Empathy is usually defined as a person’s ability to understand, resonate, and ‘read’ other people’s motives and the feelings behind them.
This incredible gift that empaths have, usually leaves them emotionally drained, especially when they are among a large crowd of people.
Because of this, it is essential for empaths to take really good care of themselves. When empaths start feeling emotionally wasted and drained – they need to take a timeout and recharge.
If you are an empath, below you have 8 perfect hobbies for you that you should definitely try if you want to stay emotionally stable.
1. LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE
There are many benefits that you’ll gain if you decide to take the time and learn a new language. It can be beneficial for your career, it will make your traveling more enjoyable and easier for meeting up with strangers.
And not only that, but by learning a new language you can better your overall emotional health and well-being; it gives you new improved insights into the lives of other people which, in turn, makes you more understanding of others and more able to look at things from a different angle.
Plus, it makes you more creative, it keeps your mind active and sharp, and it is indeed a distraction that is worth having.
2. COOKING
Even though preparing a meal is an activity that is necessary, there is a difference between simply cooking to make yourself something to eat and truly enjoying in the process.
Many researchers have discovered that the process of cooking and baking will make you more creative, happy, and calm. Plus, it will give you the energy for carrying out your daily activities. Also, following a recipe brings your attention to details and it serves as a great distraction.
3. MEDITATING
One effective way for calming down when your thoughts are going wild is engaging yourself in meditation.
You can find various meditations in the “Buddha’s Book of Sleep” by Joseph Emet. Practicing meditation can help you deal better with your emotions because it puts your focus on your breathing instead of your plaguing thoughts.
4. PLAYING A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
Playing a musical instrument will provide you with a bunch of health benefits: it will sharpen your mind, boost your happiness, relieve your stress, improve your memory, and so much more.
Relieving the stress and boosting the levels of joy and happiness are the main benefits that will help the empaths heal from their emotional burnouts.
5. WRITING
It doesn’t matter if you are not a professional writer – keeping a journal is enough. By writing your story, your poems, or anything that you want to share with others, the mere process of writing is incredibly calming and relaxing.
You will soon find yourself to be more emotionally expressive and more able to deal with your emotions effectively. Writing your emotions down allows you to look at them from a different angle and deal with them much more easily than when they were just in your head.
6. GARDENING
Many studies have found that gardening is an excellent physical activity that lowers the stress and depression levels while improving the mental and physical well-being and clearing the mind at the same time.
Besides, you’ll be left with a beautiful lawn that will make your neighbors turn heads.
7. READING A GOOD BOOK
You will find yourself incredibly relaxed and at peace when you lose yourself in a great book. When you get lost in a book, your mind enters a new state, almost trance-like, which is very similar to the mental state during meditation.
Moreover, many experts have found that reading has a therapeutic effect on your mind and serves as a relaxing distraction for those that need it.
8. CHALLENGING YOURSELF MENTALLY
From crossword puzzles and riddles to solving mathematical problems and card games – there are numerous ways that you can challenge and engage yourself mentally.
However, there is one activity that is especially effective when it comes to relaxing and keeping your mind alert – it is jigsaw puzzles. Studies have proved that solving jigsaw puzzles will improve and sharpen your memory while reducing your risk of mental illness.
Soulmate. Someone whose soul speaks the same language as yours. Someone who challenges you, awakens you, and touches different parts of you to make your soul transcend to a new-found and higher level of consciousness.
Some say that you only need to wait to find our soulmate.
How To Know When You Found Your Soulmate?
You can meet your soulmate many times throughout our life. However, if you are not able to decipher the signs whether it’s the right person in the right time, you may not experience the full potential of a wonderful relationship with someone who knows your soul.
So, here are 21 tell-tale signs that you may have finally found your soulmate:
1. They Bring Out The Best In You
You both challenge each other, but you do it in a way that you gently inspire and push the other toward growing to their higher selves. You can look at the challenges as stepping stones toward a more balanced and whole version of yourself.
And this is all because your soulmate believes in you and when you are with them you become a better person. And, of course, you do the same for them.
2. You Are Calm And Happy
Many people falsely believe that the relationship is the right one if it feels intense, passionate, and explosive. When you meet your soulmate, you’ll understand why this is not true.
Your soulmate is someone who would bring peace and happiness to your life because the truth is, life is hard enough as it is, so you should be with someone who will make your life better and not bitter.
3. You Can Both Be Silent
“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.” ~ Rumi
There is one place where souls meet past the hectic life, rushed conversations, sex, and shared hobbies – and it is in silence.
When you sit next to someone and you are comfortable with not saying anything, but just enjoying each other’s presence – you have found a very special soul that is connected to your soul on a deep level. And your meeting place is in the profound and peaceful silence.
4. You See Arguments And Disagreements As Chances To Grow
With your soulmate, any conflict turns into a potential for positive change and growth. You both see your arguments and disagreements as growing experiences instead of reasons for splitting up.
