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Stop Asking Yourself Questions That Keep Getting You Stuck Instead of Providing A Way Forward

 Have you noticed that every time we go through a certain emotional struggle in our life, the first thing that we usually ask ourselves is WHY?

The truth is, we can’t really help it. It is an instinct, something that comes naturally and forces us to question our choices. It is something we ask ourselves when life feels difficult hoping that we would find comfort in our answers.  

We ask ourselves WHY because we think it would help us find our way out.

But it never does. It never gets us anywhere. It only makes us run around in circles.

It gets us stuck in a place without giving us a sign about our next step. It leaves us clueless and even more frustrated. That is why these why questions are the worst thing you could ever ask yourself. They don’t provide us with a real answer. The only answer to why is because.

If we want to find answers and help ourselves understand the struggle that we are going through, we must ask ourselves WHAT and HOW. These two words are more powerful than you think. Because when you put a question mark next to them, they become a solution.

You will be surprised when you realize that answering the questions WHAT and HOW can actually help you solve all of your problems.

First of all, ask yourself WHAT you are thinking and feeling.

Take some time to decipher your emotions and identify your feelings. The idea is to encourage yourself to understand your soul better. To get to know yourself. To really experience everything that is going on inside of you.

Question your emotions. Ask yourself how you are feeling. Do that every day and start writing down your answers. Everything you feel is a part of you.  If you feel sadness, accept it. If you feel anger, acknowledge it. With every emotion you embrace it will be easier for you to move and continue your journey.

Second of all, ask yourself HOW you can get the things that you want.

After you spend some quality time analyzing your struggles, take some time to really consider what you have to do to keep moving on. You may have to change the direction. Or accept some brutal truths along the way. You may even have to sacrifice some part of your life to get where you want to get. Don’t be afraid. In fact, I advise you to do all of this without hesitation.

Because making changes and accepting challenges will help you grow. If you spend a lot of time asking yourself the WHAT questions, you will have enough information to realize what your next step is. And with the help of your HOW answers, you will get where you were headed in no time.

So, stop asking yourself WHY questions that keep getting you stuck. Stop wasting your time. Instead, do your best to provide yourself a way forward.

10 Things You Should Never Ever Apologize For

This world will always find a way to put you down. People will always criticize you. No matter what you do or how perfect you are, there will always be someone who will disapprove of everything you do.

But you have a choice. The trick is to not let that affect you.

You can either give them control over you by letting them hurt your feelings or you can just stand up for yourself and tell them that you are not going to apologize for who you truly are. It is up to you.

These are 10 things you should never ever say “I am sorry” for:

1. Making yourself a number one priority in your life. No one, I repeat no one has the right to tell you what to do with your life. Also, no one decides who you choose to prioritize. Your self-care should always be on top. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone.

2. Following your path and working on your dreams. If being ambitious and hard working is what gives you joy in life then you should do it. Don’t let anyone make you feel sorry for focusing on your journey and making the most of your life.

3.Who you date or sleep with. This is absolutely no one’s business but yourself. Who you choose to share your bed with is your personal choice. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

4. Making time for yourself. No one will do it if you don’t. Taking the time to nurture your soul and spoil your body is essential if you want to have a happy life. Anyone who tells you that you are selfish doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Self-love is an essential part of our lives.  

5. Expressing your innermost feelings. Don’t ever let someone emotion-shame you. This is a big thing. Your emotions are a big part of you. They define you as a person. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed and afraid to express them whenever you feel like it.

6. What you do for a living and how you earn your money. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living as long as you feel emotionally and mentally happy with where you are with your life. Whatever gets you up in the morning, makes your eye sparkle and heart shines bright is worth doing.

7. Your lifestyle. Your diet, what you wear, what you prefer to eat, who you date, what you like are your personal choices. You have the right to enjoy them as much as you like. If someone has a problem with that, they should take it up with themselves.

8. Your past mistakes and experiences. What’s done is done. What happened in the past is gone. Time cannot be reversed, and experiences cannot be erased. Accept that fact and don’t apologize for doing the things you had to do.

