Nursing homes can be very lonely places for elderly people, contrary to popular belief. In fact, elderly people sometimes face severe isolation and some of them suffer even from depression and loneliness.

In the east, when people get old, their children take care of them or they are taken care of in some other way. But in the western world, it is common for people to go to a nursing home when they reach a certain age.

An Inter-Generational Learning Center in Providence Mount St. Vincent, Seattle, WA has done something AMAZING in order to ensure that the elderly people in their nursing home are happy.

They put some pre-school children in the nursing home. The family members of both the children and the elderly people and the staff were very pleasantly surprised when they saw the difference and the impact that the children had on the elderly people.

Evan Briggs, was so impressed by the positive outcome of this idea that he decided to make a documentary film called “Present Perfect”, in order to raise the awareness about this innovative project.

You can watch the trailer of the movie in this video below:

Psychologists give a detailed explanation about this phenomenon. Elderly people are known to be very calm and patient and they provide a somewhat comforting environment. Young children on the other hand,  are very lively, cheerful, naive, curious and full of energy which is exactly the type of energy that is lacking in elderly people. 

While people which are between the ages of 20 to 60 are in a constant rush and even stress, elderly people do not have this problem, so they have endless patience to deal with children’s curiosity and naughtiness. 

As you can see from the video, the joy that these children bring in the nursery home with their very presence is huge and the elderly are really having a blast and enjoy interacting with the young.

Being stressed, tired, anxious and depressed are mental states that are somewhat considered as “normal” nowadays. However, it can be extremely tiring waking up everyday feeling unfulfilled and purposeless. That is why the 21st century in an era of extreme obesity, depression, ADHD, people alienation and many other negative mental conditions.

FORTUNATELY, THERE IS somethings that we can do to help ourselves. 

Namely, psychologists have discovered that these 5 things are activities that we can do on a daily basis in order to feel happier and more fulfilled.

1. Laughter

Yup, that’s right, the old fashioned medicine is always first on the “happy list”. That is so because laughter triggers the release of endorphins which are feel-good chemicals that increase feelings of well-being.

When I dealt with depression for an example and thought I had nothing to laugh about, I watched some of my favorite comic series, such as Friends or just played some comedians. Sure, the first laughs come “artificially” (by playing something funny), but it is essential that you start laughing, cause after not more then a few days you WILL feel better and get started. 

So LAUGHTER people, laughter! 🙂

2. Singing or dancing

Psychologist claim that singing is a natural catalyst of negative feelings, negative energy and so on. It doesn’t matter if you are singing like Celine Dion (or someone that you like) or you are completely tone deaf. It just matters that you sing, out loud, relaxed and shamelessly of course. 

Dancing or playing a musical instrument have the same effect. Research show that playing an instrument can decrease feelings of loneliness and increase feelings of well-being, plus it’s an excellent social activity and a conversation starter. 

3. Exercising

This one has been forced on people for too long now. But, I’m here to tell you that psychologist state that exercising in order to have the “perfect” body, has nothing to do with feelings of happiness, on the contrary, it can sometimes lead even to frustration and again over-eating.

Exercising is on this list because the simple process of movement triggers releasing a list of hormones that are associated with feeling happy, breezy and joyful. Think of children, they don’t run around all day in order to be “fit”, but because it’s fun!

It’s enough to take a walk in the park, go to the swimming pool or take a hike on the nearest hill to turn your day around in a positive way. Choose an activity that YOU like, that’s the most important thing!

4. Giving to others

Donating food, old clothes, money, old furniture or anything that you have lying around in your home and that you don’t use can be EXTREMELY fulfilling!

Psychologist and sociologists claim that sometimes giving to others and thinking less about ourselves can even have a bigger effect in making us happier, than constantly trying to make OUR lives better. 

Being a hard-worker in order to become a better person, being better at out jobs and creating better life conditions is of course something that we must do, everyday, tirelessly. But, giving and thinking about others will also give us feelings of selflessness, generosity of spirit and joy!

5. Meditation

This activity is the last one, but certainly not least! 

Meditation is simply the best medicine ever! You might feel that you are “doing nothing”, sitting there with your eyes closed, silently, but you are in fact doing more than you could ever imagine!

