You have a great partner, a loving family, and an amazing career. Yet, there’s always something that makes you feel discouraged, sad, and lonely. Are you wondering why this is so? Well, maybe this will sound strange to you, but the reason for this is that you’re a highly capable and intelligent person.

Most intelligent people are struggling to experience happiness. While their lives may look perfect on the outside, how they feel on the inside is a completely different thing. There’s always something that’s bothering them.

There are 6 reasons why people with high IQ levels fail to be happy.

Here they are:

1. They have high standards.

Intelligent people know what they want to achieve and where they want to be in their life and they won’t settle for anything less than that. This means that it’s hard for them to be satisfied with their successes, relationships, and everything they’ve achieved in their life.

That’s why they work hard and relentlessly towards their goals and don’t let anything prevent them from achieving personal and professional success.

Even when they’ve achieved something they worked for, they start establishing new goals to pursue. The list of their goals is never-ending.

2. They constantly over – analyze everything.

Many intelligent people tend to be overthinkers. They over- analyze their thoughts, opinions, decisions, and actions. They overthink everything that’s happening around them too. Overthinking often wears and stresses them out and makes them feel anxious, especially when the results of what they do don’t match their expectations.

3. They’re too strict with themselves.

People with high IQ levels give their best to achieve both personal and professional success, yet even when they succeed in this, they feel like they haven’t tried enough, like they could’ve done things better.

They often think about and blame themselves for their past mistakes and failures. This makes them feel frustrated, disappointed, and guilty. When they’re too hard on themselves, they fill themselves with negative energy, and this poisons their happiness.

4. They’re always looking for bigger and better things in life.

Intelligent people are always searching for a bigger purpose in life. They’re rarely satisfied with the present moment and the reality is never enough for them. It’s boring. It’s actually worse than that – they feel like they don’t belong here, but to a different era.

They want to experience something unusual, idealistic, eternal. And because they never get to experience this in the real world, they feel like something is missing in their lives.

5. They’re rarely understood by other people.

Many intelligent people feel misunderstood by others. It’s hard for them to find a like – minded people with whom they can have meaningful and exciting conversations. They rarely find someone with whom they can share their opinions and beliefs about important and fascinating things.

6. Many intelligent people suffer from psychological problems.

Many people with high IQ levels suffer from mental disorders, such as social anxiety and bipolar syndrome. And intelligent people who don’t have any psychiatric disorder are still prone to develop so – called existential depression, which often results from thinking too much.

The reason for this is that intelligent people analyze everything in depth and this often leads them to analyze life and death, which can be a quite draining experience.

What other things, in your opinion, make intelligent people fail to be happy? Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

Image: Laura Peña Gorostegui

Constructive arguments make any relationship healthy, be that emotional or otherwise. Yet, when the participants begin to lose their temper, arguments get heated, and both parties end up feeling frustrated and hurt. Luckily, this can be avoided by using the Socratic method.

What is the Socratic Method?

The Socratic method or questioning is like a dialogue which involves asking and answering questions that will enable you to defend your position by getting people to see things from your perspective.

The method was named after the great Greek philosopher Socrates. During his conversations with his students he would ask them a question after a question until he proved that the beginning assumption was actually a fallacy.

So, instead of arguing back and forth and forcing your opinion down the other person’s throat, you ask questions so as to make them think about and look at the situation from your own point of view rather than just verbalize their own feelings and opinion about the subject at hand.

For example, imagine the following situation: You come home late and your boyfriend/girlfriend gets mad at you and starts shouting at and accusing you of cheating on them. You have two options.

You can start defending yourself by denying your partner’s accusations and come up with all kinds of excuses and even start yelling at them as well and turn the argument into a drama. Or you can use the Socratic method and ask them something like: “Why are you so mad? What made you think I’d do that? Are you upset because I came home late or because you don’t trust me?”

In this way, you’ll avoid hurting your partner’s feelings, but also show that you want to listen to them and encourage them to express how they feel. 

Yet, make sure you don’t ask your questions in a forceful manner because this will put pressure on the other person and only worsen the whole situation.

This useful tool will not only prevent you from creating unnecessary drama and conflict and feeling stressed out, but it’ll also help you to reach a resolution to the conflict. Either your partner will see that they wrongly accused you or you’ll realize that you were wrong.

The Socratic method can be used in debates among more people as well. For example, if you’re talking to someone or to a group of people who are pro animal testing and you’re against it, the Socratic questioning would be the best way for you to make your point clear, but also to make the other party give up their assumption and arguments themselves.