9. Your opinions, no matter how different and peculiar they are. This one is a given. Your opinions shape you. They are you. Why would you say you are sorry for something that you truly believe in? People need to learn to respect others without agreeing with them. And you need to learn that apologizing for who you are is not going to make people like you.

10. Wanting more in life. Striving for more means that you are working on yourself. That you have goals that you wish to fulfill. I see nothing wrong with that. Others can say whatever they want. In the end, it is your opinion that matters the most to you.

This Is What Happens When A Psychopath Becomes Involved With Another Psychopath

A relationship between two individuals that are incapable of genuine emotions is usually a catastrophe. Are you wondering why this is so?

Well, when a psychopath enters a relationship with a person who is not a psychopath, there’s a chance that a basis for emotional intimacy can be created, especially if the non-psychopathic person has a strong sense of optimism and is willing to make compromises. In this type of relationship, it’s very probable that the optimism will be unrealistic and the psychopath will leave their partner with both their heart and hopes shattered.

The optimism, whether realistic or ill-founded, that you might have if you’re involved with a psychopath, can grow out of your belief that he/she has had a difficult life in their childhood. Your partner’s parents were unloving, distant, and harsh and growing up in such family atmosphere made it extremely hard for him/her to trust and establish close, deep relationships with others, even with someone as compassionate, trustworthy, and loving as you.

When two psychopaths get together in a relationship, however, neither of the partners is capable of providing emotional intimacy, support, and security. Both partners are unable to connect with each other on a deep emotional, mental, and spiritual level.

They lack compassion and empathy. They lie, manipulate, and take advantage of each other for personal gain. Their needs and desires outweigh those of their partner. And the only thing they’re interested in is furthering their own interests, and usually, they do this at their partner’s expense.  

A study was conducted at the University of Georgia that followed 172 couples over the first ten years of their marriage. The researchers examined the psychopathic characteristics of the spouses in relation to their partner’s psychopathic personality characteristics.   

The study found that people who have great levels of psychopathic traits may have trouble creating long-term commitments while dating. But, some of them, in fact, make it to marriage.

The authors of the study concluded that people who have great levels of psychopathic traits may not be concerned whether the way they communicate with their partner causes the latter distress. And even if they are, they may have difficulty noticing their partner’s distress and changing course in order to make these experiences less unpleasant or harmful.

Finally, the study showed that whatever problems exist in a couples’ communication in the first months of marriage continue to exist over time. And couples that get along in the first months of relationship are likely to get along throughout.

So, what’s your opinion on this? Do you think two psychopathic individuals can make it together? Feel free to share your opinion with us in the comments section below.

Here’s The Truth About The Woman That Is Always Wearing A Smile On Her Face

The woman that wears a smile on her face every single day is the embodiment of strength. She is a warrior. She is unique.

The woman that is always smiling has been to hell and back. She has faced challenges and gone through pains those around her will never know. Her patience has been tested and her trust betrayed time and time again. She’s experienced and probably is still experiencing betrayals, misfortunes, and heartaches, but she never shows that.

The woman that is always wearing a smile on her face has hit rock bottom many times. But, every time life knocked her down, she managed to find the strength and courage within herself to get up, shake off her pain, and move on. That’s why she never gives up fighting for her happiness, even when she’s going through a difficult period in her life.

The woman that is always smiling has been betrayed and hurt by people closest to her. She’s let them into her heart, she’s given them her love, and she’s trusted them fully only to be manipulated, used, and judged for her actions. That’s why she is very careful now about who she lets into her life and who she places her faith into.

The woman that smiles every single day has made many mistakes.  She’s failed to fulfill many goals. She’s experienced loss time and time again. She’s lost many friendships and been in relationships with irresponsible, fickle, selfish guys. But she’s never let these bad experiences break her spirit. She’s never let these difficult experiences make her stop believing in herself.

The woman that is always wearing a smile on her face isn’t always happy. She’s not always satisfied with her life.

Sometimes she is suffering. Sometimes she feels like her entire life is falling apart. Sometimes she feels like her world is crumbling in front of her eyes and there’s nothing she can do to stop that. But, she hides her distress and sorrow behind her cheerful smile. Why?

Because she chooses not to complain. She chooses not to carry resentment and bitterness in her heart. She chooses not to burden others with her problems and pains.

