Loving someone truly means loving them unconditionally. Unfortunately, many people tend to think that unconditional love means loving someone no matter what. But, nothing could be further from the truth.

Because this isn’t what unconditional love means. “Loving someone no matter what” is a lack of self-respect. It is attachment. It is neediness. And these three things have nothing to do with genuine, pure, unconditional love.

“Loving someone no matter what” means that you are going to stay in a relationship with that person regardless of the way they treat you or other people. It means that you are supposed to overlook their bad behavior. It means you are supposed to tolerate everything they put you through.

NO! This isn’t how you love someone unconditionally.

To love someone this way means not being dependent on them for your happiness and fulfillment.  It means not putting aside and ignoring your own feelings, needs, and problems. It means not allowing yourself to be mistreated or abused. It means protecting your identity and not forgetting about your importance.

It means loving and taking care of the other person while loving and taking care of yourself. Because if you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you love and respect others?

When you’re unconditionally in love with someone, your love knows no boundaries. You love them so deeply that just the thought of them makes you feel warm on the inside.

You love being around them and you miss them terribly when they’re not around. You feel that you’re deeply connected with them on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level and that this bond is unbreakable.

You know he/she is the one who understands you the most. The one who knows your essence. The one who has managed to reach the deepest parts of your soul.

When you love someone unconditionally, you accept and cherish them for who they are. You’re aware of all their insecurities, annoying habits, fears, problems, and failures, and still, you decide to stay. Still, you make them your choice.

You don’t try to change them or mold them into the person you want them to be. You understand that their flaws and weaknesses are what make the person they are – the person who occupies the most precious place in your heart.

When you love someone unconditionally, you don’t judge and criticize them when they make a mistake or get emotional, moody, or afraid. You don’t make them feel less important because of their past mistakes and failures.

Instead, you show understanding of their problems and insecurities and try your best to help them overcome them.

Yet, loving someone this way doesn’t mean you accept everything they do to you. Instead, it means that when they say or do something that hurts your feelings, you feel free to have open conversations with them about it.

It means that you don’t sweep problems under the carpet, but you put all your cards on the table and work together with your significant other to find solutions to your problems that will be the best for both of you.

When you love someone unconditionally, you allow them to be the true version of themselves. You free them from wearing the mask which society forces them to wear every day.

You understand that they’re not invincible and that they have emotions, weaknesses, and vulnerable sides. And you don’t make them feel embarrassed because of them. Instead, you make them feel free and comfortable to undress their soul and be themselves in front of you.

When you’re unconditionally in love with someone, you keep the original flame of passion always alive. You remember how you felt at the beginning of the relationship, and you make sure you keep feeling that way after that, no matter if you’ve been together for six months or six years.

When you feel unconditional love for someone, your appreciation for life increases. Everything around you gets a new meaning and appears more interesting to you.

When you love someone unconditionally, you love them free of attachment.

You don’t love them because you depend on them or because they make you feel comfortable. You don’t love them because you don’t think you’ll ever find someone better than them or someone who will be willing to accept your imperfections.

Instead, you love them because what you feel for them is pure, deep, and honest. It’s free of expectations and attachment.

You love them because you know they’re worthy of your love and trust. Because you feel free to be yourself in their presence.  Because you’ve never felt like that in your life before.

Because you know you didn’t make a mistake choosing them.

Being in a relationship with your soulmate is a life-changing experience. Because when you’re with your soulmate, you know that you’ve found your forever person. You know that the bond between you is close and strong. You start to see romantic relationships in a different way. And you feel like you can face any challenge and overcome any pain life may throw your way as long as you have this person by your side.

Being in a relationship with your soulmate is a real blessing. But, the truth is that not all soulmate relationships last forever. Sometimes there comes a point in our lives when we have to separate from the person whom we thought we were going to spend our lives with.

And the breakup is difficult and painful. It leaves a void in your life. It makes you think that you’ll never find love again. It makes you think that you’ll never be able to move on. But, this is not true.

Because regardless of how difficult and traumatizing it is to imagine spending your life without your soulmate, you’ll manage to summon up the strength to move on with your life. Sooner or later you’ll manage to pluck up the courage to let go of that person and get back on your feet.

Following are 7 things you experience when you and your soulmate are forced to part ways:

1. You become a different version of yourself.

After you part ways with your soulmate, you’ll never be the same again. You will change both on the inside and outside. You’ll feel like you’re missing an important part of yourself. But, you will also learn to deal with the heartbreak and emotional pain.

You will discover that you have the strength to heal and carry on with your life. The way you approach people and relationships will change as well. And one thing’s for sure: You will become more experienced and stronger than before.

2. The way you think about love changes as well.

Your idea of what love should feel like begins to change. You realize that love is not what you always thought it was. You also realize that you might never get to experience that profound, powerful, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love again, but you’re fine with that fact.