You explain instead of fighting, you resolve instead of repeating the problems all over again, and you come together instead of separating and putting up walls between you.
5. You Support Each Other
Your soulmate is someone who supports your aspirations and dreams. It’s someone who believes in you and wants to see you achieve all your goals because they want to see you happy.
They will hold your hand and fight your battles with you. They are the best teammates and the greatest cheerleaders you’ll ever have.
6. You Feel Safe Around Them
A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia
When you are with your soulmate, you feel at home. You feel secure and safe. You finally understand the saying that home is not a place but a person.
7. You Fight For The Relationship
No relationship is perfect and free from conflicts – even when you are in a relationship with your soulmate. No roads are paved with roses, and this is true for relationships as well.
However, when you are with your soulmate, you fight for your relationship. You resolve any issue that pops up: from financial problems and illnesses to family struggles and parenting issues. When you are meant to be, you’ll make it work.
8. You Just Feel It In Your Gut
When you are with your soulmate, it just feels right. Listen to your gut feeling and intuition for they are the speakers of your soul.
This is why this person is called your SOUL mate – you can’t find logic to explain why they are your soulmates. You just feel it deep in your heart.
You just feel it deep in your heart. There is no jealousy, no toxic mind games.
9. You Recognize That TheyCame In Your Life To Teach You An Important Lesson
Because your partner is your yin to your yang, you often may get the feeling that you complement each other. Likewise, you are there to help each other learn, grow, and improve your life’s quality.
If you’ve spent your entire life as a pessimist, your partner can teach you how to find the light in everything. If they are indecisive or lack action, maybe you can teach them how to change that about themselves because crossing the obstacles you never thought you could is what a soulmate means, after all.
10. You Share The Same Goals And Visions In Life
This goes beyond the same career paths or political, religious, and cultural standpoints.
When you both agree on what qualities you respect in a person, what you want out of a relationship, whether or not you want to start a family, where you want to do it, and how, you can say that you and your partner are not just each other’s romantic interest, rather, you are soulmate friends… soulmate companions.
Obviously, there will be disagreements and compromises over those disagreements, but you should agree on the big stuff.
11. Your Partner Takes Away Your Stress And Anxiety
They have a way of calming the storm inside of you. Just a hug makes it all go away. They hold your hand and you immediately feel better. Talking to them about your worries and anxieties blows every giant problem away.
12. You Feel Like You’ve Known Each Other Far Longer Than You Actually Do
You are dating for a few months only, but it feels like you know each other for years. You feel comfortable, happy, appreciated, and understood. There are no cringe moments in the relationship. Silence is cozy and everything comes naturally – every handholding, every touch, every conversation.
You are not forcing anything; things are just unfolding naturally with a sturdy pace that makes both of you feel comfortable.
13. You Understand Your Emotional Languages
You can be with someone who has a different love language than you, you just need to understand their ways of expressing that love. Partners that are disconnected from each other often struggle to understand each other’s signs of affection and care, which leads to disputes and dissatisfaction.
14. You Feel Each Other’s Pain
The pain can be emotional or physical. You not only understand it, but you feel it on your skin. It hurts you seeing each other hurt and you are willing to do anything to decrease that pain or discomfort.
You know each other too well; you know what bothers and annoys you, and you help each other get past those emotional or social triggers.
15. Apologizing Is Not Hard
This is what makes all of us human. Sometimes, our egos blow up in our faces when we have to apologize or say sorry, but not with your soulmate around. When you two do something that hurts or offends you, apologizing is merely a pebble on the road.
You genuinely care about each other and you don’t want to push things under the carpet, so instead of being toxic, you deal with things right then and there.
16. You Agree About Important Things
People that know you may ask whether you’ve ever had a row or how come you are always happy and content. It’s because you are a naturally good fit. You have the same values, the same worldview, the same understanding of life that your overall communication goes swimmingly.
From lifestyle and pets preference to home décor and fashion sense, you agree about most things.
17. You Challenge Each Other
Your soulmate should bring out the best in you, and that means pushing you to become better every day. You motivate each other to reach your goals, to try a little harder every time you fail instead of quit and walk away. Your relationship is all about personal development.
For example, he wants to become a renowned dental technician, while you want to become a famous writer. To do that, you both need to put in the hours of work. Instead of being jealous, you support each other and you grow.
18. You Can Be Intense With Each Other
To some, it may be exhausting to talk about something for hours, but no to you. You get each other’s souls and you can stay up for hours talking about something you are both passionate about.
Different opinions are not criticized, but welcomed. If you stay up in the middle of the night just to talk and cuddle, it could be because your partner is also your soulmate.
19. You have the same mindset.
You and your partner have gotten into a conversation about life, the past, your future plans, and you realized that throughout the years (while not even being together), you have had the same lines of thought, the same mindset, and reactions to things.
