Times have changed greatly and with new times come new habits, sets of behavior and attitudes that seem very different from the ones we were used to when we were kids.

Today’s generations are all geared up with the newest technology that seems to distract them from the need to go out and play, socialize in the ways we used to or just spend time having fun. 

The challenges vary in many ways, but the main things is that today’s parents raise their children way more differently than they were raised and the outcome of those parents’ care is the greatest challenge.

Will my kid learn to be a complete person, the one who pushes forward and a person with good manners, who can bond and communicate with others freely and openly?

Every parent asks the same questions: Am I missing something? Am I doing everything right? Will my child succeed in life?

Am I Good Parent For My Child?

All these questions linger inside the head of every parent, no matter how old their child is. Parenting tips are literally never enough, so having a parenting guide by your night stand is always gonna come in handy.

You can never say you’ve read too many parenting guides and you know everything there is to know because parenting is art on its own. It changes and fluctuates. It’s never fixed, and perhaps, that’s the beauty of it.
Amid all those question marks and doubtful thinking, the ultimate question remains: How to raise good kids? Even better yet, how to be a good parent?

You are trying so hard, yet feel like you could still learn a secret or two. Knowledge never hurt nobody, right?

To find answers to your questions as well as the ultimate parenting tips you need, just scroll down. 

How To Raise Good Kids? 

Psychologists at Harvard University have thought of the same questions and have found that there are several elements that are still very important and basic for every kid’s childhood. The key to upbringing a well-adjusted child in these changing times is not as complicated as you may think.

5 Secret Parenting Tips To Raising Good Kids, According to Harvard Psychologists:

1. SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

It’s not enough just to be physically around your kid – you need to be with them completely. This means that no Xbox console or new iPhone can replace the bonding that the child truly needs. By communicating with them openly, listening carefully and doing the things they like together, your child will not only love you more, but will also learn how to be a considerate and caring person, and remember their childhood a positive experience.

This is the foundation of it all. Your kid would very much prefer (above everything else) having a real person to talk to and to share ideas and experiences with, even if they may not seem aware of it.

Being a good parent means asking your kid how their day went, listening carefully, and discussing the dilemmas they may have in their head – be careful not to ‘dogmatize’ lessons from your experiences though, they need to experience these things through their own perspective. We’ll talk about this later in this article.

See what their favorite things are and try to learn from them how to play the games they like – they would enjoy sharing their ‘fun’ with you!

Read them a book before bed (or do it together during the day if they are in the mood for it). Just be around them completely and acknowledge their emotions.

Practically speaking:

Devote some time of your day to play their favorite games with them;
Read them a bedtime story and enjoy the whole story with them;
Ask them questions about their day, include questions like:         What was the best part of your day? The hardest part? What’s something nice someone did for you today? What’s something nice you did?  What’s something you learned today – in school or outside school?

2. LET YOUR KIDS SEE A STRONG MORAL ROLE MODEL AND MENTOR IN YOU

Children learn the most from their surroundings, especially at a younger age. What you do is what they will become. This is why you should always pay close attention to your manners and actions and be ready to admit faults and mistakes. Show your child that you care and that you are ready to accept your faults and work on them.

The result you wish to see in your child comes from the effort you put into yourself on this one. Practice fairness, honesty, and care for yourself. This picture will teach your kid to do the same habits. The key to all this is to talk these things through with your child.

Acknowledging your mistakes, especially those that involve your kid in them, and speak openly about these things.

The aim is to show your child good manners, humility, and honesty. With that, they will feel a lot more comforted and encouraged to look to a positive outcome in their problems.

Your child will look up to you only if you earn their trust and respect. Achieving this is showing your child that you are as human as you can be, and that comes with faults too.

Practically speaking:

Admit your mistakes, apologize and show that you wish to make up for them and plan to avoid it next time.
Tell your child how you plan to avoid that mistake and what you learned from it.
Make time for yourself and re-energize yourself during that time. You will need that energy to be more attentive to and caring with others.

3. TEACH YOUR CHILD TO CARE FOR OTHERS AND SET HIGH ETHICAL EXPECTATIONS

Your child needs to socialize and bond with others in the right way. Caring for others’ happiness and avoiding selfishness can bring a lot of benefits to your child’s future.

