-day life. These commonly agreed rules are what makes the relationship prosper and evolve. From the simple chores like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, to dedicating time for each other, these are the things that make up a healthy relationship.

If he doesn’t follow the agreements and always finds a good excuse for that, you should be aware that he won’t stop letting you down. And don’t forget that actions speak louder than words. If he doesn’t start functioning for the common good, then he won’t learn to do that in marriage.

  1. He breaks promises

Agreements are one thing, promises are another thing. If he breaks the promises he made, then don’t put your hopes in him learning to do that when you get married. Saying ‘yes’ means that you agree to put up with what he is, and he won’t change that attitude easily.

A promise means a commitment. If he cannot commit to you, then what good is that to you?

  1. He gives you secondary treatment

Wasting your time on a person who doesn’t want to be with you completely is not something you need in your life. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that the ‘official’ status and his physical presence is enough.

If he doesn’t care about the relationship and doesn’t put some effort into making it the best he can, he will never start to do so. So, don’t waste your time and fool yourself that he’ll change and leave.

  1. He thinks he’s perfect

Nobody is perfect. And confidence is one thing, but arrogance and narcissism are something you don’t want to have around. If he cannot admit his mistakes and work on becoming better than yesterday, then you have a problem.

If he thinks that he’s always right, then he’d expect you to constantly correct yourself and change everything about you to fit into his world picture. This narrow-mindedness and lack of compromise will eventually drain you out and leave an empty shell of what you once were.

  1. Excuses, excuses

Of course, not everything can go smoothly, and sometimes there are good reasons for some things. But if he always finds excuses for everything, then he’s just not that into you, but more into what he had planned and ignored about you.

Find someone who will try his best to live up to the relationship and your mutual arrangements. Otherwise, you’ll feel stood up and left to do things by yourself. You wouldn’t want that, would you?

  1. He brings out old fights

Arguments are a healthy thing in a relationship, as long as they stick to the current problem and aim to a resolution. But if he brings up old fights, he’s just trying to turn your focus away from the actual problem and disorient your perception.

Bringing up old arguments and conflicts brings a lot of negativity to the relationship, and these things lead to nowhere. It just points to a high dose of immaturity and a wish to ‘control’ the situation by putting you in the victim position for no good reason.

  1. He doesn’t bother to talk to you

Misunderstandings are normal to occur in a relationship. Of course, no two people are the same. What is important is the ability and will to discuss and talk through the problem, so that both can understand each other’s viewpoints.

If he doesn’t bother to discuss things with you and ignores what you have to say, then it shows how much he cares about your opinion and attitude toward the problem that has popped out. This will lead to unsolved issues and eventually to a lot of trouble in communication.

  • He lies

White lies are always acceptable, as long as they don’t do harm to the relationship. However, lying about big things is dangerous and if it’s happened once, it will happen again.

If he broke your trust by lying to you or cheating on you, you will find it hard to fall asleep feeling happy and secure about your relationship. You wouldn’t like to start developing an anxiety over what he’s doing when he’s not with you or what he’s hiding from you.

  1. He’s too clingy

Obsessive men tend to do anything to spend all their time with their partners. It’s very nice to have someone loving you with his whole heart, but if he has replaced his dreams and ambitions with the idea that being with you is enough, it can get very messy.

Eventually, you’ll end up losing your way into the world, just as he has, and you’ll be both doomed to a mediocre life. You should find someone who is independent and complete but chooses to be with you because you complete them.

  1. He hates his family

Family is important. And no matter how many disagreements they may have, hate should not be a part of it. If he has learned to hate his parents, then he hasn’t learned the true meaning of being part of a family.

If he doesn’t understand and appreciate how much his family has contributed to his life, then he won’t understand how much he should put into his own family once you have children. You don’t want the circle to continue with you and your children.

  1. He is prone to dangerous addictions

Be it gambling, alcoholism, or drugs, if he shows these tendencies, then he will become a very big problem for the family. Families have been left homeless because of such addictive habits.

If he is addicted to something which is both dangerous for himself and those around him, then either try to help him get out of that way, or you get out of his way. You don’t want you and your children to suffer because of that.

  1. He’s immature

Taking responsibility for things is very important. Sometimes things will go wrong because of circumstances which he cannot control, but if he always blames others for his problems, then he’s just being childish.

If he is stubborn, impatient, arrogant, and spoilt, you don’t want to stick around him either.