She chooses to fight. To be strong. To be resilient.

She chooses to overcome every worry, challenge, temptation, and hardship life sends her way.

She chooses to be grateful. Because she knows that there are people who genuinely love and care about her. She knows she has family and friends that she can always rely on.

The woman that is always wearing a smile on her face is proud of herself and everything she’s done in her life.

She’s proud of the way she’s managed to survive the bad times in her life. She’s proud of the fact that she’s turned her failures into valuable lessons about life. She’s learned how to be strong, resilient, and brave, even in the most difficult and painful situations.

She’s learned how to smile cheerfully through tears, laugh through sorrow, and ooze positivity, joy, and love even when her heart is wrapped in darkness.

“Alternative” Addiction Rehabilitation Programs That Work

When a person suffers from a physical ailment, like a broken arm, there is a certain and well-trod path to recovery. However, when the problem is in both the body and the mind, as occurs with addiction, the treatment plan is much less certain. Everyone suffers from addiction differently, and as a result, most substance abusers require exceedingly personalized care to reach healthy and happy sobriety.

Unfortunately, much of addiction rehabilitation isn’t personalized at all. In fact, the vast majority of rehab centers provide the same three steps for recovery: detox, counseling and aftercare. While such a bare-bones approach can be effective in certain situations, many substance abusers need something more — and that’s where alternative programs come in.

Many inpatient drug rehab facilities are beginning to focus on different strategies for healing the mind and body of those afflicted by addiction. While they might not look like the rehab centers one expects, these facilities offer recovery and success thanks to personalized care through programs that have been shown to have a positive effect on many who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction — like these:

Massage

Massage doesn’t just feel good — it also has myriad positive impacts on the body and mind. Massage has been found to increase feel-good hormones, which serve to replace those often missing during recovery. Additionally, massage facilitates the removal of metabolic waste, which can build up during a period of addiction, and the therapy reduces the impacts of anxiety, depression and other psychological concerns that often accompany substance abuse. Massage is among the most popular alternative treatments available at rehab centers because it is known to be so effective in treatment.

Acupuncture

Acupuncture is a treatment that involves inserting hair-thin needles at specific locations and depths around the body. An important element of Eastern medicine, acupuncture is said to facilitate the movement of energy through the body to improve the body’s own self-healing mechanisms. For those disinterested in needles, acupressure accomplishes a similar result through targeted, intense massage. While studies on acupuncture are mixed, with some demonstrating obvious success and others failing to reach a clear conclusion, many people find that acupuncture helps them control painful conditions, like substance withdrawal, with minimal risk.

Aromatherapy

The sense of smell is exceedingly undervalued. In truth, smell is among the most powerful sensations, deeply connected to memories and emotions in ways that remain poorly understood. This is why aromatherapy is a formidable tool in drug and alcohol rehab centers; it taps into the power of smell to assist in healing and promote well-being. Aromatherapy can take many forms, from essential oils dispersed in diffusers to aroma-laden lotions, skin masks, bath compounds and more. Different smells produce different effects in different people, so it is worthwhile to experiment with aromatherapy more than once.

Meditation

Meditation is the art of centering oneself in the moment, gaining greater awareness and maintaining a healthy sense of self. There are almost uncountable ways to meditate, from lying down and listening to meditative tones to practicing breathing exercises to paying attention to one’s surroundings to mindfully exercising. The key to meditation is to monitor one’s thoughts and avoid harsh judgement of oneself, one’s environment, one’s community, etc. This is an especially important practice for those recovering from substance abuse because it helps one delve deeper into the causes of addiction, the lingering addictive behaviors and other thoughts and emotions detrimental to one’s life.

Chanting

Chanting is a rhythmic, repetitive song, prayer, word or sound. It’s common to find people chanting in religious or spiritual environments, but chanting can be a wholly secular activity, as well. Like meditation, chanting focuses the mind on a particular concept, reducing uncontrolled, racing thoughts and emotions and helping a person develop positivity and resolve. Some researchers believe that chanting can have a physiological effect in reducing blood pressure and heart rate and increasing the presence of feel-good hormones.