Psychologists and neurologists list hundreds of things as benefits from meditating on a regular basis (a half an hour a day should be enough for a beginner) and here are just some of them:

• Bigger self-esteem and self-acceptance
• Less worry, anxiety, impulsivity and stress
• Less feelings of loneliness, fear and depression
• Increases optimism and relaxation
• Improves mood and emotional intelligence
• Better concentration and information processing
• Increases mental strength and focus
• Increases memory retention and recall
• Better cognitive skills overall

So there you go, a simple 5 ingredient recipe for a better and happier tomorrow. You don’t have to start doing all 5 of them at the same time, but make sure that you at least try all 5 activities. If you like them all, great, and if you don’t, stick to at least 2 of them. That’s my challenge for you today and I PROMISE that you’ll have results!

Hope I helped you and I wish you a WONDERFUL day!

Choosing our thoughts wisely is a MUST, as we are what we think!

Our mind is so powerful and most of us don’t even know how much. For an example, our brain can perform an estimated 10 quadrillion operations per second (WOW!) without us even knowing it.

However, there is only one thing our mind can’t do, thus making our subconscious in charge of our present life and the outcomes we get, regardless if they are good or bad.

What is that one thing our mind can’t do? Watch the video to find out and learn how to take control over your life!

It is very easy to get away in solitude and isolate yourself from all the annoying people, from all the negativity and evil in the world. Some of us have the opportunity and means to do this, if not regularly, but couple of times in the year.

Oh, those lucky ones who can get away in a beautiful resort and forget all about their problems and just relax….or are they lucky? Are these people really on a vacation or this is just a temporary, but conscious blindness that problems and negativity don’t exist? Well I suppose it is the second one.

The lucky ones are those who can remain in their inner peace while fighting on the first battle line in a war called “life”! And it is very possible to work, to deal with all that life serves you and to stay calm in the same time.

You see, we all have someone in our lives who loves to complain all the time and suck the life force out of everyone in the room. But this is not the reason for you also to become negative as they are or to embrace the situation as an unchangeable one.

And here are some pointers of what you could do when you are surrounded with such people that totally drain you or after speaking to them you feel like a firecracker ready to explode.

1.State your limits

A person is much like a house, if you don’t have a fence around your land all kind of animals shall come and eat the beautiful grass you have tended for years. Then they will destroy the walls and eventually walk right into your living room and dine with you. So it is of utmost importance for you and your health to put around you a big stop sign.

And if needed, be very open and loud when the other person persists in crossing over your limits, your fence. Protect your inner peace, because no one will do it for you.

2. Don’t lose your intelligence

In anger people very often lose their intelligence. They lower themselves so much that they start only to respond to all the negativity coming up their way. And this kind of resolving a problem is very wrong.

Only responding and not reacting, not defending is never the right choice. When someone starts their sad song recital, you should very politely distant yourself from that person and don’t react at all. Simply leave. If this is not possible, do tell that person that you don’t want to hear that same old story and try to change the subject.

3. Stay away from the “trigger subject”

If we analyze all those negative people, we shall come to an understanding that they complain or burst in anger only about one particular thing. If you find the source of the problem that keeps this person to talk 24/7, try to avoid that particular subject.

And if someone else touches that trigger, you should quickly change the conversation to a lighter topic or find something that involves deeper thinking so you can keep their mind busy.

4. Focus on finding solution 

If the negative person is someone close to you or someone you work with it’s not that easy to walk away and leave them standing. So this negative situation is inevitable and the best way to survive is to think about all the solutions that can actually help that person to solve their problem.

If they are willing to listen, stay and talk, try to find some happy conclusion to this whole negativity. But if you see that they are not interested in resolving their situation, why should you be their savior? Remember you cannot save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. They’ll only drain you while you are helping them.

5. Maintain emotional detachment 

Every time you are surrounded with negative people or you are in a negative situation that isn’t yours, you must emotionally distance yourself from everything that is negative.

Try remembering that you are not your friend or that negative person, you are not this situation, the situation doesn’t involve you, it is just happening around you. So don’t let yourself be pulled down, stay as a spectator and just observe, use this experience as a lesson from which you can learn something for future times if you find yourself again in such situation.