  1. He’s abusive

This is the worst kind of behavior. If he hits you once, he’ll hit you every other time as well. Walk away and don’t look back! Abusive spouses harm not only their partners but the family.

And then, it doesn’t have to be physical. He can abuse you emotionally, financially, you name it. Any kind of abuse should not be tolerated and you need to walk out while you still can.

Source: Peacequarters.com

Left-Handed People Are Officially Smarter, Science Confirms

By
Elizabeth Williams

Many of the greatest people in history, like Aristotle, Da Vinci, Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Winston Churchill, Paul McCartney, Jimi Hendrix, Neil Armstrong, Pel, (and the list can go on) have one thing in common:

They were/are left-handed.

And according to scientists, this may not be a coincidence.

In a world that is dominated by the right hand, left-handed people often find themselves forced to adapt to certain items which force them to use their right hand. This, it turns out, has given them the advantage of becoming superior in information processing.

First, to understand how a lefty functions, you need to understand hand preference is a result of the function of the brain and is thus related to cognition.

Many left-handed people have a more developed right brain hemisphere. This gives them the upper hand in processes such as spatial reasoning and the ability to mentally rotate representations of objects.

Another thing lefties have shown to possess is a larger corpus callosum. This is the bundle of nerves that connects the two brain hemispheres. It means that this increased connectivity between their hemispheres allow them to process information at a superior level.

While the reason behind this is unclear, it has been speculated that their adaptation to a right-hand dominated world has caused this increased connectivity between their hemispheres.

Left-handedness and mathematics

Another widely discussed topic among scientists has been the notion that left-handed people excel in mathematics. A study published in Frontiers examined this by carrying out a series of experiments on 2,300 primary and high school students.

In this study, the participants were given the option to choose on the extent to which they use their left or right hand, such as when drawing, writing, throwing, brushing, and other things. The research team wanted to know if the participants were combining the use of their hands, or used exclusively their dominant hand.

Image Credit: Denise Krebs

In the experiments, they gave the participants a series of mathematical tasks ranging from simple arithmetic to difficult problem-solving tasks, such as associating mathematical functions to a given set of data.

The results showed that while there was no difference in hand preference when the task was not so demanding, the left-handed participants excelled in the difficult problem-solving tasks.

They also found that extreme right-handers performed worse in all scenarios when compared to those who used their right hand moderately and those who were left-handed.

Their findings have led to the conclusion that left-handed people do have an advantage in solving complex mathematical tasks and that handedness does affect cognition to a certain extent.

As for the connectivity between the hemispheres, even right-handed people could start adapting their left hand for certain uses.

Image Copyright: atic12 / 123RF Stock Photo
Source: IFL Science

So, Is It OK To Be Naked In Front Of Your Children?

By
Elizabeth Williams

This topic may appear to be quite the taboo for many. However, there are those who don’t feel uncomfortable discussing it and doing it. And frankly, there is a lot of benefit behind this habit, as it promotes the idea that one should be comfortable with their body.

Our society has been taught that our body and our sexuality is something to be ashamed of, and we pass on this teaching through our habits which our children observe and learn as the norm.

Being naked in front of your children opposes this tradition, and it promotes an attitude that helps children to develop a healthy self-concept about their body and sexuality. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be a nudist, but let’s discuss what is required.

  1. Children make up their own minds

Children have a mind of their own. No matter how much we think we can influence them through our own behavior, there will always be their opinion on these things which will come as a filter of what they are ready to perceive.

This means that being too open with your bodies can be as disturbing for them as being overly timid and cautious.

So, shrieking and covering up after your child sees you naked as you get out of the shower can send a message to your child that the naked body is shameful and should remain hidden at all times.

Then again, walking around the house naked while you prepare your coffee and thinking that you are demonstrating body acceptance may be too much for a child who is not comfortable seeing their parents’ private parts.

You need to know just how much your child is ready to accept and be aware of their sense of privacy.

  1. Kids have double standards, too

For some kids, there’s a difference between looking and showing. For example, they may feel comfortable with the nudity in the swimming pool change room, but they could still prefer their private stall for changing their own swim suit.

Also, perception plays a big role in how comfortable they are seeing nudity in their friend, to that of seeing an older person nude.

Many social norms and private rules come into play when nudity is in question. Your job is to help them find their way by sending encouraging messages that normalize the perception of the human body and its beauty.