At that moment, it becomes all the more obvious: you two were meant to be, and it was all just a matter of timing.
20. Your Differences Don’t Annoy You
You know your differences and you’ve learned to embrace them and even regard them as something you can both benefit from.
You met each other when the timing was right for both; you feel so connected, so eager for one another that differences barely form one tiny piece of the puzzle.
Soulmate Zodiac Signs
For someone to say they found their soulmate, many factors need to have overlapped. That includes personality traits, similar life experiences, education, lifestyle, and personal preferences, but surely, soulmate zodiac can help too. For a more accurate evaluation, your ascendants need to be taken into consideration.
But we know what you may be thinking about, and yes, there is an exception to every rule. We know that. Duuh, right? You are not just some soulmate test away from finding the male/female version of you because it’s never that easy, but while your zodiac sign may not be the only precursor of your potential soulmate, it does play a role.
It maps out your tendencies, your reactions, your emotional responses, the core values you seek out in people, your qualities, and your shortcomings, so in a way, it serves as a guide to who your ideal partner could be.
Find the potential soulmate partners for your horoscope sign below:
Aries: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, and Gemini.
Taurus: Scorpio, Cancer, Capricorn, and Virgo.
Gemini: Aries, Leo, Libra, and Aquarius.
Cancer: Scorpio, Taurus, Pisces, and Virgo.
Leo: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aries.
Virgo: Scorpio, Capricorn, and Taurus.
Libra: Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, and Leo.
Scorpio: Pisces, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, and Taurus.
Our bodies have a way of communicating with us and they like to tell us when something is good or bad for us. The gut feeling we get when we get into things is our primary defense (or encouragement) mechanism that allows us to function in the best way possible.
That’s the case with love – the butterflies, the weightlessness, the craving to see the person you love – it’s your body that simply finds it hard to resist the alluring charm that love brings.
How to know if he’s not the one?
Sometimes we tend to ignore the signs our body is sending us because we like to idealize the reality into what we want it to be rather than what it really is. Our minds can go to such extents that we simply start confusing facts with fantasy.
That’s when you should start listening to your body and see what it has to say about it.
Here are 14 signs that your body gives you when you’re, with the wrong person:
1. You are SICK to your stomach
You know that feeling when you’re in crazy in love and you have the “butterflies” in your tummy?
Imagine the complete opposite of that. I refer to them as “crocodiles” in my stomach. It’s that terrible feeling we get before an exam or an important talk.
If you feel sick to your stomach and feel like you might throw up whenever you two are together it’s a RED ALERT. You might want to seriously reconsider if he’s the one. Feeling anxious about something external can have a great effect on you internally.
2. You CAN’T SLEEP well next to him
In order to fall asleep, you need to be totally relaxed. If you can’t imagine yourself sleeping peacefully right next to your partner and suddenly get the creeps that you might not love him anymore… it’s settled. You need to have a serious talk about where this is going.
3. He can’t seem to GET you OFF
There are some things that happen only with the right person. No matter how “good in bed” your partner is, if he can no longer do the magic trick and make your toes curl even when a slightest naughty thought crosses your mind, HOUSTON, we have a problem.
Sex is a very intimate act that rises to the top when experienced with someone who means the world to you.
4. You have trouble CALMing down
When there is some unresolved issue or a problem, our body heightens the stress levels, which results in you feeling more nervous and tense. Having a hard time relaxing and constantly fighting with your emotions and thoughts might be a serious sign that he’s not the one for you anymore.
5. You are EXHAUSTED
The most common indicator of stress and unhappiness is tiredness. It is also one of the signs your body might be sending you when it’s trying to tell you that he’s not the one. In the battle between pretending to look fine and suppressing your emotions, you can end up feeling extremely exhausted.
6. You feel FRUSTRATED
On top of all this, your patience is running shorter than ever and you find yourself frustrated with everyday little things. Constant questioning and examining all of the options whether he’s is the right person for you leaves you frustrated. And it’s not long before the same frustration takes on every other part of your life.
7. The TENSION is rising over the top
When stress occurs, it’s most likely you’ll experience tension in different parts of your body. The same applies to the stress that is caused by an unhappy relationship. Your body will feel the stress and begin building tension in various body parts.
If you often feel like this, whenever you think of your partner, it’s time to have that important conversation.
8. You feel LONELY even though you aren’t alone
Even though you are formally in a relationship, your body has already given up that idea. You spend time with them but it feels as if no one is there. You are lonely. These feelings of loneliness are not to be ignored because they’re a serious sign that changes need to be made.
Relationships should inspire growth and positive feelings. If your case shows the opposite, the answer to your dilemma is obvious.
9. You are constantly NERVOUS
You often find yourself very distressed and shaken. Discomfort and being unable to sit still are a sign that there are heavy things on your mind. You are in this present moment, but your thoughts are running wild.