3. You feel extreme pain.

Breaking up with your soulmate will inevitably cause you to feel immense pain. You’ll feel sad, depressed, and devastated. You’ll feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. But, this is completely normal. After all, you separated from someone with whom you had a deep emotional, mental, and spiritual connection.

Yet, don’t despair. Sadness doesn’t last forever, and as time passes, you’ll heal your wounds and move forward.

4. You feel like a ghost for a long time.

The period after the breakup can feel like hell. You start to feel like you’re just going through the motions and not actually living. You feel empty, confused, and lost. You may even have a hard time socializing. But, don’t worry, this is only a phase and it won’t last forever. In time, you’ll overcome the pain and get back to normal.  

5. You’ll fall in love again, but it’ll feel different.

Of course, in time, you’ll find someone whom you’ll love and care about, but you won’t feel the way you did with your soulmate. The connection and energy between you won’t be as deep and powerful as the ones that existed between you and your soulmate.

Yet, don’t let this discourage you because although this might not be a soulmate love, it’ll still be love and it’ll be special and magical in its own way. You just have to be open to and embrace that feeling and let yourself love and be loved.

6. You’ll always think about that person.

It’s very hard, almost impossible, to get a person like this out of your mind. They’ll cross your mind from time to time irrespective of how much time has passed. No matter what you’re doing in life, where you are, and who you’re with, the memories you have of that person will always be with you.

The wound that you get when you part ways with your soulmate is a wound that never entirely closes. But, this is normal, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of your vulnerability or try to repress your emotions. Instead, let them come, feel them, and then let them go.

7. You move on because you have no other choice.

You move on with your life because you have to and also because that’s the right thing to do. However, you start to see the world around you in a different way. You grow into someone who has become stronger and more resilient as a result of this experience. You also become more determined to not let anyone and anything hurt you that way again.

What you need to remember is that moving forward is the best thing you can do. It’s your life and you need to make the most of it. 

There’s something that has been going through my mind for days, so I believe it is finally time for me to spit it out… I can’t hold it in any longer and I won’t.

So, let’s get straight to the point, shall we?

What’s up with this “She makes me want to become a better person”?

Hey men… Women don’t want to be rehabilitation centers for traumatized, badly raised, immature and generally troubled men.

We don’t want to raise you; we want to grow and flourish together.

I mean, I get. It’s supposed to be a compliment. It is supposed to let me know that you are so madly in love with me that you truly cherish my presence in your life. It supposed to flatter me and make me proud of how strong I am. It’s supposed to make me feel as though I am a superhero. I get it, I do.

But… you know what? It’s not flattering at all. Pardon my French, but it’s bullsh*t.

And what’s even more disturbing, it’s everywhere around us. Everywhere you look, regardless of which segment of life you are analyzing, women are constantly expected to be these strong, almighty, superhero humans who are always there to lend a helping hand or fix the guy who for some reason struggles to do that on his own.

Let’s take the Childish Gambino’s music video for example. Halfway through the video, a sad and troubled Kanye appears. For some reason, Michelle Obama hugs him, lifts his spirits and suddenly he is fine again.

What’s up with that? Are you seriously telling me that Kanye secretly needs to be saved by a strong, brave woman like Michelle?

Here’s what. We already have enough baggage on our shoulders. We do everything in our power to be good moms, loving friends, loyal partners. We fight with the oppression almost 24 hours a week, we try hard to excel in our career, we struggle to find time for self-care, we run the household and etc. and etc. And now all of a sudden, we are expected to be responsible for inspiring men to become better human beings?

Hell no!

Don’t you think we need inspiring and lifting up as well?

So, then who will inspire us?

I don’t know if you know but we are flawed as well. We are doing our best to be better humans as well. And it is pretty damn hard if you ask me, but you know how we do it? By reflecting on ourselves. By not depending on anyone. By diving deep within. That’s where we search for our strength and willingness to be more and do more. Because that is something every human being is supposed to do in their life if they want to find true happiness.

We are busy, overwhelmed, exhausted, troubled and not so strong as some of you may sometimes think. So, taking responsibility for another grown human being is not on our priority list. And it will never be!

We don’t want to raise our partner. We want someone who would try hard to become a better person by learning from his own mistakes and going through things without our influence or our inspiration. If a woman is a kind, decent and admirable person that doesn’t mean that she should be a man’s main guidance in life. Being there for another person is one thing and being expected to always be there for someone because you are a woman is completely another.

Why is it that when a man is struggling with something, the woman who stays with him is considered loyal and loving, but when a woman is going through some stuff and the man leaves her, he then successfully dodged a bullet?

How come women supporting troubled men is a common thing, and men supporting troubled women is a rarity?