As the findings from Harvard say, “It’s very important that children hear from their parents and caretakers that caring about others is a top priority and that it is just as important as their own happiness.

Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren’t hearing that message.”

This comes with holding your children to high ethical expectations. Be ready to honor their commitments. Teach them to do the right thing even when it’s hard and be a role model for this. It’s simple: you need to justify whatever you say to them with your actions.

Responsibilities and obligations are something you always need to remind your child of. They come in every shape even from early age: chores, school responsibilities, manners, friends, and promises.

Be sure to remind them that they are not alone and that others have expectations from them that they need to be ready to fulfill because they can.

Practically speaking:

Change the message you send them on a daily basis from “The most important thing is that you are happy” to “The most important thing is that you’re kind and you’re happy.”
Encourage your kid to ‘work it out’ before deciding whether they should quit a sports team, band or friendship. Ask them to consider the consequences their action may have on the others and encourage them to work the problem out before abandoning it.

4. ENCOURAGE KIDS TO PRACTICE APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE

Our 4^th of the parenting tips states: A child that’s not spoiled is a child that acknowledges the roles of others in their life in a healthy way. This acknowledgment comes with appreciation for the people who contribute to their lives.

Gratitude is a two-way road with wonderful effects. People who practice gratitude on a regular basis are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate and forgiving. They are also more likely to be happy and healthy.

Let their habit start by learning from your actions. Be ready to show gratitude for something nice they do for you – but be careful!

Showing a lot of gratitude for things they are supposed to do will spoil them! As the Harvard psychologists say, “real responsibilities.”

“Expect children to routinely help, for example, with household chores and siblings, and only praise uncommon acts of kindness. When these kinds of routine actions are simply expected and not rewarded, they’re more likely to become ingrained in everyday actions.”

Practically speaking:

Encourage your child to be grateful on a regular basis. Be ready to receive gratitude for your extraordinary acts of kindness and generosity towards them.
Encourage to express appreciation towards family members, teachers, or others who contribute to their lives.
Be grateful.

5. TEACH THEM TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE

A common fact is that children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends. This is a very normal thing, of course, but the real challenge is to teach kids to start thinking about people outside that circle.

This larger circle could include a new kid in class, other people who work in his/her school, a person who doesn’t speak your language or anyone who lives in a distant country. Children need to know how their thoughts and actions can impact a community.

As the study shows, “It is important that children learn to zoom in, listening closely and attending to those in their immediate circle, and to zoom out, taking in the big picture and considering the range of people they interact with every day.”

 Practically speaking:

Encourage your child to consider the perspectives and feelings of others, especially those who may be vulnerable. Give them simple ideas for taking action, such as comforting a kid who was teased or reaching out to the new kid in class.
Discuss engaging topics about some people’s hardships, like different experiences of children in other countries or communities.
Childhood is the period of life when most of our personality is shaped. That’s why you should start paying attention to their development, the best way you possibly can – by helping them understand the main things that make them complete persons.

BONUS PARENTING TIPS:

DON’T MAKE YOUR CHILD EXCEPTION TO EVERY RULE

Perhaps you have stumbled upon the expression raising conscientious children in literature, but you may have dished out that helpful reminder thinking that’s up to your child to learn and practice through life, but that’s where you are wrong.

Conscientiousness is up to you a great deal – especially during a child’s teenage years. What does this mean? Not defending or justifying your child when they’ve done something morally or ethically wrong, otherwise, you are feeding their ego and sense of self-righteousness, which can lead to crippling setbacks later on in their life.

Conscientious children tend to cope well in adulthood, for they are more aware of how the real world works. They haven’t been justified whenever they did something bad and they are aware that actions have consequences. Overprotected children, in turn, may grow up having a distorted moral compass and common sense, and will chose shortcuts and short-term payoffs over honest work and long-term gratifications.

As a parent, avoid bending the rules so they serve your child, thinking that with that you are protecting their future and well-being because adult happiness doesn’t arise from overprotection. Rather, it comes from children learning the rules and conforming to them so they grow into well-formed, down-to-earth adults who don’t think the world owes them a living.

