Crying on someone’s shoulder is not a weakness. Calling someone when you feel sad and alone is not a flaw. It does not mean that you are an emotionally and mentally weak person. It just means that you need help. And that is fine.

Having a shoulder to cry on is a really valuable feeling.

Just look at how we, humans develop emotionally. As babies, we crave our mother’s hug. We are helpless, little human beings who have no idea how this world functions. The only two people that we know are our mother and father. They are our shelter, our comfort zones, our protectors. So, every time something happens to us, we sound the alarm. We cry. That basically means that we are out of that comfort zone, so we need our protectors to save us. We get used to the physical and emotional connection with them that we find it hard to separate ourselves from them.

This dynamic continues to play out pretty much our whole life. As we grow up, we seek friends to whom we can confide. We search for that best friend who will be able to accept us for who we are and always be there for us. And then, as we become more and more emotionally and physically mature, we start to search for a partner. A soulmate. The other half of us.

Bottom line, our whole lives are based on creating connections.

Because we are programmed to be connected to human beings. We are emotional creatures. We feel deeply and we love from the heart. That is something that makes us different from the other mammals.

That is why we turn to another human being for help when we feel week. That is why we seek comfort in someone’s hug. That is why we need to feel accepted and loved when our emotions make us feel overwhelmed.  Because without that unconditional support, without that shoulder to cry on, without that empathic response that we sometimes crave, life would be much more difficult than it is.

Unfortunately, there are people who’ve done this and got their hearts broken. As a result, they’ve decided that they will never again rely on someone else but themselves. So, they’ve isolated themselves and stopped trusting people. But what they didn’t realize is that rejecting support from people who care about them will eventually make them overwhelmed by their emotions.

If you are one of these people, I feel you. I really do. But don’t you think that rejecting help and pretending that you can do all by yourself will only do you more harm than good?

You are a human being and you have emotions. You have blood running through your veins. And a fragile, beating heart between your chest. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging this and letting people know that you are vulnerable, after all.

Having the need to call someone when you are feeling low is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. It shows that you are brave enough to let people know that you are just a fragile, human being who sometimes needs help.

Always remember, the need to feel comforted and supported by others is wired into you since birth. You are a creature that has been brought here to make a connection with other living beings. Don’t hesitate to turn to someone when you are going through a tough time.

Bottling up emotions should never be a choice. Whatever you feel inside, you should be able to share it with the ones you love. Believe it or not, your loved ones can be the most amazing source of motivation and strength when you are feeling miserable.

Friendships are an important part of life. If you ask me, probably the most important part. I don’t know, I guess that is how I was raised to believe. Nurturing your friendships and taking care of your friends should be on your priority list, regardless of your relationship status.

In other words, it is important to have friends. Even when you are married. Just think about it. Relying on only one person, your spouse for every emotional need that you have can sometimes be too much for them. That is where friendships come in. Platonic relationships always provide that extra support that we sometimes need.

However, sometimes, in some cases, the line between a friendship and an emotional affair is very thin. You start to feel a bit closer to your friend, you feel like you can open yourself in front of them, but you fail to notice that you are sliding down the proverbial slippery slope. All of a sudden, you’ve crossed the line. You feel closer to them than you are with your partner.

This is where the problems start to arise.

Some people don’t realize they’re actually cheating on their partners with their friends until it is too late. That is why, it is important to know the difference between emotional affairs and healthy, platonic relationships.

Here are three telltale signs that you are getting more emotionally involved in your friendship:

1. You rely on them for emotional support more than you rely on your husband. You share every bit of personal information with them because you feel like they are the only person that really listens to you. There is no one more loving, caring and attentive than them. They would do anything for you and you would do even more for them.

2. You don’t like the share much about your relationship. Especially not in front of your friends or your partner. Every time he asks you more about your friend, you try to subtly change the subject and talk about something else. It’s a bit obvious, but you like to think that your partner doesn’t actually know what’s happening between the two of you.

3. There is a great sexual energy between the two of you. You can feel the tension every time you two see each other. It’s not like you are doing something. You are just sitting next to each other. Their touch, no matter how simple it is, electrifies your whole body. Their look makes you go crazy. It makes you want them more and more.

These signs are clear indicators that you have something more than just a friendship. However, it is important to also note that a relationship can be destructive to your marriage even without this full trinity. If your attention and your affection are generally focused on your platonic friendship than on your marriage, that is a clear sign that you are having an emotional affair with your friend.

Be brave, accept your feelings, be honest with yourself and others and make a wise, grown decision without destroying your partner’s life. Have in mind that marriages are one of the most important relationships that we have in our life.

The rest is up to you to decide.