Seeing others nude and revealing their nudity is a matter of personal sense of comfort, so you should always give them the space to find it.

  1. Time changes everything

It’s natural that your child’s perception can change as time passes. A typical example is that of toddlers running around naked but become more self-conscious with time.

Perhaps the most stressful time for a child is during puberty when even the most confident children experience lots of struggles with their changing body. This is when most children prefer to keep these changes to themselves as much as they can.

What should a parent do?

When taking all the variables into consideration, it’s best to:

  1. Maintain a positive attitude toward your own body.
  2. Avoid any disparaging or embarrassing remarks about your child’s body.
  3. Talk openly and share information about the body regularly.
  4. Find a book about the body which your child can read and discuss with you.
  5. Have open discussions as a family on what would work for everybody when nudity comes into question and review your conclusions regularly. If you have a child who chooses to keep their body to themselves, respect their choice and set rules for knocking at the door before walking into the bathroom/bedroom.

So, being naked in front of your kids is alright as long as they feel comfortable with it. You can’t waltz in the kitchen with your private parts if you know that your child might be terrified of the sight, and you shouldn’t terrify them with the idea that being naked is wrong. In the end, it’s a matter of personal choice and compromise.

Image Copyright: dasha11 / 123RF Stock Photo
Source: HuffPost

This Is The Most Important Factor In Academic And Professional Success That We Largely Ignore

By
Elizabeth Williams

Everybody has asked this question at least once in their life: What’s the secret to success? There’s no simple answer to this question. And when you see all the people from different backgrounds succeed in so many things, you can only think that they have some kind of secret recipe for success.

Well, they do.

After studying the most common predictors for success for 10 years, psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth reveals that success doesn’t have much to do with talent or IQ, as most would presume.

What she reveals as the secret recipe for success is what we largely ignore as an important factor: Grit. Grit is the ability to stay persistent against all the odds, with the aim to reach the purpose you have set in your mind.

Check out Duckworth’s TED talk on just how important grit is for academic and professional success and read more below on how you can improve your grit.

So, is there a way to improve your grit? Yes, there is!

Here are 5 ways:

  1. Focus on your self-talk

Failure is equal to success because of the effort put into whatever you are doing. This is very important to understand, as many see failure as something so negative that they would give up just to avoid another potential failure.

The truth is that giving your best effort is the most important thing in handling things, and you should be proud of your efforts. So, praise your efforts and learn from the wrong steps that led to the failure. This will help you push through the obstacles.

  1. Surround yourself with perseverant people

Make your best efforts to be surrounded by people who believe that they can beat the odds. Look for optimistic and positive people and be inspired by their ability to push through difficult times.

  1. Be more flexible in your thoughts

Flexible thought patterns allow for your grit and resilience to blossom. If you observe flexible people, you’ll see that what others see as a problem, they see it as a challenge and an opportunity to grow.

  1. Set tiny goals that align with your purpose

Purpose is the key to a happier life, and the main motivator for grit to emerge. If your purpose is abstract and a bit difficult to define, then set smaller goals which will serve as stepping stones to that purpose. They will help you to be purpose driven every day.

  1. Set a time in your day for reflection

It’s important that you observe your day in a non-judgmental way and reflect on what you have accomplished and what you need to do tomorrow to stay on track. This will help you to stay motivated and energetic toward your purpose.

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According To Relationship Expert, Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More

By
Elizabeth Williams

Arguing can be a real bummer, especially when it’s with your sweetheart. Well, it turns out that you shouldn’t get too discouraged about it, as in fact, it can be the secret recipe to a successful relationship.

Simply said, if you care about someone, you will want to intervene when there’s a problem. And when that’s mutual, you most likely will end up in an argument. Arguments are healthy for a relationship because they serve to point out and solve the problems which obstruct healthy communication and coexistence.

Dr. Pam Spurr, a relationship expert, agrees that bickering can indeed be a positive sign in a relationship. As she tells the HuffPost, it shows that the partners care about each other even if they feel annoyed toward one another.

Holding a disagreement down in yourself will eventually fester into a strong disassociation with and resentment toward your significant other. Arguments help this feeling to emerge to the surface and let you vent these deep feelings and disagreements.

Facing the problem head-on leads to a mutual consensus and a solution to it. By bringing up an argument, the partners literally fight for the relationship to stay balanced and healthy, as the reason behind the argument creates this imbalance which can eventually ruin the relationship.