RESIST DOING FOR THEM WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEMSELVES

While parental participation and involvement can increase goodwill, achievement, communication and help develop a sense of community for the child, you always need to have a balance. How much involvement is too involvement?

You cannot be doing every tiny easy little chore for the child nor redo everything they’ve done because a) you will make your child lazy and spoiled or b) you will suffocate their confidence and they’ll end up thinking nothing they do is ever good enough (which then lingers form their early, formative years all the way through adulthood).

PARENTING GUIDE FOR EFFECTIVE PRESCHOOL PARENTING

Develop routines

Steel is shaped while hot. Mark this rule as important in your parenting tips genesis because for your kid to grow into a responsible and diligent person, you need to teach them core values and combine them with a daily routine, so they don’t start procrastinating or slacking off.

That means personal hygiene, getting dressed independently, picking up after themselves, limited time spent online, some sports activities after screen time, and so on. Routines and adhering to a schedule are good for building discipline. 

Bully proof  your child

A whopping 49.9% of children aged 9-12 have reported bullying at school, so to prevent that from happening you need to armor your child long before they start going to school.

Raise your child’s awareness about bullying and prevent them from becoming a victim or a bully from an early age because bullying does not stop at school only. Online bullying and after-school bullying are still a reality.

Assign chores

Make your child feel important and capable. Assign them simple chores to activate them; chores like pouring their own milk, putting their toys back in the box, washing their teeth, etc.

Encourage cooperation and teamwork

You don’t want your child riding solo and going against the world, do you? Teach them from a preschool age the importance of collaboration and team spirit.

Make everyday fun

Whenever you are doing something together, play some music in the background. Make your own music band and rock together. Be messy when you draw, draw yourselves as mighty superheroes,  make the most delicious Halloween cookies together… have your own inner jokes or awards after completing every milestone.  

That way, your child can have a good example to learn from when they become a parent. Showing love, care, and dedication will free your child from depressive episodes, frustrations, and self-destructive behavior. A happy child is a happy adult, remember!

PARENTING TIPS FOR TEENAGE CHILDREN

You are a parent AND a friend

Curfews, tyrant parents that say no to everything and restrict everything are the death of a thriving, meaningful child-parent relationship.

Be understanding. Let your child express their opinion. Let them have their voice in the family. Let them be heard. Let them make their choices. A child that trusts you, your reactions, and understanding, will have the confidence to tell you anything.

Similarly, a child that has freedom will never violate it, but to be a good parent, you need to show that you can hear first, react, or make assumptions second.

Make eating one meal together a rule

This is perhaps one of the most important parenting tips that gets swayed under the carpet. No matter how busy you all are during the day ALWAYS make sure you have at least one mean together. Around the table, chit-chatting.

Ask questions and show interest

As grown-ups, we tend to lose our energy; it gets sucked from poor working conditions, biased bosses, and average salaries. It gets lost amidst the everyday, so much that we forget we are… PARENTS!

A good parent shows curiosity, asks questions, and shows that they really care. Don’t go asking the same routine questions because teenagers can small fake miles away. Listen. Really listen because teenagers will sense when you are drifting off in your thoughts.

Try to notice the authenticity in your child, try to spark their joy with your affection and dedication, and you are 5 steps ahead in the game!

Parenting tips are there to be shared. And sharing is caring!

Source:
Making Caring Common Project – Harvard University.

What Is An Empathic Person?

An empath is a person who has the ability to feel and understand the emotions of other people. In addition to this, empaths can take on others’ emotions and energies as “emotional sponges.”

Empaths are extremely sensitive and intuitive individuals who can feel what another person is feeling or thinking at a deep emotional level.

Being an empath can be a blessing and a curse. There are a lot of benefits of being an empathic person. First of all, empathic individuals are emotionally intelligent and extremely intuitive. Due to these qualities, they can immediately sense when someone is trying to manipulate or deceive them. They can spot phony, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful people from a mile away.

Additionally, empaths are caring, compassionate, and generous individuals. They are great listeners and friends. They build deep and meaningful relationships with others as they have the ability to connect at a deep emotional, mental, and spiritual level. They are entirely loyal and committed to their friends and partners, and although they might have only a handful of friends, they go out of their way to protect and nurture their friendships as no other person does.