For example, instead of saying “Animals aren’t meant to be tested”, you can ask them “Do you really think animals should be used in experiments?” and so on.

These questions will make the other party look at the issue from your perspective and save you from spending a lot of time debating and trying to convince them to believe in your point of view.

The Socratic method is especially beneficial when it’s your loved one who is on the receiving end of your argument. So, you need to know how to appropriately form and present your arguments. After all, no one wants to threaten and hurt the feelings of the people they hold dear.

So, next time when you find yourself in an argument, make sure you don’t react hastily and throw your points in the other person’s face and try to convince them. Instead, give the Socratic method a shot.

Toxic people…We all have dealt with them at some point in our life. They’re highly negative, self-centered, controlling people that use a myriad of manipulation techniques to take advantage of you.

They come in all shapes and sizes. They’re the caring and dedicated family member; the lovely and generous friend; the supportive co-worker; the affectionate and loyal partner – they’re everywhere around you. Yet, due to the fact that these people are very good at hiding their true colors and manipulating others in subtle ways, most people fail to realize they’re dealing with them until it’s too late. Until a considerable emotional damage is done.

How to spot a toxic person.

Dr. Nancy Irwin and author and therapist Shannon Thomas explain how you can spot toxic people and handle them effectively. They say you know you’re dealing with a toxic person if they make you feel emotionally drained and negative when you interact with them. What all toxic people have in common is that they’re constantly judgmental and needy, and they enjoy bringing you down and downplaying the importance of what you do.

They can affect your emotions, opinions, and the way you see yourself and your worth. They can make you believe their lies and coerce you into doing something you wouldn’t normally do. They can even make you question your own logic and sanity.

In order to avoid their toxic grip and never fall prey to their devious mind games, you need to be able to identify the signs that show a toxic person is trying to manipulate you.

These are the 3 most important ones:

1. They’re consistently blaming you.

They can make a thousand mistakes and make you feel uncomfortable and hurt your feelings, but they’ll never take responsibility for that, let alone apologize to you. Instead, they’ll always shift the blame onto you. For example, if they have a bad day or make a mistake at work, they’ll tell you that it’s your fault because you annoyed and stressed them out the other day.

One thing you should remember is that there’s no use confronting them about something they did, they will never admit it. They’ll pretend to be kind and innocent whereas you’ll always be the bad one.

2. They demand your full attention.

Yeah, it’s all about them. A toxic person will demand you give them all of yourself and if you refuse to do that, they’ll criticize and make you feel bad.

They expect you to spend the most of your time with them and to distance yourself from other people, be that family members or friends. In fact, they can be quite controlling when it comes to that.

For example, if you have a toxic partner, they’ll try to make you avoid your friends, but of course, they’ll do this in a subtle way. Their typical comment would be: “I feel like you’re neglecting me and don’t care about me anymore while you always make time for your buddies.”

And if you agree to make them the center of your attention, it’s very likely you’ll end up isolated from your friends and others who truly care about you. And that’s what a toxic person wants the most.

3. You never know what version of them you’re getting.

A toxic person will make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. You can never tell what type of mood they’ll be in, and you have to be careful about what you say around them for fear of repercussions.

For example, if you say something (unintentionally or deliberately) that annoys or doesn’t suit them, let alone complain about something they did, get prepared to endure their negative and harsh comments about how much terrible you are.

It’ll be hard for you to tell what version of them you’re getting – the good one or the bad one. They can be kind, friendly, and supportive one moment and start making an emotional scene and blaming you for something that’s not your fault the next.

How you can effectively steer clear from their toxicity.

Limit your contact with them.

You should try limiting your contact with them until there’s none. Start by gradually reducing your interactions with them and set boundaries.

For example, when a person who you know is toxic calls or texts you, don’t respond to them right away. Instead, wait for a half an hour to pass and then call them back. In this way, you’ll show them you’ve become detached and that you can’t be always available to them.

Of course, limiting your contact with a toxic person can be difficult, especially if they’re a family member or your partner. But, by giving yourself some distance and setting clear boundaries, you’ll pull this through more easily.

Give yourself time to heal.

Even if you succeed in removing a toxic person from your life, you’ll still have to deal with the emotional damage they’ve caused you. The healing process might not be as easy as you expect because it can’t happen overnight. You need to give yourself time to heal.

Use your experience as a valuable lesson and don’t blame yourself for falling into their harmful trap.  Be patient and surround yourself with people who honestly love and respect you and have a positive influence on you.

Image source: Benjamin Thomes