10. You’ve fallen victim to the BAD HABITS
On top of all these signs, adding bad habits only makes the list worse. Another accurate stress indicator is biting your fingernails, scratching your skin, smoking. If you are happy and satisfied with where you stand, these occasional habits won’t mean to you much.
But the funny thing about them is that they’re usually performed most when a person is stressed. Your mind acknowledges your condition and therefore uses a physical action in order to reduce the stress.
11. You have a problem with your APPETITE
Going through this confusing and painful experience of deciding the direction of your love life can leave you with sudden changes in your appetite. You’ll either end up stuffing your mouth with comfort food or you’ll avoid eating at all. Gaining or losing appetite is connected to stress and is one of the most important signs that our bodies give us.
12. You can’t SLEEP
You are constantly over-thinking and have troubled sleep. This unsettled issue will cut into all of your time until you resolve it. Take the hint your body is giving you and come to terms with yourself in order to eventually let go of it.
13. You feel ANGRY all the time
Blaming others instead of taking care of yourself is the easiest thing to do. Still, it will only delay your pain and make things harder.
14. Constant HEADACHES
No matter what caused them, whether they are big or small, headaches are the worst of the worst. And the longer you stress over the situation the longer you’ll suffer.
Have you ever laid your hands on that new fiction best-seller that just arrived in your mail and read it cover to cover without even catching your breath? I mean truly finished.
As you slowly turned that last page you took a deep breath and sat there feeling painfully vacant but somehow fulfilled, both at the same time. The ingenious paradox that feels like falling in love with someone you know you’ll never see again but at the same time you are satisfied and calm.
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” ― George R.R. Martin
It’s no surprise readers are the best people. They have experienced more, saw life through a thousand abstract eyes and got to see the world from every unique perspective.
They’ve learned what’s like to be inside somebody’s (in their case everyone’s) skin and watch someone suffer or rise above the ground. They grew closer to every chapter, every sequel, every book.
And I will let you in on a little “secret”. Readers are known to be the best people to fall in love with. So, if you feel somewhat sad, incomplete, it’s possible you haven’t already met your perfect bookworm-y “second self”.
I suggest a change of scenery. Maybe your local bookstore? Or the town’s library?
Here are all the valid reasons why.
Intelligence is the new black
Smart is the new sexy, am I right?
Excuse me, but I’m sure we don’t need science to back us up on this. Reading makes you smarter, increases your overall knowledge in different fields, and helps you to perform better in your GPAs and exam scores.
There’s nothing sexier than a stimulating conversation on a curious topic with “them bookworms”.
Bookworms are creative problem solvers
And because of their universal knowledge in every topic possible, readers are quite awesome to have in tricky situations. People who spend their precious time reading have developed better analytical skills and are the most efficient when it comes to a tight-rope situation.
It’s safe to say that due to their constant mind-travel to fictional worlds beyond your imagination, a reader’s mind is exceptionally creative. And if you’re lucky enough to have one of them in your life, they will make sure to keep your life, as well as the bedroom, interesting.
They will understand you on a deeper level
Empathy is one of the most important virtue people look for. It is vital that you fall for someone who will love you for your soul more than your body.
According to both 2006 and 2009 studies published by Raymond Mar, a psychologist at York University in Canada, and Keith Oatley, a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, people who read have a better ability to empathize and truly deeply understand you.
Furthermore, that they are capable of holding opinions, beliefs, and interests apart from their own. This is known as the “theory of mind”. They have lived a thousand lives through every book. Because of their curious nature to constantly connect with every character, they’ll always try to see things from different perspective.
Judging you is just not their thing.
Bibliophiles have better memories
Just like your body, the brain itself gains a lot from a good workout. And what’s a better way than reading? It is scientifically proven that reading helps you exercise your brain and in return creates new synapses that boosts your memory function.
With every book you finish, you create a brand-new memory as well as a full-storage capacity to hold more information in your brain.
So, say goodbye to forgotten dates or forgotten anniversaries.
Talking is one of their strongest suits
Bookworms are quite the talkers. They have so much to tell, you’ll never want to leave the discussion. Because of their broader vocabulary and knowledge on various subjects, you’ll be amazed by the fluent course your conversation leads.
Readers are more intellectually curious and open-minded than other people, so you can rest assured – You’ll never feel bored again.
How many times have you heard this phrase as a kid?
When we were children, often, our parents or teacher would intentionally or unintentionally shame us for doing something we were not supposed to do. This wasn’t a pleasant experience, but we learned that the guilt feeling was temporary, and it passed quickly.
Even now as adults, we experience shame from time to time. So, what’s the problem with this feeling?
We can all agree that shame is indeed a painful emotion and it can be also highly destructive and toxic to us if we internalize it instead of letting it go.
So, what is toxic shame аnd what causes it?
The psychologist Silvan Tomkins first coined the term. It means that unlike ‘regular’ shame that passes away, toxic shame stays ingrained within the person and it will become a part of the person’s self-identity.