Yoga

Often, prolonged substance abuse results in an atrophied body and mind, which makes it difficult for those in recovery to integrate into the world without their addictive crutch. Yoga helps to bolster both body and mind through mindful movement, which requires strength, flexibility and intention. Another Eastern practice long used for health, yoga has recently been coopted by get-thin-quick schemes and lost much of its beneficial meaning. However, when yoga is practiced mindfully, it can function as a holistic training beneficial to addiction recovery.

It’s important to note that alternative treatments alone usually aren’t enough — those suffering from substance abuse need traditional treatment, too; detox, counseling and aftercare are paramount for ensuring a life free from dangerous substances. Still, the addition of holistic treatments like those listed above tend to bring greater relaxation, comfort and meaning to the process of sobriety, which might mean faster and longer-lasting success.

Steps To Recovery For Cancer Patients

Recovery for cancer patients starts immediately after diagnosis. This should be the mentality and not otherwise. Your whole life changes once you find out you have cancer. The journey from there on will be hard and emotional.

It is easy to lose hope along the way, but when you have the right support, you can get through anything. So, what do you do once you find out you have cancer?

1.    Find an expert in your disease

If you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, find an expert in that area, and consult him. Don’t stop there find another and other to be sure that you are getting the best type of treatment where you are.

2.    Build your inner grit

You will be fighting for your life. Make sure you have consulted nutritionists and integrative doctors to help build up your physical and spiritual well-being. You have to be proactive in this situation because going through treatment is not easy. You want to remain strong.

3.    Get support

Involve your family and friends to help you through these trying times. Friends and family can help you do most of the research. You can also opt to go for a womens cancer retreat and meet people going through the same thing as you relax your body and eat healthy food. It is also essential to find and join a cancer support group near you. A cancer survivor will understand what you are going through and offer emotional support throughout the process.

Pampered in paradise has great packages for womens cancer retreat, and they also host events. It is never too early to join a cancer support group.

4.    Stay informed

Studies have shown that patients who are well informed have less of a hard time during treatment. Write down all the questions you have about your disease and find the answers. Your family can help you with this. There are numerous resources online that you can get information from as well as the experts you found in step one above.

5.    Know your treatment options

Medicine is advancing in technology as well as the pharmacy department. After researching all about your disease and consulting various experts, you will have a list of possible treatment options. Do your research on those as well and see which one is best for you.

Different types of cancer have different types of treatment. Each of these treatments has various side effects. Some are also more likely to increase your chances of survival, and some are not. Be informed enough to make a reasonable decision concerning the treatment.

6.    Remember to stay healthy

Follow your new diet to the core. Fit in some simple exercises within your schedule to keep your physical strength up. If you are spiritual, pray some more, meditate or do some yoga. Maintain social contact with friends and family.

You never know how long your battle will be, but you will be one step ahead if you follow the above steps.

The Busier We Are, The More We Need To Be Alone: Here Are A Few Ideas How To Relax

This world is an express train that is going too fast and I cannot bear the pressure. Personally, I feel like I am going to throw up.

Look around you. People are getting busier and busier by the hour. They are always running somewhere. They are always rushing to catch a bus, finish an errand, get that check, get lunch, get to work.

I get it. We are busy working bees that are not satisfied with the ordinary. We always want more. More work, more knowledge, more information, more money. That is truly amazing if you ask me, but it is not always beneficial for us.

Look around you. We are The Burnout Generation. We live in a world where everything we can imagine is possible if you work hard enough. And so, we do. We put our heart and souls into accomplishing our dreams and we succeed. But somewhere down the line, we forget to take care of ourselves. We let ambition and greed take control of our lives.

And after some time, we realize that the busier we get, the more we need to be alone.

We realize that spending time with ourselves and enjoying the silence is actually the best thing that we can do for ourselves. Because it really is.

In fact, according to recent studies, taking time for yourself restores the nervous system, helps us sustain energy and makes our minds more responsive and adaptive to the complexity of the environments.

However, being quiet is not about distancing yourself from the daily distractions of your office. Real silence means more than that. It means silencing your inner chaos and finding peace within yourself. It is about resting your body, mind, and soul and taking a break from life’s dynamic.