As we already said, being an empath can sometimes be a curse. Empaths can put themselves in other people’s shoes and feel their energies and emotions, whether they are positive or bad as if they were their own. So, just imagine how great being able to absorb constantly other people’s sadness, anxiety, anger, or stress could affect your physical, mental, and emotional health.

Bear in mind that besides feeling and taking on other people’s energies and emotions, empathic individuals feel the emotions within themselves. All of this can often make them feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and even anxious or depressed, as most empaths don’t possess the skills necessary to protect themselves from exhaustion and sensory overload. 

How Do You Know If Someone Is Empathetic?

Recognizing if you or someone you know is an empath can sometimes be difficult, so in what follows, we’ve presented 10 personality traits empaths have in common. If you possess some or all of the traits presented below, you might be an empath as well. Here they are:

1. You Have Trouble Not Caring

If whenever you see someone sad or suffering, you try to put yourself in their shoes and feel a strong need to help them and ease their pain, take this as a sign that you’re a highly empathetic person.

However, there’s one thing you should remember: Although you may find it hard to watch someone dealing with problems or struggling with emotional pain, know that it isn’t always possible to help others. Keeping this in mind will save you from feeling disappointed whenever you see someone struggling, and you’re not able to help them.

2. You’re Highly Intuitive

Have you ever had a gut feeling that something was off in a relationship or that someone was phony and manipulative? If you answered positively, you could take this as a sign that you’re an empath, as empaths have good intuition. 

Empathic individuals have the ability to pick up on subtle cues that can tell them what another person is thinking or feeling. Their intuition can tell them whether they’re dealing with an authentic, honest person or someone who is fake and disingenuous. 

3. You Feel A Lot Of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and feel the emotions of other people. So, let’s say a close friend of yours has recently lost someone they loved. Empathy is what enables you to put yourself in his/her shoes and understand and feel the pain they’re experiencing, even if you’ve never lost a loved one.

As an empath, you can feel other people’s emotions and energies on such a deep emotional level that it can be said that other people’s joy and sadness become your joy and sadness.

4. Crowded Places Make You Feel Overwhelmed

As an empath, you can take on another person’s energy, whether positive or negative, only by being around them. In crowded places, this sensitivity can become intolerable.

In addition to absorbing other people’s energies and emotions, you tend to feel things deeply. So, when you’re in a busy place, you’ll likely have trouble dealing with all the emotional “noise” from all the people surrounding you for some period of time. 

Absorbing the negative emotions, pain, energy, and distress of others can make you feel overwhelmed and physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. To protect yourself from exhaustion and sensory overload, you may feel the calmest and most comfortable in the company of only a handful of people at a time or by yourself.

5. Closeness And Intimacy Can Intimidate You

It’s not that you don’t want to connect and build deep, meaningful relationships with others, but you simply find close contact overwhelming. 

Spending too much time with your friends, family members, and partner makes you feel overwhelmed and stressed out. That’s why you tend to avoid engaging in long conversations with others and often feel the need to spend time on your own, which often negatively affects your relationships. For instance, when you tell your partner you need to spend some time alone, you take on their hurt feelings, and as a result of this, you feel even more emotional distress.

6. You Need To Spend Time Alone To Reset

Picking up on other people’s emotions and energies can be draining, which is why empathic individuals may often find themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

Even absorbing other people’s positive emotions can make you feel overwhelmed. Therefore, it’s very important to spend some time on your own to recharge your batteries.

If you are not able to get away from overwhelming emotions and prevent sensory overload, you run the risk of experiencing burnout, which can adversely affect your overall well-being. Therefore, to protect yourself from this, make sure you take time for yourself as often as you need. In this way, not only will you recharge your batteries, you’ll also reconnect with yourself and your power.

7. People Tend To Share Their Problems With You

If your loved ones often tell you their problems, come to you for advice, and confide in you, take this as a sign that you’re an extremely empathetic person. 

As an empath, you’re caring and compassionate and a great listener. That’s why your friends and family tend to reach out to you first every time they need help or emotional support.