What about us? We fall apart just as you do. Sometimes it’s even more painful. And yet, we still manage to somehow suck it all up and find the strength within us to move on.

Stop holding us accountable for your personal growth. I know that this might come off as harsh and that some of you mean this in a good way, but please…I need you to stop it. This is really getting out of hand.

Instead of expecting a woman to fix you, try to fix yourself. Be better. Do better. Grow. Fall. Rise up. Learn from your mistakes. At your own pace. In your own time.

We are not responsible for your actions. Nor we’ll ever be.

We all want our romantic relationships to be strong, happy, meaningful, and long-lasting. We all want to find someone who will accept us and cherish us the way we are. Someone who will show us what true love feels like.  

So, the question is: What makes a good relationship?

The first thing that probably pops into your mind is love. Perhaps you’ve often been told, and perhaps you believe in that yourself, that love is the most important ingredient in a relationship. But, is this really so?

I’ve known a lot of couples that were deeply in love with each other and yet their relationships failed. I have been there myself as well.  I had to see my relationships fall apart in front of my eyes until I found the one that showed me what it’s like to be in a happy and meaningful relationship. I’ve realized that this kind of relationship requires much more than just love.

I’ve realized that a happy and meaningful relationship teaches you what behaviors strengthen a relationship and what behaviors ruin it. It makes you become more aware of your feelings, needs, wishes, desires, and expectations. It shows you how wonderful it is to be with that one person that makes you feel complete and whole.

And most importantly, it teaches you essential lessons about relationships, and in what follows, we’ve presented the 7 most valuable ones:

1. If someone truly loves you and wants to be with you, they’ll be with you. They’ll never allow anything and anyone to ruin your happiness, destroy your love, and tear you apart.  Moreover, they will let you know how important you are to them and make sure you always feel protected and safe.

2. If someone really cares about you, they’ll never put you in a position to question their feelings for you. They’ll never string you along or avoid committing to you by telling you lame excuses, such as “it’s not the right time” or  “I need to focus more on my career now.” Because it’s never the right time until it’s the right person.

3. You learn that kissing, cuddling, date nights, and romantic surprises are sweet but they’re not commitment. They’re not a willingness to endure the difficulties that appear in every relationship sooner or later.

4. You learn that every meaningful and successful relationship requires much more than just love. It requires hard work. It requires patience, understanding, compassion, respect, commitment, compromises, sacrifice. It requires work on yourself – to be willing to grow personally and become a better version of yourself.

5. When you truly love someone you accept them for who they are, with all of their faults, quirks, insecurities, and fears. Maybe their bad habit of leaving their personal stuff all over the place or talking loudly annoys you.

But these are things you don’t try to change because they’re a part of the person you love and they make them special. You learn to accept and cherish your loved one with all their imperfections.

6. Arguments don’t tear you apart  – they bring you closer. They strengthen and improve your relationship.

7. Last but not least, you learn that when you’re finally in a good relationship, you’re completely satisfied with your choice. You don’t look around to find someone better. You don’t look for your happiness in other men or women. You feel relieved and lucky to have found the one you’ve always wanted to be with.

I’m sure you’ll agree that when you first become friends with someone, you enjoy spending time together. You are kind to each other. And you respect each other’s opinions and feelings.

And before you know it, you begin teasing each other about everything. You feel so comfortable being around each other that you feel free to talk about anything.  Your conversations go from, “Wow, you look great!” to “What happened to your hair? Are you trying to scare everyone around you?”

The truth is that real friendships move from casual to close. Once you and a friend reach the phase where you easily cross each other’s boundaries, you can take this as a sign that your friend really is your BEST FRIEND.

Here are the 12 stages of friendship:

Stage 1: The nice phase.

During this phase, you’re nice and give compliments to each other as much as possible. You’re careful not to hurt their feelings and you watch your behavior. For example, if they ask you something like: “How do I look in these jeans?”, you think twice before you answer them.

Stage 2: I just met her/him. Am I going to look too clingy or desperate if I ask them to hang out 2 days in a row phase?

During this phase, you’re wondering whether you’re bothering them with your frequent phone calls and messages to hang out. You’re trying to find out if this makes you look clingy and weird.

Stage 3: The secret is out. I can finally be myself phase.

In this phase, you feel free to text your best friend 30 times in a row. Moreover, you no longer feel embarrassed to show that you can sometimes get cranky and clingy when your friend doesn’t respond to your calls or messages.

Stage 4: The ‘couple’ phase.

This phase involves that awkward moment when you and your best friend behave more like a couple than you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. It may look surprising, but you go on more dates with your best friend and you often find yourself having more fun with them than with your partner.

Stage 5: The honest, oh no wait, the blunt phase.