6. Don’t try to change others 

Trying to change the attitude of others is our biggest mistake. People in essence are egoistic and they think that they are always right. And you can never ever try to discuss a change of character with someone who enjoys being in the center of every drama, and makes drama when they are not in the center!

Remember that not everyone is like you and even if they were, they’ll probably need some time to come to their senses. So say what you have to say, detached yourself from all the negativity they want to transfer to you and let them be. If they want to be miserable it’s their right, they’ll be unhappy, not you.

7. Find time to recuperate 

If you live or work with a negative person and you can see that there will be no change in their attitude for the time being, you should find a way to keep your energy level high on daily basis.

It’s not a world’s end if you are stuck with a negative person, you just need to find a practice that equalizes the energy they take, with the new energy that you shall bring into yourself. There are plenty of such beautiful techniques you can use: meditation, yoga, tai-chi or any spiritual practice that you find yourself connected with.

Remember always to charge yourself with enough positivity, so even if they take some, you will stay happily calm and perfectly all right.

The main reason for almost all break-ups or broken relationships of any kind is missed feedback. Say you are about to face a potential conflict because you and the person you are talking to are not on the same page, you continuously misunderstood each other and what do you do, how do you proceed?

                Since this is a very important question, there a lot of books and articles, suggesting the answer and some say the sooner you tell the truth how you feel about the whole situation, the better, this applied to all sorts of conflicts, whether they are professional or private.

But is this always the right way to work out a conflict? Sincerely, most of the times – it is not! Why? Because people do not want to hear the truth about themselves, especially from others, and because sometimes we have a whole lot more to lose if we speak the truth, then to find some other way to make peace with the other.

Thought one should always know that speaking the truth is good and moral, but never forget that this truth you speak is only “your truth”, only your side of the story.

Many times, since we do not understand that there are many truths, our feedback to the situation resembles a lot more as a harsh criticism and this very seldom brings solution to the problem.

People do not like to be criticized and as a very wise writer and the developer of self-development course, Dale Carnegie, said: “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn— and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” 

So now the question remaining is how to switch you feedback that resembles like criticism, to a feedback that gives positive effects and leads to good solution? You can try using these 7 steps:

1. Create a neutral space 

if you like to be heard and still stay friends with the person you are in a momentary conflict, you must calm yourself and try to show the other that your feedback to their statement is not ill-willed and you have their best interest at heart, not just yours.

2. Ask for permission

Before introducing your feedback to the other person, you must be sure that they are willing to hear it. Never argue with one who doesn’t want to listen, that is a one-way conversation. But if you do recognize that the other wants the relationship to survive you should say how much you appreciate them and you too want this to work out.

3. Start the feedback with: ”I thought I heard”

Doing this you show that you didn’t assume anything and you respected them enough to ask again if they meant what you thought they did. You should never assume anything, because one of the main reasons the quarrel is started is because of making hasty assumptions. In our speech most of the time we are driven by our own emotions and if we are angry we hear things that feed our anger, if we are in-love we hear only the good stuff.

4. Describe how their words made you feel

Always describe how you felt when the words were spoken and most important never begin the sentence with – “you made me feel this or that way”, always say – ”I felt this or that”. If you try to reconcile, do not put oil into the fire. Also do not mix to the present conflict any past experiences, because you should remember that as much as this situation resembles to a past one, they are separate problems arisen in different times and circumstances.

5. Know how to listen 

After you have given your feedback, it is time to start to listen. This means that you should really listen, do not interrupt, do not defend yourself, just listen the other side of the story. Doing this the other will know that you are trying to find a solution good for both of you and you respect what he has to say.

6. Suggest solutions

Now after carefully listening, the time has come to speak, softly, how you wish to be treated in the future so none of this could happen ever again. Here you can also add some good and positive pointer what both of you should avoid doing, so that there will be no next time for such a conflict.

7. End in a positive way

Thank the other for the chance to speak your side of the story, give acknowledgement that you took their side of the story into consideration, and be grateful that all has ended well.

I hope this few steps shall help you to resolve most of your conflict in a way that no negative consequences shall arise for you or the others.