However, there are two kinds of arguing – constructive and destructive. If you manage to keep your argument to the point and aim toward solving a problem, then you shouldn’t worry too much. Then, there are those whose fights lead nowhere and bring up old topics.

To make sure that your arguments are there to help out with instead of destroying your relationship, there are some DO’s and DON’T’s you should pay attention to:

DO take 10: Fights can really heat you up to the point where you might say something you’ll regret. In such cases, it’s better that you say that you need to retreat calm down in the next room.

DON’T get stuck on one issue: If you find yourselves bickering over the same issue over and over again, it’s better to just sit down when you’ve calmed down and try to resolve it once and for all.

DO stick to the point: Bringing up other topics while you’re arguing leads nowhere. It’s better to focus on that one problem, rather than losing yourselves in a sea of problems.

DON’T get personal: Remember that your argument revolves around a certain problem – stick to that and don’t start throwing in insults, threats, and things you’ll later regret.

DO manage your ‘make-up’ expectations: When making up, be affectionate and don’t create unrealistic expectations from your partner.

DON’T mention the ‘D’ word (divorce): Research has shown that once this word is actually brought up, the relationship can start sliding downhill.

As Dr. Spurr says, it’s rare for a couple to be 100% harmonious, and fighting is an effort to reach that harmony. However, if couples never fight, it may reveal that there’s a lack of care for one another. So, if you care, make sure you bring up whatever’s bothering you and don’t forget to respect your partner.

ImageCopyright : David Pereiras Villagrá 
Source: HuffPost

11 Habits Of People With Concealed Depression

By
Elizabeth Williams

When you think of depression, you most probably imagine a person who is lacking the will to function, who is retreated in their own thoughts, and who cannot really relate to anything while he/she is affected by it.

However, depression may remain unnoticed for years in some people, who are constantly fighting that inner demon and struggle to remain positive and look like nothing is happening to them.

This concealed depression is eating the person slowly from the inside, while they are doing everything they know to jump out of the mess they are experiencing inside. However, there are some signs which can point to a person with concealed depression.

Here are 11 habits of people with concealed depression:

1. Constantly making efforts to appear fine

As we already said, the idea that depression is something which shows its ugly face through a series of negative habits is not always true. It’s not just a mood, but rather a mental imbalance.

Some people learn to act happy and normal, as the feeling that they would bring someone down with their state of mind makes things worse for them. This is why they will try hard to play the role of positivity, regardless of what they are truly feeling.

2. Habitual remedies

In addition to the traditional depression treatment which includes therapy and medications, there are some lifestyle changes and habits that people with depression adopt to improve their mood.

This is why some will decide to take up anything that would distract them from the state they’re in, like driving, exercising, listening to music, walking, you name it.

3. Having trouble with abandonment

The struggle of depression affects those around you as well. And not everyone is ready for that kind of burden, so when they sense your struggle, they choose to walk away. While they exactly can’t be blamed, this fact creates a feeling of abandonment.

This is what makes people with depression to hide their state and the way they feel, fearing that they might be abandoned by their loved ones. It’s indeed painful to know that it’s a dark side which may be too much for others to accept.

4. Being pro at “cover-up” stories

You will hear elaborate stories about why they have skipped appointments, or how those cuts ended up on their arms. The truth is that they will do everything to hide the real reason behind whatever they did – and that is their depression.

Depression affects the daily activities greatly, and in such moments of low self-esteem and negative feelings, they’re professionals at changing the subject and redirecting the attention away from their actual situation.

5. Abnormal eating and sleeping habits

Sleeping too much or too little is one of the most common signs of depression. The same goes with food, and these two things are essential for the health. However, when under the effects of depression, their mind reacts differently to these natural urges and disrupts their patterns.

6. Interpreting substances differently

A person who is battling with depression is aware of what makes them better and what may worsen their depression. So, while others would see alcohol as something they’d use to have a fun night, a person with depression will avoid it, as it is a depressant and can cause a low mental state.

They also know that sugar and caffeine can raise the mood, as well as medicine, and they are aware of what doesn’t mix well. All this knowledge comes from their need to alter their state of mind so that they don’t feel so down all the time.

7. Exhibiting a very involved perception of life and death

While not all depressed people have suicidal urges, their state completely changes their thought process. In moments of despair, they will often face mortality, especially when ruminating over life’s heaviest questions.