The person will start feeling worthless, their self-esteem will go out the window, and feelings of self-loathing will soon emerge.
This toxic shame most commonly happens through childhood experiences, when our parents have most probably punished us verbally or physically.
Or, this toxic shame can be a result of more extreme forms of abuse such as rape, incest, or any sexual assault that make us lose touch with reality.
Also, this toxic feeling of shame can develop later in life when we experience some traumas from being in dysfunctional or abusive relationships, experiencing humiliation at work, betrayal, etc.
Suffering from toxic shame myself, I can tell you that when this feeling stays with you long enough, it shows in the way you talk, in your relations to others, in your way of thinking… in your whole body and mind.
What are the symptoms of this subtle ‘mental illness’?
There are many signs that tell you have experienced toxic shame: mistrust of others, reliving past traumas, low self-esteem, dysfunctional relationships, self-loathing and feelings of worthlessness, self-victimization, and self-sabotage, ‘settling’ for unfulfilling relationships or jobs, a defensive mechanism, addictive tendencies, and so on.
So, what can you do to heal your toxic shame?
I will reveal to you 5 simple techniques that helped me to get out of these self-destructive feelings and mindset and fix my life. I hope it will help you too.
1. Release the tension from your body.
Our feelings, thoughts, as well as traumas, are stored in our body as muscle pain and illnesses. Feelings of shame are most commonly stored in our lower back area and the stomach region.
So, try to relax and learn how to calm down and soothe your body. Practicing yoga, massage therapies, stretching, or a nice hot bath can help you.
2. Practice authentic self-compassion.
Self-compassion means showing genuine care, love, and concern for oneself. And turning a self-loathing mindset into a self-compassionate one can be a hard process indeed. So, start small.
Start doing one little good thing for yourself every day. For instance, keep repeating to yourself that you are worthy, and also take a good care of your physical as well as your mental needs. For instance, if you tend to have dysfunctional relationships, start removing toxic people from your life. And the sooner the better.
You need to practice self-compassion every day. Without exceptions. Always take a good care of yourself, because at the end of the day, you are what you have. And yes, you are worthy, strong, loveable, intelligent, and yes – you can!
3. Look at yourself in the mirror.
This is a simple exercise that can help you a lot. First, find a quiet alone space where you can relax. Look at yourself in a mirror and allow yourself to feel every emotion that arises when you look yourself in the eyes.
When I first did this exercise, I admit I cried. All those bottled up emotions that I had flooded out. So, feel whatever you feel – be it shyness, anger, disgust, embarrassment, or pain. And when you finish, just smile, hug yourself and say to you that it is okay to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.
4. Become aware of your self-destructive thoughts.
Begin exploring your cognitive distortions and fundamental core beliefs because these are your black lenses from which you see yourself and the world around you. Keeping a private journal can help you with this process. Write your deepest feelings, insights, and don’t forget to keep track of your progress.
5. Re-parent your inner child.
You must go back to your child-self in order to begin your healing process. Because your feelings of toxic shame have its roots in childhood-abuse and abandonment.
By learning how to take care of you as a little kid, and do your inner child work – you can feel the emotions that you might have repressed a long time ago.
By accessing and experiencing those toxic feelings again, you can finally be able to release them from your mind as well as your body.
In turn, you will develop a stronger and deeper connection with yourself and start seeing and respecting yourself in a way you have never done before.
Real Life scenario: You are a real hard-working, busy-as-a-bee type of person. For your services and efforts, you receive a nice compensation as your paycheck. And of course, the first thing that pops on your Wishlist whenever the account balance flashes right back at you is – “Pampering TIME ON”.
As people, we tend to seek happiness and pleasure in different things. Some of us enjoy overspending on materialistic stuff like expensive high-tech gadgets, while others are in constant pursuit of life-thrilling experiences.
So, the question remains: What would you choose when you find yourself torn between the ordinary objects of consumerism on one side and real-life experiences on the other?
If you ask me, I wouldn’t think long before I dive in all of the colorful and exciting experiences life has to offer. And here’s why I suggest you do the same.
It’s clear that objects have a longer (physical) lifespan than an experience. While the new piece of furniture can be used for many years to come, that photography class you’ve been looking forward lasts a few days.
Having this logic in mind, I guess most of you might go for that much-needed furniture.
And if you choose to see it from a more practical and economical side, it’s a highly expected choice. But if we look at it from a happiness viewpoint, science tells us otherwise.
That’s exactly what Prof. Thomas Gilovich, a renowned psychology professor at the Cornell University, has been busy researching for the past two decades.
Dr. Gilovich conducted a 20-year study that analyzed how object-purchasing versus experience-purchasing reflects us.
He is a firm believer that one of the biggest enemies of happiness is adaptation.
”We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.” concludes Gilovich.