During this stage, you feel free to tell each other what you really mean and what you need to hear. There’s no beating around the bush or feeling uncomfortable telling your best friend what they probably don’t want to hear. If “Admit it-he/she’s not into you” sounds familiar to you, know you’re on the right track and moving towards…

Stage 6: Feeling comfortable showing your psycho side phase.

That’s it. You can fly off the handle in an instant without worrying this may scare your best friend and make them think “What’s wrong with her/him?” You can have mood swings, be happy and relaxed one moment and flip out the next, let’s say, for example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t answer your calls.

Stage 7: Feeling comfortable enough to get psycho at each other phase.

This is the stage when you don’t try to control your emotions anymore. You shout and yell at each other until you let all your anger out. You can even argue about the stupidest things. Yet, you can’t stay mad at each other for more than 3 hours because you have a lot of gossip to catch up on and there’s no a better person than your best friend you can share that with.

Stage 8: Getting comfortable planning hoe activities phase.

This is the stage when if you see your best friend drinking (more than they should), you simply don’t stop them – you join them. You’re best friends and you encourage each other’s hoe activities.

Stage 9: The private detective phase.

If you need to get some information about someone or something, you send your best friend to do some investigation. This stage involves spying for each other and finding out things which are usually private and supposed to be kept as a secret.

Stage 10: No convo is off limits phase.

In this stage, you feel free to show all your nasty habits. No more refraining – you’ve had it enough. You’re not ashamed to burp or fart in front of each other, or talk about going number one and especially, number two in the bathroom. You’re best friends and best friends talk about everything.

Stage 11: Showing your friend messages from the latest fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend phase.

You had a fight with your bae and if you still keep the texts in your phone, the next step is sending 20 screenshots of them to your best friend. You feel a lot easier and relieved when you share your love problems with them.

Stage 12: The typing up conversations for each other phase.

Okay, it’s official – there are no boundaries left. This is the phase when you type up your best friend’s arguments when she/he’s arguing with their partner. You know all their private problems and secrets, well, they’re actually no longer a secret.

This goes to you – the girl who loved someone more than she loved herself.

First of all, let me tell you that your heart is unique. Your soul is innocent and pure. And you have qualities that not many people possess.

You love in unique ways. You love honestly and deeply. You love wholeheartedly and unconditionally. You love hard. And for that, I salute you.

I salute you for believing him. I salute you for letting him be a part of your life although he never showed he deserved that. Thank you letter closings.

I salute you for letting him consume your time and energy although he didn’t give you anything in return.

I salute you for staying with him although he never made you his priority. Yeah, you were always his option. His favorite pastime. To him, you were nothing else, but a girlfriend of convenience.

I salute you for loving the guy who was fickle. The guy who could act he was interested in you one day and then be indifferent the other. And you deserved much more than his mixed feelings for you. You deserved to know where you stand in his life.

You were brave for putting up with someone who only called you when he needed someone to talk to or just have fun with. Someone who never bothered to ask you how your day went. Someone who never asked you how you felt or why you looked sad.

I salute you for forgiving him for all the bad things he did to you. For giving him thousands of chances although he deserved not even one.

I salute you for having the strength to heal your wounds when you were deeply hurt. For having the strength to smile when you were crying on the inside. I salute you for hiding your sorrow behind a strong, confident face.

I salute you for not losing hope that things would get better. That one day, he’ll realize how important and amazing you are. That he will see your kindness, unselfishness, and efforts. That he would change.

I salute you for loving someone who didn’t love you back. Someone who couldn’t or didn’t want to appreciate you.

I salute you for loving him enough to allow him to break your heart time and time again.

I salute you for always making him a part of your life although he never saw you as a part of his.

And maybe many will judge you for staying with such a guy and allowing him to treat you that way.  They’ll say you were naive and that you should have stood up for yourself. But, don’t let that upset you because they don’t love in the way you do.

They don’t understand that you aren’t afraid to get hurt. You wore your heart on your sleeve and allowed your love for him to break your heart in countless pieces. And yet, you were brave enough to pick them up all by yourself.

You believed that if he felt your true love, this would touch his heart and change him. You chose love over anything else. You were neglected and humiliated, but you still chose to love and never stopped looking for the good in him. You loved the wrong guy but you didn’t allow this to shatter your hope that true love exists.

And I salute you because no matter how many times people have criticized you for loving the wrong guy and your soul was wounded, you always choose LOVE.

Love over anything else. You always choose to love unselfishly, forgive, heal your wounds, overcome your pain, and move on.

You choose to love even when every single part of you is exhausted. And it takes a lot of courage for that.

That’s why I salute and admire you.

Love can be scary, hard, and painful. But, keep loving, Girl, because there’s nothing in the world that the intensity of your love cannot conquer. And I can only hope that one day you’ll find someone who will know how to love and appreciate you. Someone who will be grateful for having such an amazing person in his life – YOU.