8. Uniquely talented and expressive

Depression brings a dark and deep note to one’s personality and self-perception. In this depth, they will find a unique way to express themselves creatively in incredible and unique ways.

Their touch with both the good and bad inside helps them to create and express beauty through the heaviness and intensity of the emotions they carry. As a fact, many of the greatest minds of history have suffered from mental illnesses.

9. Often on the search for purpose

The truth is, everybody needs a purpose and meaning in their life. People suffering from depression want this too. However, their susceptibility to feelings of anxiety and inadequacy will make them try to compensate for the shortcomings they believe they possess.

This mood, however, can change and they may become intensely devoted to the pursuit of happiness.

10. Releasing subtle cries for help

While most would think that these people are strong and tough, for these people being alone may not be safe. Sometimes they will start feeling close enough with a person to admit their weakness, and this moment of opening up is crucial.

Such moments are very powerful, as they hold the potential to build a strong bond between two people. While they hold the power to create trust and closeness between friends and lovers, it’s not easy for a person with depression to open up.

11. Seeking love and acceptance, like everyone else

People with concealed depression don’t hide their feelings because they want to be dishonest, but to protect their hearts and those of the people around them. It’s because we live in such world which defines our dark sides as something unnatural and unacceptable.

However, their real wish is to be loved, accepted and understood the way they are so that they can have the stimulus to become even better and greater. We need to be ready to reach out to those who need it, even when it may seem difficult.

Image Copyright: bialasiewicz / 123RF Stock Photo

“Beer Yoga” Is A Thing Now, And It’s Going International Because Well “Beer Yoga”

By
Elizabeth Williams

Just when we think we have seen it all, an innovative individual will come up with a novelty that we could not even imagine seeing before. Imagine doing yoga while drinking beer.

Boom! It is being done not only in Germany, but has traveled to Australia, with hopes of reaching all countries sooner rather than later.

To the surprise of many, the newest fitness trends brought together two non-matching activities–drinking alcohol and doing sports, or more precisely yoga.

Although it sounds impossible at first, when you think about it, they are complementary. We have all experienced the comfort of having a cold beer after a busy day at work. 

Now imagine it combined with a restful workout like yoga. The calming power of the beer and the soothing effect of yoga both work together towards bringing an individual in blissful harmony.

During the classes, participants do traditional yoga exercises while balancing full beer bottles with different body parts, in the meantime drinking from the same. As both beer drinking and yoga practicing are therapies known to man from ancient times, the new trend just blends them together for a more revitalizing and uplifting experience.

While we are not sure who really invented beer yoga, it was presented publicly for the first time during the cultural annual gathering in the United States, called Burning Man, couple of years ago.

Soon enough, the trend has spread internationally, increasing the number of instructors that teach beer yoga professionally. Very quickly, beer yoga became a thing in Europe, Australia and Asia as well, especially Thailand.

One of the certified instructors Jhula, who further developed the concept in Germany, and owns one of the biggest beer yoga classrooms in the country, says that the activity sounds really fun – but actually, it is much more than that.

According to her, a person under a mild influence of alcohol, especially beer “can better achieve the levels of consciousness that yoga helps us discover”. Those that have tried it, recommend beer yoga to those yoga lovers that are a little bit shy, or cannot relax that easily.

The beer speeds the stress relieve process, makes them forget about the every-day troubles and helps them reach tranquility faster.

There are numerous events where the latest novelties in the field are being presented. Moreover, you can find a convenient beer yoga studio in almost all the bigger cities.

Therefore, if you are a beer lover, a yoga fan, and have a knack for trying out new things – go ahead and google the closest beer yoga classroom in your surrounding area.

If your city has not welcomed the beer yoga preachers yet, you can always rely on the YouTube videos that will steadily bring you through the all levels of exercises.  Either way, as according to many, it’s a special experience you won’t regret.

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This Is Why The Strongest Women Feel Insecure All The Time

By
Elizabeth Williams

The most important thing that you need to know about an independent and strong woman is that she has very high standards for everything: from choosing her favorite restaurant to choosing her friends and emotional partners.

She doesn’t have the time nor the energy to put up with immature and disrespectful men. She never settles for anything or anyone less than she believes she deserves. She stands firmly on the ground and there is no space in her life for flaky men or friendships with negative people who only bring her down.

She has no problem cutting people off who don’t serve her needs and fail to meet her high standards. However, she is not a hypocrite by doing so – she just knows her worth and her value and refuses to settle for mediocrity.