Here are four effective methods that will help you relax:

1. Spend more time outdoors. Ditch the phone and the TV and go to your cabin in the woods. Be offline for a few days. Isolate yourself from all the media and all the people. Let them know that you need to recharge and let go of everything. Allow yourself to breathe.

2. Make breaks from work. Close the office door every once in a while, and take a deep breath. Or even better, take a break and eat your lunch outside. Go to the nearest park and enjoy the morning sun. Close your eyes and enjoy the silence. Meetings can wait. Your wellbeing that shouldn’t be left on hold.

3. Go on a media fast. Stop giving a damn about your emails. You are a human being who needs rest. You deserve to be left alone. You deserve to find your peace. Turn off your damn phone for one day and just try to enjoy life from a real perspective. See things with your eyes not your camera.  Enjoy every moment because you never know what tomorrow might bring.

4. Try a meditation retreat. Yes, the world is getting louder, but it is your choice whether you will ignore it or let it drive you mad. If none of the above helps you, I suggest you try meditation retreat. It is an experience that will change the way you think and the way you see the world. It will help you slow and take look around.

So, what are you waiting for?

The Concealed Health Risks Of Bad Relationships

Considering the fact what a great number of articles we come across every day about what we should do to maintain our health and how many TV-shows have been broadcast in recent years in which therapists explain what kind of food and physical exercises are good for our overall well-being, it’s no wonder that nowadays we’re more health conscious than ever.

We’re focusing a great amount of attention to the type of food we consume and the environment we live in. We’re trying to make sure we eat organic, gluten-free food, drink healthy, sugar-free beverages, go to the gym at least 4 times a week and, of course, avoid toxic environments.

But, what many of us fail to understand is that the quality of our relationships, both romantic and otherwise, can be as toxic to our physical health as junk food or any toxic environment. Poor or troubled relationships can lead to anxiety, stress, depression, and even more serious health conditions.

We can have bad, toxic relationships with members of our family, our friends, our coworkers, or our partners. So, the real question is: How can you tell that you are in this kind of relationship?

To figure that out, we advise you to answer the following questions:

When you are around the person, do you generally feel comfortable and content, or do you usually feel stressed out and drained?

Do you feel safe when you’re around this person or do you feel like you’re in danger?

Do you feel happy or mentally and physically drained after you spend time with this person?

Do you feel that they’re invested in the relationship as much as you are?

– What kind of feelings predominate in your relationship with this person: feelings of satisfaction, happiness, and security, or uneasiness and tension?

Do you feel like this person accepts and cherishes you for who you are, or do you feel like you have to change your behavior to make them happy and like you more?

After you answer the questions, try to make a comparison between your answers and these descriptions of healthy, happy and bad, unhealthy relationships:

-The typical characteristics of healthy, fulfilling relationships are kindness, patience, understanding, security, healthy arguments, mutual respect and caring, and willingness to make compromises and sacrifices for each other’s happiness.

The typical characteristics of troubled, toxic relationships are selfishness, lack of trust, jealousy, dishonesty, insecurity, rejection, unfounded, harsh criticism, and derogatory comments.

How can you change a bad, unhealthy relationship?

The first thing you need to do so as to change an unhealthy relationship is to identify the red flags that you are in one. More often than not, people are unaware that they’re in a toxic relationship, even when members of their family and their friends can spot the warning signs.

Then always remember that you deserve to be surrounded by people who truly love and care about you and who are able to see your worth. You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, dignity, and love.

Once you begin to truly believe that you’re worthy of other people’s respect and love, you’ll also start feeling more comfortable addressing bad behavior when it happens.

For instance, it’ll become easier for you to tell the person directly how you feel. Telling them something, such as, “I don’t like the fact that you’re always laying the blame at my door, even when I’m not the one to blame,” or “I wish that you’d stop making me feel like whatever I do is never good enough” won’t be difficult for you at all.

Last but not least, if you’ve exhausted all ways of changing the unhealthy relationship, and nothing worked, then you should consider reducing the amount of time you spend with the toxic person, or even distancing yourself from them completely.

Remember – maintaining your mental, physical, and emotional health should always be your number one priority and you must never compromise your well-being for anyone or anything.