Think about it. No matter how excited we are to finally purchase that new iPhone, after a period of time they become just another object that can be easily replaced once a better model comes along.
Objects last past our initial excitement, so they are bound to eventually lose their glow. And with that last spark gone, so is our interest.
On the other side, the experience we choose to purchase may seem temporary BUT they stay with us FOREVER.
Trips around the world, sports activities, new language lessons or that long-awaited vacation to the Maldives you’ve been saving money for, that sky-diving experience, you name it.
No matter how good, extraordinary or even bad your experience was, it’s something that will always stick with you. They have the power to force us to adapt to a new situation, help us learn new meaningful things and sometimes change our mindset.
Experiences are once in a lifetime. And because of their uniqueness, they tend to leave a trace of our existence.You’ll always remember a friendly laugh you shared with a stranger or that unexpected talk that touched your soul deeply when nothing else could.
Dr. Gilovich explains they take on a larger part of our lives than the things we own. The fact that they are special life events and break out from our regular routine makes us cherish them more than any material good.
However, the thing with experiences is that they can be unpredictable as the weather. There’s a larger degree of uncertainty that leaves us questioning and over-analyzing our final decision. That is why we often hesitate before we make that crucial step into the unknown.
“But, what if I don’t like it?”
The list of ‘what if’s’ can go for miles. And it’s totally understandable. There are a lot of legitimate reasons for not wanting to do something. Especially if it’s a something you’ve never tried before.
BUT, science gives us a green light and shows us that it’s WORTH taking the RISK. Even if something didn’t go the way we wanted, Dr. Gilovich reveals that in the end, people will always talk enthusiastically about it.
Let’s assume you finally managed to take some days off and take that hike you’ve always wanted. As long as you reached the peak, it started to rain heavily. It’s among the worst-case scenarios and at the moment you may even feel desperate. But, the memories of the complete experience (good and bad) are here to stay forever!
Remember, no matter the circumstances and how awful one experience might look, life gives us a lot of possibilities and different scenarios. There are always positive sides to every disaster.
After all, we definitely need both objects and experiences in our everyday existence. And at the same time, it is important to understand that every one of us makes the decision for themselves. Some of us are in for the constant thrill that life itself serves us, while others enjoy their shiny material goods.
It’s time that we stopped overspending on the ordinary and started thinking about all the memories and good times we’ll live to explore with a little bit of extra savings and just the right amount of adventurous spirit.
Have you ever got face to face with someone who you felt you have known them forever even though you have just met them? Have you felt an inexplicable and intense connection with them without knowing why?
There are people out there that seem like they know us and connect with us on a heart level. These people are known to be a part of our ‘Soul Group.’
What is a ‘Soul Group’ and how can you recognize someone from your soul group?
A ‘Soul Group’ is a person or a group of people that share your emotional, physical, spiritual, or mental level at any moment. You have a very special and strong bond with these people because you ‘vibrate’ on the same level.
And this intense spiritual and magnetic bond goes way beyond having the same hobbies, opinions, or tastes. It is a connection that is inexplicable, but you feel it with every fiber of your being.
Below are 8 signs that you have met someone from your Soul Group:
1. You Are Magnetically Drawn To Them
You both share an energy that literally pulls you together like a magnet. And for no exact reason, you feel like you can’t distance yourself from them and their energy. Even if you somehow wind up being apart from one another, you will always find a way to get back together again.
2. You Feel Like You’ve Known Them Your Entire Life
When you are around them, you feel very comfortable and understood. This person makes you feel things that you’ve never felt before. When you first met them, you’ve felt disturbed in a pleasant way, as if meeting someone who you’ve known since forever – an entirely strange feeling of familiarity and recognition.
3. Your Eye Contact Is Deep And ‘Dangerous’ (But, Soo Lovely)
When you look the person from your Soul Group in the eye, there is a feeling of recognition, comfort, and familiarity. As if you can look into each other’s souls. And it doesn’t feel awkward at all.
4. Your Soul Feels Nourished In Their Presence
As opposed to those people who seem to drain all your energy and put a great weight on your soul, people from your Soul Group are entirely different. They make you feel seen, loved, understood, and cared for. They nourish and uplift your spirit only by being around you.
5. They Are Soul-Centric, Not Ego-Centric
These people won’t be interested in pursuits that feed their egos, such as money, status, and fame. Instead, they look for ways to nurture their soul – meditation, yoga, healthy eating, reading, and so on.
6. You Both Speak The Same Language
Both of you are emotionally on the same page. You both think in the same way, and it is usual for you to finish each other’s sentences because it’s like you two share one mind.
7. You Can Be Your Raw And Authentic Self Around Them
You don’t feel the need to pretend or hide when you are with someone from your Soul Group. You can be your most vulnerable self with them because you both celebrate each other’s authenticity.