She is continually improving herself, and she is certainly strong enough to take on the world if she wants. Even when she was a child and growing up, she believed that she is destined for extraordinary things. She had a quick mind and was always the best one in school – she is still an overachiever today.

Also, she is a dreamer with a mind that could wander over all universal possibilities. She is also the kind of woman who doesn’t waste time being unproductive and lazy. She hates when a day goes by with her skipping the gym and eating chips in front of the TV instead.

She feels guilty about days like these when she is too lazy to do anything productive, so she overcompensates for it the very next day. 

She believes that every little thing that she does must take her closer to achieving her dreams. She doesn’t stop at anything. She is always pursuing something she sets her mind on. Even when she achieves her goals, she sets new goals immediately to keep her going. She has an immense energy and vitality in her that is unbelievable.

However, in spite of all these strong characteristics of hers, she is still insecure when it comes to how others perceive her. She is constantly over-thinking everything she does because she wants everything to be just perfect.

Also, she usually has doubts about her life choices; she is constantly questioning herself if all her hard work would pay off in the future.

Yet, no one seems to see her struggling. They assume she is fine because they just see the perfect image of her that she presents to the world. They only see her as a fully confident and strong woman who doesn’t have any major problems in life. They only see the exterior – her accomplishments. They fail to see the demons she fought to get herself there. From the outside, it seems like she got it all under control perfectly, so people don’t feel like they need to encourage her and reassure her of her strength.

The problem is, she needs a lifesaver. She needs someone who will support her, and encourage her, and assure her that everything is going to be okay in the end – that her work will have valuable results, and that she will make all her dreams true.

The truth is, she may be acting like a Superwoman, but we all know that those who seem the strongest are also the ones who are battling battles that we don’t know of on a daily basis.

Even the strongest and most independent women out there are still vulnerable to failure, and their insecurities. Everyone needs a gentle word and knowing they are not alone in the world.

The Secret To A Happy Marriage May Be An Emotionally Intelligent Husband

By
Elizabeth Williams

A happy marriage consists of so many little things. However, not everyone can say that their marriage is the most constructive place to grow. The truth is that marriage is conditioned by many social norms, which have taught the partners to act this or that way.

One of the things that we learn from early childhood is the role of influence. Usually, boys are taught that influence should be something they should handle and that those who fall behind by being ‘played upon’ are usually left behind.

This is not the reality though, and the perception that someone should be in command is what harms most relationships. Once one of the partners takes up the wheel and stops listening to what the other has to say, the room for compromise and genuine mutual understanding collapses onto the marriage.

This is what Dr. John Gottman discovered in his long-term study on 130 newly-wed couples. His conclusion is that men who allow to be influenced by their wives have happier marriages and are less likely to get divorced.

This form of mutual influence and compromise is not limited to heterosexual couples. In fact, it’s essential in every relationship, no matter what gender the couple is. And the worst enemy of all marriages? Stonewalling.

The most common problem in marriages is when one of the partners doesn’t agree to something that the other has intended to do, or has already done. In such arguments, the husband that rejects his wife’s efforts to influence him would usually stick to the four common telltale signs: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.

While this is not restricted to the male gender only, Dr. Gottman reports that it is usually men who reject their wives’ influence and that these marriages where men are unwilling to share power are 81% likely to self-implode.

The truth is that it takes two for a marriage, and just like love, responsibilities, obligations, and all the rest of the elements that make up marriage, influence should be mutual. In the end, both partners care about the relationship, and this care should be taken into consideration when listening to the other partner.

The main problem with men who are unwilling to be influenced is that their lower emotional intelligence cannot make a difference between ‘being in power’ and being in an equal relationship.

When we take emotionally intelligent men, the difference is that they care about and are genuinely interested in their wives’ emotions and interests. This is because these men honor and respect their wives.

The emotionally intelligent husband will listen when being confronted and will try to understand her feelings and find common grounds. This will also make him a great father, who will encourage his kids to respect and value their emotions and themselves.

Accepting influence doesn’t mean blindly following the wife’s directions and canceling everything because she prefers it that way. It means understanding the partner’s point of view and finding a way to make a compromise.

This way of finding something both partners can agree to is what would make the gears turn smoother, and both partners will be happy. In the end, every couple wants mutual understanding and working things out together.

Image Copyright: langstrup / 123RF Stock Photo
Source: Business Insider

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