Is It Love Or Is It Lust? 5 Signs You Might Be Confusing Intimacy With Sex

Sometimes we feel too much. We meet someone new and suddenly we feel like are head over heels in love with them. One look is all it takes to light that fire inside of you. And before you know it, we cannot keep our hands to ourselves.

There are fireworks in the air and the sheer excitement makes you feel like you are on 7th heaven.

But are you really?

Like I said, sometimes we feel too much and because of the intensity of our feelings, we often mistake good sexual chemistry with real love. Luckily, there are people who are not afraid to embrace their emotions. These people find it easier to recognize the truth.

If you feel lost, read on. These are a few signs that you might be confusing love and sex:

1. Your connection is based on physical attraction. Try to think of the first thing about your partner that ever caught your attention when you met them? Was it their kindness, their incredible sense of humor or their rock-hard abs? Your answer will probably help you reveal the truth.

2. You are only lovers and that is that. The sex is great, but you don’t really have anything else in common. You don’t really share the same interests. Plus, you don’t know much about their past and their life in general. If this is the case, it is obvious that there is nothing more than a powerful physical and sexual attraction between you two.

3. You spent most of the time in bed. You don’t really go on dates or do anything else than making love. In fact, you’ve never been out in public together. You mostly hang out at home. And when the sex is done, you feel like there is nothing else you could do with them. It is obvious why you are together.

4. The sex is amazing, but it somehow doesn’t make you satisfied. You make love and everything at that moment is mind-blowing. Your senses are intensified, your energy is going crazy and your desire is making you go nuts. You feel like you are out of this world. Like you are in a completely different dimension. But the moment you finish it and it all comes back to normal, you feel like there is something missing. Being with that person doesn’t make you fulfilled.

5. You don’t feel comfortable introducing them to your family. You don’t see a future with them. Plus, you are afraid that your family will see the truth once they see them. That you two are not really a couple. So, keeping it a secret seems like the best option for now.

Sometimes The Woman That Is Always There For Those Around Her Needs Someone To Be There For Her

When you are the woman that is always there for those around her – you have a deep, waste ocean of feelings within you. You’re not scared to plunge into it and drown for those that are too afraid to swim.

When you are the woman that is always there for those around her, you never stop giving. You give pieces of your heart and soul to others to make them happy.

But, when you are the woman that is always there for those around her, you also hurt. You feel emotional pain. You worry. You feel confused. You wonder whether you’ll be given the love that you so selflessly and unconditionally give to others. You wonder whether one day, someone will come to you and ask you, “How are you feeling?” “How are you healing?”

And since this never happens, you look deep within yourself to find your inner strength and courage to heal your wounds and mend your broken heart. You look for hope in the depths of your soul. You tell yourself that you don’t need anyone to heal your wounds. You don’t need anyone to stay by your side and hold your hand while you try to save yourself.

Because you’re your own savior. You’re a warrior who is not afraid to lose a battle or two because you know that you have what it takes to win an entire war.

Yet, sometimes you need someone to be there for you.

Sometimes the woman who always lets others rely on her when they need help needs to have someone she can rely on. Sometimes the woman who reminds everyone around her of their worth needs someone to remind her of her own.

Sometimes the woman who appreciates everyone around her needs to know that she’s appreciated. Sometimes the woman who has the biggest smile hides the greatest sorrow behind her laugh and cheerful face.

So, if you are the woman that is always there for everyone, know that you have a heart of gold. You have a heart which is pure and deep. You have a heart which is rare. You have a character which is an inspiration to many.

Also know that there are strength and power within you which enable you to overcome any challenge, problem, and pain life sends your way. They enable you to prevent any harsh truth, hurtful word, or bad action from destroying your self-esteem and taking your happiness away.

Last but not least, know that you aren’t obligated to carry other people’s problems and pains on your shoulders. Remind yourself that your heart, body, and soul need to rest. Remind yourself that from time to time, you need to invest the energy and love you so selflessly give to others in yourself.  

Remind yourself that you don’t always have to be tough and resilient. Remind yourself that you have the right to cry, be vulnerable, and ask for help.

Remind yourself that you don’t always have to be the one that saves herself.

Because you deserve to be saved by someone else once in a while.