8. They Appear In Your Life When You Need Guidance The Most
This person will appear in moments when you feel like you need a major change in life; when you are not afraid to experience new things and grow beyond your current limitations. In that moment, you will attract someone from your Soul Group to give you guidance.
With every thought that we have, our brain produces chemicals. When we think about good, happy things, our brain produces chemicals that make us feel happy and fulfilled.
On the other hand, if we have bad, negative, or insecure thoughts, our brain will produce chemicals that will make us feel exactly like our thoughts – bad, negative, and insecure.
So, every chemical that our brain produces is, in fact, a message that affects our physical body and well-being. Our body literally feels the way we are thinking.
It only takes one look at consumer’s review sites to see how people only tend to notice the bad reviews rather than the good ones. Plus, a customer who had a negative experience at some restaurant is more likely to write a bad review than a customer who was satisfied with the service.
And this is true in our personal lives as well. We tend to focus on the one or two things that are not going well in our life, instead of focusing on the many things that are going right.
Why does this happen? And, most importantly, how does this negative thinking affect our brains and bodies over time? Can we re-wire our brain to focus only on the positive things?
Moreover, anxiety makes it hard for us to focus inwardly and be self-aware of what’s really happening because the brain keeps searching to be sure that there is really no problem. This brain search is so subtle that we are not even aware that it is happening.
Our subconscious mind reviews every new person, thing, or place for potential harms. Our conscious mind manifests this activity of the subconscious mind as a restriction for us not to get too excited about the new things and start preparing ourselves for the worst that might happen.
Things like losing money, being criticized, getting our hearts broken, or losing someone we love, are things that we mentally prepare for before they occur.
So, what can we do to stop this process?
Taking deep breaths, meditating, or exercising our conscious level to be more connected to what really happens in our life, can help us gain more insight into what’s real and what’s only a product of our negative thoughts.
If we want to re-wire our brain’s way of thinking, we must pay special attention to what kind of thoughts trigger our ‘fight or flight’ response.
Re-wiring the brain for thinking positive thoughts
Our brain creates a network of neurons out of every experience, thought, or feeling that we have. This means that the thoughts and experiences we repeat the most will have the most impact on how our brain is wired.
For example, if we start every day with negative thoughts and complaints about having to go to work, we’ll become stressed, and this will lead to even more negative thinking. Because experiencing the same emotions every day forms a neural network in our brain over time.
Or in other words, one small negative thought can lead to an endless stream of negative thought patterns happening in our brain throughout the whole day.
So, it is essential for us to be mindful and self-aware enough to be able to stop these negative thoughts. We have to have something that is much powerful than them. A vibration that goes higher than our thoughts.
On an energetic level, our most powerful weapon for fighting these negative thoughts are the feelings of love and gratitude. These emotions have more vibration and are both at a higher frequency than fear and worry.
However, we must really feel and really believe in love and gratitude to be able to use these emotions. Because if we don’t feel them, they lose their power.
You can help yourself by imagining fear as a kid who was constantly told to shut up, anger as a kid who was always told that their opinions were wrong, and sadness as a kid that was always left out and no one paid attention to them.
So, embrace this child in you and offer them your love and support. You will soon learn how to turn your painful emotions into something you’ll embrace rather than fear.
How is it that sometimes people so different from one another are the most drawn to each other? Is there any truth to the term opposites attract?
Take empaths and narcissists for example. The value that makes them a whole different would be basic common sense. Believe it or not, not everyone has it in them.
Let’s draw the line between them. Narcissism is a word that is used to explain the psychology behind excessive self-admiration or better yet egomania. Although narcissism is classified as a mental disorder, this term is used loosely to describe extreme egoistic but also split personalities, lack of empathy in people and the power of manipulation.
On the other hand, empaths are extremely sensitive and intuitive people whose primary purpose on Earth is guiding and helping others. Empaths tend to put others needs before theirs to the extreme point of self-sacrifice and this is the main reason behind their constant life disappointment.
What the two of them have in common is high emotional intelligence. In other words, both of them have that unique power to dive right into people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. It’s the way they choose to use it that matters the most.
But why would empaths attract narcissists?
When they come across their reverse or inverted selves they instantly recognize themselves in one another. The empath tries to help cure the self-oriented narcissist, and in return, the narcissist takes full advantage of the selfless empath.
There are two main types of narcissistic beings out there that you should be aware of:
1. The Vulnerable narcissist fears rejection and abandonment. They hide under the mask of vulnerability in the hope of turning into something they idolize. Vulnerable narcissists are incompetent of showing love and empathy for others. In the process of emotional manipulation, their ultimate weapon against you is their mind games. They’ll literally make you believe things that are not true.
2.The Invulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, is the classic type of narcissist who suffers from the superiority complex. You may describe them as these excessively self-centered and confident people who care only about themselves. The difference between them and the vulnerable ones is that they don’t idolize figures, but instead they glorify themselves.