However, know that not everyone will appreciate your benevolent nature and support. If you’re not careful, selfish and manipulative people can easily take advantage of your kindness. So, make sure your desire to help people experiencing difficulty doesn’t make you more vulnerable to toxic behaviors.

8. You Love Spending Time In Nature

Empathic individuals enjoy spending time in nature more than anything else, as natural environments make them feel calm and relaxed. They perceive nature as a place where they can recharge their batteries and retreat to rest from emotions, sensations, and sounds.

So, as an empath, you might feel utterly peaceful when riding a bicycle alone or walking along the beach and listening to the beautiful sounds the waves make when crashing against the shore. Even going for a leisurely stroll in the nearest park may improve your mood, help you relax, and make you feel energized. 

9. You Can’t Stand Conflict

Empaths either fear Conflict or do everything in their power to avoid it. If you’re an empath, know that your sensitivity makes it easier for others to upset you and make you feel overwhelmed and distressed. Even unthoughtful remarks can deeply affect you, and you may take criticism to heart.

Getting involved in an argument makes you feel distressed because, in addition to dealing with your own reactions and feelings, you are also taking on the emotions of the person you’re having an argument with. When you want to call someone out on their behavior because they said or did something that hurt your feelings, you don’t know how to do this, and even slight disagreements can become more difficult to handle.

10. You Have Trouble Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are an inseparable part of any healthy relationship. 

If you are an empath, you may have a hard time controlling your ability to feel things deeply and find it very difficult to stop being caring and compassionate towards others, even when you feel drained.

One reason why you might have trouble setting boundaries in your relationships is that you think establishing boundaries means you’re reserved and you don’t care about others, including your friends and family. But, in fact, the opposite is true. 

What you need to understand is that setting boundaries in your relationships is increasingly important as doing so can help protect you from other people’s words or actions that can have a negative influence on you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Are The Characteristics Of Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand what another person feels, take their perspective, and put yourself in their position. 

People who have high empathy, i.e., empaths, can “walk a mile in another person’s shoes.” For example, when they’re around someone happy, they can feel their happiness and get caught up in their joy. Similarly, when they see someone sad or suffering, they can feel their sadness and emotional pain as if they were their own.

Feeling empathy enables you to put yourself in another person’s position and feel and understand what they’re going through. It enables you to recognize their emotions and communicate that.

There are three types of empathy: affective empathy, cognitive empathy, and somatic empathy.

1. Affective Empathy

A person who has this type of empathy has the ability to feel another person’s emotions physically alongside them. They can understand how the other person is feeling and what they’re going through and respond appropriately.

2. Cognitive Empathy

This type of empathy involves the ability to take another person’s perspective and understand their mental state. For example, a person who has cognitive empathy can put themselves in another person’s place and sense what they might be thinking.

3. Somatic Empathy

This type of empathy involves the ability to experience physically what another person is experiencing. For instance, when a person with somatic empathy sees someone suffering, they can feel their pain and feel a strong need to help them. Or when they’re around someone who is feeling embarrassed, they might feel embarrassed too or even have an upset stomach.

What Are The Best Careers For An Empathetic Person?

There isn’t one perfect job for empaths since not all empaths are the same. For example, some empaths get great satisfaction from working in environments that include many new people. Other thrive more in jobs in which they can interact with a small number of people and create deeper personal bonds.

Empathic individuals do well-being artists, writers, graphic and website designers, self-employed business owners, lawyers, accountants, and health care professionals.

It’s worth mentioning that the best jobs for empaths are those that can allow them to choose how many people they want to interact with and make their own schedules. Not overscheduling themselves, working at their own pace, and setting firm boundaries concerning when they can be reached are essential for them so that they don’t get overwhelmed and protect their mental and physical health.

Another thing worth mentioning is that many empaths choose to pursue heart-felt careers. They choose to work as nurses, physicians, psychologists, psychotherapists, social workers, physical and massage therapists, dentists, life coaches, or yoga instructors. In order to benefit from these professions, empaths need to learn how to stop picking up on the symptoms, emotions, and stress of their patients and clients. Three ways they can do this are by setting firm boundaries with people, taking breaks between clients, and spending quality time outside of work to recharge their batteries, relax, and reset.