Saying thank you is one of the simplest and easiest things that we can do. Yet, for some reason, we often forget to say it. Sometimes we think it’s not that important and sometimes we believe that the person next to us already know that we appreciate all their efforts.

But this kind of thinking is what usually gets us in troubles.

Expressing gratitude to people who’ve done something to you is something we must always do.

But let’s talk about romantic relationships, shall we? Saying thank you to your partner regardless of the fact that they know how much you appreciate them helping you or being there for you is essential if you want to keep your relationship happy.

Still, the question remains. How much is too much and how much is enough?

Let’s be clear, by saying that expressing gratitude to your partner is essential and healthy for the relationship, I don’t mean that you should do that every time he gets up and pick up his mess. NO.

I am saying that thanking your partner in a form of a smile, warm, loving hug, a look in the eyes or a simple note on the fridge every once in a while, can make a big difference in their life and your relationship overall. It doesn’t matter if they know how appreciated and loved they are by you. One simple ‘thank you’, ‘you are the best’ on a daily basis can not only brighten their day but also brighten their life.

Believe it or not, this has been confirmed by a study. A research done by Cameron, Amette, & Smith (2011) supported this idea, but also added a very interesting insight. Their findings proved that a spouse’s feeling and expressing gratitude in their relationship is tightly associated with their marital satisfaction. However, while a person’s feeling of gratitude predicted the spouse’s marital satisfaction, their expressed gratitude did not, which pointed out one important thing.

Expressing gratitude does not only mean saying thank you. If you want to truly express your gratitude towards someone, words aren’t going to cut it. You need to feel the things that you are saying.

I admit, it is not always that easy as it seems, but in the end, it is worth it. To be that open and to have such great gratitude towards your partner, you must see your partner in a positive light. That means that you must first free yourself from all the grudges, all of your anger in your heart, at least for a moment. You must be ready to accept the fact that this offering of gratitude may actually be used against you. You must take everything into consideration.

Because there is nothing more wonderful than that intimate and beautiful moment when your partner accepts and graciously welcomes your gift. Those are the things that make one relationship stronger and generally happier.

Showing each other how much you appreciate one another and how much you care for each other is the key to a long-lasting and loving connection!

Feeling lonely is not an emotion reserved only for those that are rolling solo.  Rather it’s an emotion that those who are in a relationship can feel too.

Romantic relationships are supposed to bring a sense of fulfillment and peace into your life. They’re supposed to make you feel complete and whole.

But, if you feel lonely and estranged when hanging out with, or just looking at, the person who you share a bed with, then the fact that you’re in a relationship isn’t much of a consolation.

So, the question is: What can make you feel lonely in a relationship?

You can feel this way in the presence of your partner since something is not working the way it should in the relationship itself. 

You can also feel lonely in your relationship because you look to your significant other to fill the emptiness that you’ve been carrying within yourself.

And last but not least, you can feel lonely around your partner because they’re failing to provide you with the closeness and sense of connectedness you need.

When you’re in a relationship in which you and your significant other no longer share the mutual connection you once had, you might be tempted to sweep the problem under the carpet, hoping it’ll solve itself. But, know that this is not a good idea. Because chances are that you’ll continue to feel lonely and your relationship will become even more unbearable.

So, instead of waiting for the problem to solve itself, try looking for ways in which you could better the situation, and then take action.

In what follows, we’ve offered three ways you can do that:

1. Talk to your partner openly about how you feel.

Tell your significant other how you feel and maybe you’ll find out that they feel lonely too. At the very least, if they truly love you, they’ll naturally want to relieve your loneliness.

Both of you try to find out what’s causing the emotional distance in your relationship. Are your schedules so tight that you can’t find time to connect? Or, is your partner so impatient with your personal problems that you talk to anyone but them about your worries and deepest insecurities and fears?

No matter what the reason is, being aware of it and then discussing it with your significant other may help you close the emotional distance between you.

2. Overcome your loneliness with the help of outside support.

If you don’t feel that your partner can lessen your loneliness, then don’t hesitate to turn to your family and friends. Let them give you advice and suggest ways you can work through the problem with your partner. Who knows? Maybe their advice will help you and your beloved feel close again.

3. Walk away.

If you know you’ve done everything in your power to overcome your loneliness in your relationship, and yet, nothing has worked, perhaps you should consider leaving.

It’s hard and painful to let go of someone whom you were in a relationship with for a long time and whom you were deeply connected with once. But, if that connection no longer exists, if the spark between you is gone, and if your relationship no longer brings happiness, excitement, and a sense of fulfillment into your life, then what’s the point of staying in it?

Remember – you deserve to be in a healthy, harmonious, deep, fulfilling relationship, and you should never settle for anything less than that.