Furthermore, these 2 types are separated into 4 subtypes:
1.The Amorous narcissist: I’m guessing the name is self-revealing. Amorous narcissists are known for their alluring charm to SEDUCE and DESTROY. They lead on their victims with gifts and flattery until they fulfill their sexual or image-oriented needs and then, in just a quick blink of an eye, everything is shattered to pieces. They are highly attractive, but underneath the shell, there’s nothing but complete selfishness.
2.The Compensatory narcissists are the best liars you’ll ever meet. They’re desperate for titles and things they never achieved, so in need of an intellectual disguise, they present themselves as much more than they actually are. Compensatory narcissists are in constant need of validation and ego boosting. Their victims are usually emotionally insecure people that under those false pretenses admire them for what they “TRULY” are.
3. The Elitist narcissists have this outrageous desire to “Rule Them All”. Due to their past achievements or that particular family background, they are deeply convinced that they are better than everyone else and deserve the royal treatment. Elitist narcissists have this consistent need to prove themselves as intellectually superior.
4.The Malignant narcissists are borderline psychopathic people who suffer from the God-complex. They couldn’t care less about making a difference between right and wrong and they don’t feel compassion of any kind. People known as malignant narcissists are extremely arrogant and feed on bullying and “outsmarting” others.
After everything said, the only thing left for us to do is to learn to take care of our well-being and protect our body and soul from the vicious hands of poisonous people.
It’s funny yet scary how this world seems to have turned so cold and heartless. On the other side, there are these precious few amazing emotional beings that shine upon every day’s dullness.
Old souls. You may know them as these unconventionally amazing beings. Rare birds. Regardless of their label, old souls are these extraordinary spiritual beings that exist in life forms but have special emotional intelligence.
You see, the thing that makes them different from other people is the path they’ve chosen on their spiritual journey. And because of their rarity, the greatest problem they face in life is finding true love.
The truth is, every one of us craves for that special love, that one true soulmate, but some people eventually choose to settle for comfort. Old souls yearn for passion, sincerity and deep profound love and won’t stop until their true destined experience comes along.
To understand their existence and reason behind their struggle to find their true love, let these rules help you.
1. They Seek Genuine Love
Old Souls want a true, authentic person in their life. They need a relationship in which both sides would strive for personal growth and emotional maturity. They don’t want a person who will pretend or try to suppress them, but rather an individual who will do their best to encourage and praise their true self.
2. They Want Love That Teaches Them In Any Way
These beautiful flowers yearn for a pure bond that will teach them, but not in the suffering, painful way. Someone who will take care of their soul as well as their body, point all the wrong-doings and make sure they rise to their full potential.
3. They Have Intense Personalities
In a world where compassion is a long-gone virtue, it’s very hard for an Old soul to find their safe place. They reflect empathy, seek truth and share the ETERNAL wisdom. If these characteristics make for a complex personality, then that’s exactly what every one of us should strive for.
4. Their Purpose On Earth Is Not Fixing You
Due to their exquisite nature, they often come across people that need healing. They will never hesitate to help you, but won’t dare enter a relationship in order to fix the partner.
5. There Is A Huge Difference Between Love And Like
Pure love holds true power. Old souls will never ever stop until they find that deep genuine, soul-consuming feeling called love. For them, liking something is admiring and praising one’s exterior. On the other hand, love… Oh, Love is cherishing and loving the soul for the way it is.
6. …The Special, Vulnerable Kind Of Love
Being compatible with someone’s personality is not enough. True love is opening one’s soul and heart even if it hurts like hell. True love will always require taking some risks in order to learn to love purely and unconditionally.
7. They Want Wholeness
Relationships that are based on neediness or depending on the other partner to be fulfilled or happy are doomed from the start. This is why Old Souls needs a partner who is satisfied and already whole by themselves, so they can enjoy their special unity.
8. And Wholeness Requires Commitment
This wholeness they seek in a relationship takes a lot of effort and commitment in order to grow. That is why these rare gems engage only in meaningful relationships where both sides give their best to make it worthwhile.
9.They Won’t Settle For Anything Less Than A Soulmate
By now, you’ve surely figured that these special beings won’t give up on True Love, no matter how hard it is to find. Finding a true soulmate can be a very hard and long process, but once found, it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll live to experience.
10. They Don’t Appreciate Superficial Dating
Old souls are unconventional human beings and the most delicate flowers in this cruel mainstream world. They don’t believe in superficial dating and all of the additional drama that comes with it. For them, the only rule is “Keep it honest and simple”.
11. They Want More Than Just A Plain Physical Pleasure
If you ever get the chance to be a part of an Old soul’s life, know this: They will only share their bodies with the person who loves and accepts their true souls.
12. They May Come with Wounds
Unfortunately, because of their amazing nature to love deeply and give themselves completely, they often experience a lot of disappointments. When it comes to love, they need someone strong enough that we’ll help them deal with their emotional “baggage”.
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